Reply With QuoteWhat is this religion's stance on hookers?
New religion thread
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Thread: New religion thread
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10-11-2004, 01:44 PM #1Moderator MODERATOR
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New religion thread
Ok, we are starting a new religion for those of us who do not have one. What are we going to allow.
First and foremost, I want to allow premarital sex with multiple anonymouos partners. Also, we will allow same sex marriage as long as it is between to hot chicks. No bull dykes or dudes, that is just gross. I s'pose we can make an exception for Minotaur.
Also, instead of bread and wine we will have beer and pizza. Buffalo Wings will be an acceptable substitution for pizza.If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...
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10-11-2004, 01:56 PM #2Cheerfully Offensive
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The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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10-11-2004, 02:10 PM #3Registered User
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Based upon Stevens teaching Hookers are completely allowed.
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10-11-2004, 02:13 PM #4Cheerfully Offensive
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Then where do I sign up?
Originally Posted by pmech
The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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10-11-2004, 02:21 PM #5Member
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Can you smoke weed without going to confession?
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10-11-2004, 02:24 PM #6Registered User
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I believe the rules should state that you may smoke weed in the confessional. But Dale may need to answer that one.
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10-11-2004, 02:36 PM #7is still around...
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Interesting that I'm questioning my faith (or lack thereof) at the moment. And then this thread comes along. I think that is a sign. Divine intervention?
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10-11-2004, 03:10 PM #8Dookie
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May I having a ruling on impure thoughts while looking at an 18 year old? (female of course)
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10-11-2004, 03:20 PM #9Cheerfully Offensive
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Your soul already belongs to Lord Satan, don't be trying to go behind his back to a different deity. Originally Posted by GoalGetter
The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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10-11-2004, 03:20 PM #10Registered User
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sound good to me dale!!
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10-11-2004, 04:52 PM #11Member
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This type of behavior is encouraged. Backed up men start wars and threaten world peace. Originally Posted by largepkg
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10-11-2004, 04:54 PM #12IDIOT SAVANT
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I hope this religion, and ANY religion, would say you're WAY to fucking ugly to be a hooker. Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???
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10-11-2004, 05:04 PM #13Cheerfully Offensive
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Flattery won't get you a discount. Originally Posted by ALBOB
I hope this religion, and ANY religion, would say you're WAY to fucking ugly to be a hooker.
The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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10-11-2004, 05:09 PM #14Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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Instead of waiting to die to get 40 virgins can I just get mine now?
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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10-11-2004, 05:33 PM #15Member
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You can, but I must warn you they are hairy Afgan's who believe personal hygiene is ungodly. Still interested? Originally Posted by maniclion
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10-12-2004, 07:00 AM #16Moderator MODERATOR
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Good suggestions so far, let's clear some things up.
Unlike most religions, the gospel is up for interpretation and the commandments can be changed whenever we feel like it,
First and foremost, to separate us from the Catholic Church, there will be no homosexual pedophilia.
Second, Hookers and weed are allowed, but no poopy dank, only the good stuff.
Third, The Sabbath is Thursday through Sunday. thoou shall not do any work on the Sabbath.
Holidays, every day is a holiday. And Wednesdays are hawaiian shirt day.
Women who wear clothes will be oppressed, women who are naked will be worshipped.
Stephen is the deity, and whatever he says goes. He rarely does or says anything, which is why he is such a great deity, so we pretty much do whatever we want.
Ok, let's keep going.If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...
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10-12-2004, 07:24 AM #17Dookie
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A few more questions must be answered.
1. Does our lord spell his name Steven or Stephen?
2. Do we have a name for this religion?
3. Is there a weight limit on the naked women to be worshiped?
4. If we only work M, T, W, then Tuesday becomes hump day. Can we make this a literal meaning?
5. I have a suggestion for the commandments. We'll start with "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors's wife unless she's a 8.5 or above"
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10-12-2004, 07:35 AM #18is still around...
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My god, i love this thread. I may be a straight woman now, but I'm positive I must have been a guy in a previous life.
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10-12-2004, 07:46 AM #19Dookie
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You are a keeper my Dear! Originally Posted by GoalGetter
My god, i love this thread. I may be a straight woman now, but I'm positive I must have been a guy in a previous life.
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10-12-2004, 07:48 AM #20is still around...
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I have only one request... nudity (for me anyway) will only take place on special occasions, giant birthday cakes notwithstaning. Originally Posted by largepkg
At all other times, I will be wearing at least black bikini. It gets kinda chilly, a girl needs to cover up some.
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10-12-2004, 08:01 AM #21Dookie
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I believe I speak for Stephen and all his followers when I say no exceptions can be made. Worshiped = naked! Originally Posted by GoalGetter
You live in SFLA! Chilly?
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10-12-2004, 08:03 AM #22Founder of GOSB SUPER MODERATOR
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Women must have at least a small c cup size and must want sex at all times
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10-12-2004, 08:04 AM #23is still around...
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Ah shit. I guess I'm disqualified. Originally Posted by dg806
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10-12-2004, 08:05 AM #24Founder of GOSB SUPER MODERATOR
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Hmmmmmmmmm, my birthday is next month! I now know what I want for my birthday! What ya say GG? Originally Posted by GoalGetter
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10-12-2004, 08:05 AM #25is still around...
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Well, in the office, Mon-Wed. It's cold in here. Even in July i dress for "winter" to come to the office! haha! Originally Posted by largepkg
But it doesn't matter now I guess because according to dg, the smallness of my breasts disqualifies me from being in this religion.
I shall continue my quest...
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10-12-2004, 08:06 AM #26Founder of GOSB SUPER MODERATOR
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Nope yours passes the test Originally Posted by GoalGetter
Ah shit. I guess I'm disqualified.
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10-12-2004, 08:07 AM #27is still around...
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I have small boobs, man Originally Posted by dg806
Hmmmmmmmmm, my birthday is next month! I now know what I want for my birthday! What ya say GG?
But if ya'll make an exception, I'll start practicing hahaha!
What about the women? Do we get men (in boxers please, not thongs) jumping out of cakes on our birthdays (for starters)?
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10-12-2004, 08:08 AM #28Founder of GOSB SUPER MODERATOR
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Hey, you jump out of mine, I'll jump out of yours!
And they are not small............perfect!
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10-12-2004, 08:12 AM #29is still around...
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hahaha! I think i can live with that. Originally Posted by dg806
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10-12-2004, 08:14 AM #30Dookie
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GG, Thongs? How many men do you know who wear thongs?
Thongs are banned!
BTW, breast size is not a requirement for worship! Just good'ol nakedness!
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