A speech I'd like to hear.....

**yellowmoomba** · 10-25-2004, 08:32 AM

Subject: Speech

This is the way to go!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH OR JOHN KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or
maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2 President
Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
Soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

**pmech** · 10-25-2004, 08:40 AM

Nice

**Dale Mabry** · 10-25-2004, 08:44 AM

I got a better one...

My Fellow Americans...

Most of the shit I say, I make up as I go. What I tell you typically has a spin to it so that you think you are getting something you are not. Upsetting as it may be, the likelihood of you being better off after 4 years of my presidency is slim to none, and slim just left town. So in closing, I look forward to not really listening to what you have to say once you cast your vote.

Thank you

**LazyByNature** · 10-25-2004, 12:10 PM

How about this

My Fellow Americans ...

Its not the job of the president to better your life situation. It's yours. So, go to school, don't get pregnant or impregnate someone else, graduate, get a job, work everyday, get promoted, save some money, etc ...

**ZECH** · 10-25-2004, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by LazyByNature

How about this

My Fellow Americans ...

Its not the job of the president to better your life situation. It's yours. So, go to school, don't get pregnant or impregnate someone else, graduate, get a job, work everyday, get promoted, save some money, etc ...

DAMN RIGHT!

Du · 10-25-2004, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by LazyByNature

How about this

My Fellow Americans ...

Its not the job of the president to better your life situation. It's yours. So, go to school, don't get pregnant or impregnate someone else, graduate, get a job, work everyday, get promoted, save some money, etc ...

Annoy a liberal- Work hard and smile.

**Dale Mabry** · 10-25-2004, 01:12 PM

In a bad economy you can do all of those things and still not make nearly what you are supposed to. Case in point me.

**tucker01** · 10-25-2004, 01:25 PM

Geez where else are we meant to ship our Garbage. How else would we keep our country so clean

**BoneCrusher** · 10-25-2004, 01:37 PM

Maybe we could send all of our unemployable people to Canada ...

**ALBOB** · 10-25-2004, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

In a bad economy you can do all of those things and still not make nearly what you are supposed to. Case in point me.

Yeah, but you're stupid.

**Dale Mabry** · 10-25-2004, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by ALBOB

Yeah, buy you're stupid.

Uhhh, read that sentence aloud Albob and then tell me who the stupid one is.

**tucker01** · 10-25-2004, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

Maybe we could send all of our unemployable people to Canada ...

Only if there Hot 19 - 25 yo chicks. Then I can find some Jobs for them

**ALBOB** · 10-25-2004, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

Uhhh, read that sentence aloud Albob and then tell me who the stupid one is.

You.

**BoneCrusher** · 10-25-2004, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

Only if there Hot 19 - 25 yo chicks. Then I can find some Jobs for them

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

Only if there Hot 19 - 25 yo chicks. Then I can find some Jobs for them

Iain these

are not the people we are gonna send ya ...

it'l be more like these ...

**MaxMirkin** · 10-25-2004, 02:16 PM

**redspy** · 10-25-2004, 02:19 PM

"We are tired of the one-way highway"

American foreign policy is self serving and always has been. Let's not pretend we're out there making the world a better place for everyone but ourselves.

Let's look at recent history and ask ourselves who put Bin Laden into business - yes it was the CIA. Who supported and armed despot states like Iran and Iraq - yes, good old Uncle Sam. Who fucked up central America? Yes, you guessed it. Who supports nations with gross human rights violations like China, Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan and others? Get the picture?

**Old Lifter** · 10-25-2004, 06:57 PM

Addendum to the speech would be: I am now enacting a law that repeals all the laws pertaining to the citizens rights to consume anything they like in the pursuit of happiness. In Fact no prescriptions will be needed for meds of any kind, stupidity eliminates itself good night....

**Chain Link** · 10-25-2004, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

it'l be more like these ...

We're sending Fidel Castro to Canada?? So'k with me, as long as we get Cuba County, Florida back.

**LazyByNature** · 10-26-2004, 07:18 AM

Originally Posted by redspy

"We are tired of the one-way highway"

American foreign policy is self serving and always has been. Let's not pretend we're out there making the world a better place for everyone but ourselves.

Let's look at recent history and ask ourselves who put Bin Laden into business - yes it was the CIA. Who supported and armed despot states like Iran and Iraq - yes, good old Uncle Sam. Who fucked up central America? Yes, you guessed it. Who supports nations with gross human rights violations like China, Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan and others? Get the picture?

Um... A country's foreign policy is supposed to be self serving. Otherwise it would be called the world's policy. I would rather destory every other country out there than open the US up to danger. Yes, that is very selfish.

But think about it, would you kill a stranger to stop him from hurting your family? Would you kill your father to stop him from hurting your son/daughter? Expand that out from immediate family, to extented family, to friends, to community, to country, to world. I, personally, would defend those closest to me against those not-as-close everyday of the week.

As for your thoughts about America's recent history and putting bad people/regimes into power, I would befriend to biggest SOB in the world if I know he/she would help protect the people I cared about. If I would have to take him out later, so be it. Have you ever had a good friend that just changed one day? Suppose you introduce a buddy to a girl you know and they get married. A few years later he cheats on her and they get a divorce. Do you want people thinking that you are a cheating jack-ass because you vouched for that guy and he wound up being a jack-ass?

**Randy** · 10-28-2004, 01:19 AM

http://www.frontsteps.com/creations/...p?t=1098911012

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