Thread: The Male Sensativity Test

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.


2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.


3. You carefully pace yourself to time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.


4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out
about.


5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

A. The very best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.


6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last
month.

You tell her that it is:

A. Of no consequence to how you love her and your affectionate
feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym if she'd like to.
C. A very conservative estimate.


7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. An important model to strive for
B. A myth or an oxymoron.
C. A moron.


8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.


9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
saying at the end of a relationship?

A. "This time together has been meaningful for me. I hope we can
still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU."


10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Probably needs a little more time, understanding, and gentle
encouragement before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating Results:

* If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check inside your pants to be sure you ARE a man.

* If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy.

* If you answered "C" more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!

#132. Only date men who are walking into (but not out of) a therapist's office.