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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "I do believe Saddam Hussein was a threat. I always believed he was a threat. Believed it in 1998 when Clinton was president. I wanted to give Clinton the power to use force if necessary. But I would have used that force wisely, I would have used that authority wisely, not rushed to war without a plan to win the peace."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "As President, I'll pardon Saddam Hussein, then stand idly by while he murders your babies and kitty cats and puppy dogs."

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "There's chaos in Iraq. King Abdullah of Jordan said just yesterday you can't hold elections in Iraq with the chaos that's going on today. Senator Richard Lugar, the Republican chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, said that the handling of the reconstruction aid in Iraq by this administration has been incompetent. Those are the Republican chairman's words."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "I hate America."

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "Our National Guard and reserves have been turned into almost active duty. You've got people doing two and three rotations. You've got stop-loss policies, so people can't get out when they were supposed to. You've got a back-door draft right now."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "U.S. soldiers are war criminals who deserve Muslamian beheadings."

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "Four years ago, right here in this forum, President Bush was asked the same question: 'Can't people be able to import drugs from Canada?' You know what he said? He said, 'I think that makes sense. I think that's a good idea' -- four years ago."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "I'll pay for Medicare by feeding poison to old people."

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "Health care premiums are going up. You've gone up, in Missouri, about $3,500. You've gone up 64 percent. You've seen co-pays go up, deductibles go up. Everything's gone up. Five million people have lost their health insurance under this president. He's done nothing about it. I have a plan. I have a plan to lower the cost of health care for you."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "I'll waste so much time thinking about sick folks, the terrorists will kill everyone who's healthy!"

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "The president was handed a $5.6 trillion surplus, ladies and gentlemen. That's where he was when he came into office. We now have a $2.6 trillion deficit. This is the biggest turnaround in the history of the country. He's the first president in 72 years to lose jobs."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "I am a total math dorkus who would be no fun to sit down and swill brew-ha-has with."

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "One percent of America, the highest one percent of income earners in America, got $89 billion of tax cut last year. One percent of America got more than the 80 percent of America that earned from $100,000 down. The president thinks it's more important to fight for that top 1 percent than to fight for fiscal responsibility and to fight for you."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "If you make less than $200,000, I will legally categorize you as 'no different than a welfare-collecting crack whore.'"

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "Ladies and gentlemen, in 1985, I was one of the first Democrats to move to balance the budget. I voted for the balanced budget in '93 and '97. We did it. We did it. And I was there."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "I am so anal, I will make it a felony to not balance your checkbook every month."

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "The president's 'Clear Skies' bill that he just talked about, it's one of those Orwellian names you pull out of the sky, slap it onto something, like 'No Child Left Behind' but you leave millions of children behind. Here they're leaving the skies and the environment behind."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "I can namedrop the author of some pinko subversive novel, but I can't tell you won in last night's tractor-pulling semi-finals."

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WHAT JOHN KERRY SAID: "I believe America's best days are ahead of us. I'm an optimist, but we have to make the right choices, to be fiscally responsible and to create the new jobs of the future. We can do this. And I ask you for the privilege of leading our nation to be stronger at home and respected again in the world."
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS: "I not only look French, I speak it too."

1-Andro Rx Pro-hormone

MaxMirkin

So I'm not the only one who's been having thoughts along these lines.

The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.