New religion thread

[largepkg]

I tried to train the cat to no avail.

[John H.]

Ok, we are starting a new religion for those of us who do not have one. What are we going to allow.

First and foremost, I want to allow premarital sex with multiple anonymouos partners. Also, we will allow same sex marriage as long as it is between to hot chicks. No bull dykes or dudes, that is just gross. I s'pose we can make an exception for Minotaur.

Also, instead of bread and wine we will have beer and pizza. Buffalo Wings will be an acceptable substitution for pizza.

Hi Dale,

A "new religion"? OK, I'd say Sex must be allowed - as long as each is of age and ability of consent and give that consent freely. Remember most "religions" want to damn Sex so this "new religion" would certainly be very popular in that respect... The Gender of those involved should have absolutely nothing to do with it since it is a private matter between individuals. If two Guys want to join in a union I say that is just fine too. Two Women, fine. A Man and a Woman, fine... Multiple? We have to have more discussion about this aspect... I would not allow lying since Sex would be allowed and you would no longer have any need to lie about anything... Since so many seem to have a "need to lie" I guess this could be a problem so I would say we all need to talk about that aspect of this "religion"...

I would require that all people work out sincerely and honestly. DO their very best. BE healthy totally as nearly as possible.

You mention pre-marital sex: the "laws" would have to be changed to accomodate this for sure. I say that a 16 year old base is probably reasonable - or maybe even 15 1/2. I believe most of the rest of the world says 16 is age of consent. Certainly biologically speaking 15 1/2 is probably closer to accuracy if you are trying to "settle" everyone on this issue. Nature is HARD at work by the time a person is 15 1/2 and I would say Nature is probably right. We just need to become "adult-ish" more by that age so we understand all the ramifications of having Sex at 15 1/2...

I see no reason for having "communion" (as we now know it to be) so I would say the beer and pizza would tend to harm our goal of everyone being fit and healthy. Oral Sex COULD actually be a form of "communion" and probably be more sincere and honest. I think "swallowing" should be encouraged for sure... Everyone must learn about foreplay not "just" Sex. And become damn good at it.

What kind of "bible" or "hymnal" would you want? Playboy, Playgirl, Hustler...?

Take Care, John H.

[John H.]

Ok, we are starting a new religion for those of us who do not have one. What are we going to allow.

First and foremost, I want to allow premarital sex with multiple anonymouos partners. Also, we will allow same sex marriage as long as it is between to hot chicks. No bull dykes or dudes, that is just gross. I s'pose we can make an exception for Minotaur.

Also, instead of bread and wine we will have beer and pizza. Buffalo Wings will be an acceptable substitution for pizza.

Hi Dale,

Would this "religion" need a "leader"? As in "pope". Or would he just be "popish" in nature? Should "confessions" be encouraged or should we have rampant rumors so we all would have a alot to "talk about" or "specuate"...?

Take Care, John H.

[pmech]

Just your suggestion of having sex with minors is reasons for excommunication. Retard.

[John H.]

May I having a ruling on impure thoughts while looking at an 18 year old? (female of course)

Hi Large,

I think since "impure thoughts" are natural they should always be allowed - even encouraged. The mind is very fertile and I see no reason to prevent it from doing its work... Maybe even sharing thoughts could breed true happiness among each other?

Take Care, John H.

[John H.]

Just your suggestion of having sex with minors is reasons for excommunication. Retard.

Hi Pmech,

Sorry, you apparently did not read what I said accurately or carefully. I NEVER said NOR DO I THINK EVER that there be Sex with minors. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The age of consent is ESTABLISHED by "those in charge" and currently throughout most of the world it is 16 now. And see what I said about being more "adultish" - meaning people need to grow up and become ADULT in the truest sense of the word.

Take Care, John H.

[Dale Mabry]

I propose that Stephen designate a week every month that is solely for the worshipping of the women in this religion. The week may vary for each woman, she will let you know in advance.

During that week, men are to say nothing but flattering comments about how beautiful the woman is, should make every effort to provide a steady supply of high-end chocolate, and offer to take care of all household duties that usually befall the woman the rest of the month.

I believe this would go in the exact opposite direction of where we are heading. I chatted with Stephen, here are the answers to questions.

Women with small boobs and overweight women, can be naked. I think we are going to have to designate certain rooms of the "church" to different fetishes.

We also have to come up with a different word than church, I don't want to take anything from current religions.

In order to maintain order, men can bust other men's balls. If someone has a cleft palate or some obvious disorder you must bust their balls about something other than that affliction. The only exception to this rule is Albob's erectile dysfunction, now that shit is funny. JK

The clothed-oppression/naked-worshipped thing is a continuum. If a woman chooses to wear a bathing suit, she will be more oppressed than the naked one, but more worshipped than the clothed one. Certain articles of lingerie
can be considred as nudity, provided it eventually comes off.

Sunday from 1pm EST until 12am Tuesday morning is a female no talk zone in observance of Football. If women have any type of zone for observance to watch their soaps, say from Monday thru Friday noon until 3pm, we can work with that.

[John H.]

Instead of waiting to die to get 40 virgins can I just get mine now?

Hi Maniclion,

You'd have to ask Dale - since he is the "pope". I see no reason why this could not be "granted"... As long as they "are of age and ability of consent and give that consent freely"...

Take Care, John H.

[GoalGetter]

Sunday from 1pm EST until 12am Tuesday morning is a female no talk zone in observance of Football. If women have any type of zone for observance to watch their soaps, say from Monday thru Friday noon until 3pm, we can work with that.

What about females that actually want to observe Football? Can they talk?

[John H.]

I'm officially at a loss for words. Anyone care to help?

Hi Large,

I think "Officially" should NEVER be uttered in this religion. Everything about that word destroys....

Take Care, John H.

[craig777]

What about females that actually want to observe Football? Can they talk?

Do they want to comment on the game, or on relationships and communication and stuff like that.

[Dale Mabry]

They can talk about football and tits. Oh yeah, and they can ask what kind of beer you wanht too.

I am not pope, I am merely reporting on what Stephen tells me, I guess I am sort of a prophet. A man of the people perhaps.

[John H.]

I tried to train the cat to no avail.

Hi Large,

Cats and dogs need to learn how to use the vacuum cleaner on themselves...

Take Care, John H.

[GoalGetter]

Do they want to comment on the game, or on relationships and communication and stuff like that.

This particular female would like to be afforded the freedom to comment on the insane level of suckage the Dolphins have been afflicted with this season, including the prediction of the firing of Coach "A punt is a good play" Wannstedt.

If that is OK with Stephen, of course.

[Dale Mabry]

Oh yeah, and we will rate friends based the cell phone tier system.

Tier 1 friend.
Great buddy, if he/she calls your cell you answer promptly.

Tier 2
Good pal, but a chatty person who wastes your anytime minutes on bullshit. This person will call and go over shit you already went over. You do not waste anytime minutes on this person, you do, however call them back from a land line or let them leave a message. You are prompt at returning their message and will use weekend and night minutes. Current significant others are automatically in this tier unless you have free mobile to mobile.

Tier 3
This person is an acquaintance, and an annoyance. Whence they call, you hit the end button and send their ass to voice mail. You respond whenever the moment moves you or you need a service they can provide. Old girlfriends and booty calls fit into this category.

Tier 4
You have a next generation cell phone, so why not use the features, right? This is douche, you have your phone set up to send them right to voice mail whenever they call. No effort is required on your part, but this jerkoff is the reason you don't answer private numbers.

[ZECH]

What about females that actually want to observe Football? Can they talk?

They must first jump up and down thrice, bouncing their breast thus hopefully throwing any article of clothing off them. Then after commenting they must turn the opposite direction and bow! We welcome all disscusions by females abiding by this.

[ZECH]

Of course during the commercials, we will tell the females how lovely their comments were!

[GoalGetter]

Of course during the commercials, we will tell the females how lovely their comments were!

[ZECH]

What? Got to keep them motivated!

[GoalGetter]

Can we use Stephen's name in vain?

[MaxMirkin]

Can we use Stephen's name in vain?

Only in artery.