Thread: Making the book: Book I - The man with the peanut butter bottle in the hotel room

"bump into a tall, beautiful red haired woman with amazing curves and beautiful breasts. Boy was she hot. I mean damn, like holy shit man this chick is smoking. I mean the only thing that had dropped lower than my jaw was my pants. Hot diggity damn. The very second our bodies pressed this incredible surge of energy passed through the most tender parts of our bodies. I was ready to marry her al-freaking-ready. Like I'm not gay or anything but if it took a 50 man buttfucking to get 5 minutes with this chick I'd do it. Ok so I'm not a stalker or any weird shit like that but if I had to dig through this chicks trash just to masterbate to the food she threw out I'd be all over that banana peel. Ok now I'm not like a necrophiliac or anything... well, I think you get the point.

Then she spoke to me. In the most seductive voice, she said these enticing words slowly, one-by-one, licking her thick luscious lips. She said..."

dale mabry

New rules, anyone that wants to write the next paragraphs just need to call for it. 'I´m on it or I´m doing it" anything to claim for it. Let´s get the story moving.

Then she spoke to me. In the most seductive voice, she said these enticing words slowly, one-by-one, licking her thick luscious lips. She said..."



"Hi, I'm Dale. Do you know where the Transvestites of the World Unite conference is?"

So I said in my most sexiest voice..."As a matter a fact I do,It's right this way"
As i led her back to my apartment,she told me of how hungry she was from skipping meals,as we entered my apartment,her eyes grew big when she saw the Peanut Butter Bottle.She looked at me and said....

and said...."Are those your nuts??!!"

"And right about then it hit me....I'm stuck in a horribly written piece of gay porn! So I quickly kicked the he-bitch out of my apartment, and went looking for less....penised company. Having gone only a few blocks, I noticed that things were getting a bit weird around me. The sun kept changing colors, people kept floating randomly along the street. 'Was that really peanut butter in that bottle? Or did I accidentally swallow a whole shitload of....'"

"my famous paste of PCP, mushroom and lsd. Damn, I was kind of high, so high that I still wondered that I should go back to my apartment, then again she was Dale so I kept moving. After talking to the pink elephant and the flying alien eating hot dogs I found the direction to the street that was right in front of me. When I got there I found a yellow.."

...SHIT! I screamed as the Peanut Butter Bottle smashed my pinky toe. For some unknown reason it was covered in vasoline and handling it was impossible. As I stooped to rub my sore toe I noticed my toe nails had been painted with symbols, upon further examination I saw ...

Did the story split into two diverging ones?

Originally Posted by MaxMirkin

Did the story split into two diverging ones?

Peanut butter effect. Someone needs to fix it.

Originally Posted by Vieope

"my famous paste of PCP, mushroom and lsd.

ahahahaha I love this. I vote for this path

upon further examination I saw ...

When I got there I found a yellow.."

I saw a yellow reflection of myself. Not really sure what happened in the past 5 minutes, I began to think that my personalities split in half...

"but luckily my boobs were still in place, so I fondled them for the next half an hour..."

"but luckily my boobs were still in place, so I fondled them for the next half an hour..."

you have boobs?

he has a pair he keeps in his back pocket just for emergency use

as I realised what I was doing, my bra ripped off and lended on an old lady walking pass me.
"Oh dear, you should be careful, this thing is a weapon!," the old lady said...

"the old lady said with a sexy and trembling voice: "I´m ALBOB you fool. Have you seen Dale?" This was starting to get more stange so I went back to self-boob touching. "

After my self boob touching session went on,I started getting the munchies,So I walked down to the corner store and got some chocolate,and what goes best wid choclate...Peanut Butter...I got a bottle of that at my apartment,So I head back home and when I opened the door I .......

"tripped over my gigantic wiener and fell, but luckily landed on my oversized, beachball-like boobs. Truly the life of a hermaphrodite is hard, but not as hard as....

... that of a eunuch. My friend Redspy had his package remove to protest the molestation of war prisoners and now must piss trough a straw to keep from wetting himself. I switch on the radio and look for a good station, as I eat my chocolate-peanutbutter goowich, I hear ...

Gunshots!!! rang out like a bell
I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene you know what I mean
They passed me up confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while......

"Shooot, DAWG! Vanilla Ice!!! He's my shiznit!" I break out the running man and roger rabbit, the cabbage patch, and the MC Hammer dances, when suddenly...