Thread: Haven't heard from Little Johnny lately

LOL!

The milk man was delivering to Little Johnnies house and he saw LJ mixing something in a large pot. "What you mixing LJ?" LJ says "Chicken shit". "What you gonna do with that LJ?" LJ looks up and says "Make a milk man."
A little later the post man comes by and the conversation is the same except LJ says hes gonna make a post man.
The milk man & post man were having coffee and mentioned what a little shit LJ was. A cop having coffee with them said "I'll go straighten him out."
The cop went over to LJ house and said "What you mixing LJ?" LJ says "Chicken shit." "What you ganna do with it?" asks the cop. LJ says "Nothing." The cop swells up his chest "Just like I thought. I heard what you said to the milk man and the post man. Must be your too scared to say that your making a police man to me."
LJ looks up and says "Nope, not scared. Not enough chicken shit."

^^lol good one J

Thanks for the laugh... I need those...

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

keep them coming and I"ll have a great day...

One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".

His teacher replies "NO"

Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".

"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.

Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".

She again says "NO".

"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.

"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.

Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"

Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".

Lil J and his sister Sally are going to the kitchen for breakfast one morning. Their mommy asks Sally what she would like and after some thought lil' Sally says "Gimmie some of those damn cherios ma" WHACK! her mom slaps her face and says "That was terible ... Sally you go to school with no breakfast". Then calmly she loooks over at Lil J' and asked him "Johnny what would you like for breakfast this morning?" to wich he replied "I don't know ma, but you can bet your sweet ass I don't want none of those fucking cherios!".

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot"

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then, Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny replied,

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

The teacher's trying to get all of her students to buy a copy of the class picture.

She says, "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you're all grown up. You'll say, There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or, 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" Lil' Johnny says, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."

^^^