Dear Mom.........

**ALBOB** · 09-20-2004, 09:00 AM

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an
envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom."
With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the
letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is
so nice even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his
motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant
and John said that we would be very happy. He already owns a trailer
in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He
wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Brooke

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card, which is in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

**bulletproof1** · 09-20-2004, 09:03 AM

**MaxMirkin** · 09-20-2004, 09:05 AM

**DFINEST** · 09-20-2004, 09:24 AM

Once more and again Albob,

one

**BoneCrusher** · 09-20-2004, 10:45 AM

Roflma!!!

**pmech** · 09-20-2004, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by ALBOB

Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is
so nice even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his
motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant
and John said that we would be very happy. He already owns a trailer
in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He
wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Brooke

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card, which is in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

And this is how I would have read it

Originally Posted by ALBOB

Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new boyfriend, WTF is that little pricks name, real passion with John and Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John Kill John

**PreMier** · 09-20-2004, 07:24 PM

LOL Fucking great.

**irontime** · 09-21-2004, 05:16 PM

Kinda reminds me of 5 years ago when I recieved a DUI and I had to tell the parents.

Went to visit home and my sister and mom are talking, I come in and sit around for a bit and eventually my mom asks me what is new. So I answer "well, Angelique is pregnant" (ex that I just broke up with at that time) My sister and mom drop their jaws and are completely freaked out. Then I pipe up "Just joking, but I did lose my license"

She was actually fucking relieved when I told her that.

**ALBOB** · 09-21-2004, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by irontime

Kinda reminds me of 5 years ago when I recieved a DUI and I had to tell the parents.

Went to visit home and my sister and mom are talking, I come in and sit around for a bit and eventually my mom asks me what is new. So I answer "well, Angelique is pregnant" (ex that I just broke up with at that time) My sister and mom drop their jaws and are completely freaked out. Then I pipe up "Just joking, but I did lose my license"

She was actually fucking relieved when I told her that.

Niiiiiiiiice.

**Jo-Anna** · 09-22-2004, 11:47 AM

I don't think my heart could take a letter like that. I'm glad 15 is gone, and she still is living safely at home.

**ALBOB** · 09-22-2004, 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by Jo-Anna

I don't think my heart could take a letter like that. I'm glad 15 is gone, and she still is living safely at home.

Did she tell you about our date Saturday night?

**Jo-Anna** · 09-23-2004, 09:47 AM

OHHHH!!! I'm so gona woop your back side!!! My daughter is OFF-LIMITS TO ANY AND ALL MALE AND FEMALE SEXCRAZED SEEKERS!!! I know, I know it sounds like an out of control mom, but truely I'm just at a loss for words. I have no idea how I would react to her even thinking about sex right now. I'm really not ready to handle that.

**ALBOB** · 09-23-2004, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by Jo-Anna

OHHHH!!! I'm so gona woop your back side!!! My daughter is OFF-LIMITS TO ANY AND ALL MALE AND FEMALE SEXCRAZED SEEKERS!!! I know, I know it sounds like an out of control mom, but truely I'm just at a loss for words. I have no idea how I would react to her even thinking about sex right now. I'm really not ready to handle that.

**First phase of my evil plan complete. Now to proceed with phase two.**

Yeah, you're absolutely right. Your daughter is waaaaay too fragile to be thinking about dating. YOU, on the other hand, need to be taken out and shown a good time. So, when you coming to Vegas?

**See guys, it doesn't just work with report cards and DUI's.

)

**pmech** · 09-23-2004, 03:57 PM

lol nice

**chiquita6683** · 09-23-2004, 04:05 PM

Omg Wtf Has Society Come Too?????????

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