Have you ever killed something?

GoalGetter · 11-10-2004, 06:43 AM

sad but funny, and true.

Some ass hat dropped a loaf of bread in the middle of a busy intersection. The very same intersection where I make a left turn to get into the parking lot at work.

Where there is bread, there are pigeons.

Upon my approach to the intersection, most of the pigeons said to themselves, "Pigeon, you can come back after that car makes its left turn and eat your fill." They flew away, to the grassy median a few feet from the bread loaf.

One fat, gluttony pigeon just couldn't stop eating. He was either too busy eating to see my car, or just didn't care and thought, "Oh good! More for me! I'm gonna die happy."

All the pigeons had flown away, with plenty of time for me to not have to slow down and make my turn. Except that ONE. I was confident this last one would too, so I didn't really slow down until it was... too late.

I killed the gluttony pigeon.

And I sat in my car, a few feet from the parking lot, with feathers on my front wheel. And I cried. And then I thought, "But we had a deal!" Remembering that Seinfeld episode. Then I started laughing, which made me cry more because I felt horrible that I had killed another living being.

I got over it eventually, but to this day I farking hate the dumbass who dropped that loaf of bread in the intersection, wherever he or she may be today. That is the REAL killer.

Var · 11-10-2004, 07:25 AM

Whitetail deer, fish, small game...shot a pheasant this past weekend!

MaxMirkin · 11-10-2004, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Var

Whitetail deer, fish, small game...shot a pheasant this past weekend!

I like shooting peasants too!

dschneid · 11-10-2004, 09:34 AM

Killed a rat today

cappo5150 · 11-10-2004, 01:02 PM

When I was about 11, one summer I was living out in the boondocks, I borrowed my brothers bb gun and killed about 100 lizards that summer. Also two of my rats male and female escaped and had a shit load of babies in my back yard. I invited my friends over and had a contest of who can get "rid" of the most rats. They were all eliminated. Thats all I've killed, wont kill anything ever again besides insects.

Randy · 11-10-2004, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoalGetter

Some ass hat dropped a loaf

Hmmmm

Only in America!

maniclion · 11-10-2004, 01:52 PM

Rabid raccoon, some squirrels that kept chewing the phone lines, countless water moccasins(a snapping turtle I mistook for one) , a 6 ft timber rattler, a few chickenhawks (not the ones in DC now), and a vicious rooster named Foghorn Leghorn (had a dog named Clyde too).

I raised 2 baby possums my father found abandoned they have some sharp ass teeth. I nursed a few birds back to health that fell out of their nests, used to feed a few stray cats that eventually became our, now I have 7 dog's and a cat.

Randy · 11-10-2004, 01:56 PM

I try to feed a possum from time to time. He usually makes a point to walk the length of my backyard fence each evening. When I see him, I stick a piece of bologna on the end of a long stick (like heating marshmellows) and extend the meat toward him. Usually the SOB just hisses at me and shows his sharp mean looking teeth.. So then I back off. But at least I try to be nice to him.

Little Wing · 11-11-2004, 11:49 AM

on one of the animal cops shows they said possums are really vicious.

OceanDude · 11-11-2004, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

on one of the animal cops shows they said possums are really vicious.

They can be. I trapped many of them to relocate them off my property. This is why I had to shoot some because I was afraid to handle them. They have what looks like hundreds of sharp needle like teeth and rat face. They like to "hiss" at you too. Basically I figured out that they like to bluff and will literally "play possum" and roll over like they are dead when cornered. If you get bit or scratched its not worth the risk of getting rabies so its best to leave them alone. The experts use massive thick full arm gloves and or noose sticks that they can extend 5-6 feet. If you are careful you can tarp them and just leave them in the cage and walk the whole cage to a new site (extended away from your body) and then tip them to the back as you open the door and drop it and get back.

OD

Vieope · 10-22-2005, 08:08 AM

bump

It is crime threads week at IM.

01warrior · 10-22-2005, 09:09 AM

well since i live in upstae ny its all country farms and shit ever wheres ive killed lots of things thats all we do around here huntin and fishing , killed lots of birds , ran skunks over shot skunks , ran over pheasents ran over coyotoes racoons ive only hit 1 deer lucky for him i was going slow and it jus flew rown the road on its back and got up ran like hell , ive killed lots of fish and frogs sticking fire crackers down there mouth watching them blow up

DOMS · 10-22-2005, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoalGetter

sad but funny, and true.

Some ass hat dropped a loaf of bread in the middle of a busy intersection. The very same intersection where I make a left turn to get into the parking lot at work.

Where there is bread, there are pigeons.

Upon my approach to the intersection, most of the pigeons said to themselves, "Pigeon, you can come back after that car makes its left turn and eat your fill." They flew away, to the grassy median a few feet from the bread loaf.

One fat, gluttony pigeon just couldn't stop eating. He was either too busy eating to see my car, or just didn't care and thought, "Oh good! More for me! I'm gonna die happy."

All the pigeons had flown away, with plenty of time for me to not have to slow down and make my turn. Except that ONE. I was confident this last one would too, so I didn't really slow down until it was... too late.

I killed the gluttony pigeon.

And I sat in my car, a few feet from the parking lot, with feathers on my front wheel. And I cried. And then I thought, "But we had a deal!" Remembering that Seinfeld episode. Then I started laughing, which made me cry more because I felt horrible that I had killed another living being.

I got over it eventually, but to this day I farking hate the dumbass who dropped that loaf of bread in the intersection, wherever he or she may be today. That is the REAL killer.

min0 lee · 10-22-2005, 12:23 PM

I would like to impale a Rabbit with my love dagger................

Chain Link · 10-22-2005, 01:40 PM

I pwned MM | Smurf once, does that count?

Edit: with a knife!

BigDyl · 10-22-2005, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 01warrior

well since i live in upstae ny its all country farms and shit ever wheres ive killed lots of things thats all we do around here huntin and fishing , killed lots of birds , ran skunks over shot skunks , ran over pheasents ran over coyotoes racoons ive only hit 1 deer lucky for him i was going slow and it jus flew rown the road on its back and got up ran like hell , ive killed lots of fish and frogs sticking fire crackers down there mouth watching them blow up

hmmm... I wonder what you will be reincarnated as..

min0 lee · 10-22-2005, 06:13 PM

I'll kill anyone who hurts BigDyl..............

TJ Cline · 10-22-2005, 06:53 PM

I killed min0 lee's sex drive

Platinum · 10-22-2005, 07:36 PM

Go me. I'm in Foreman's sig. Woo hoo. I killed a kangaroo once. My dogs mauled the shit out of it and it was squirming around so I thought I'd put it out of it's misery. I whacked its neck with an axe, but it was a shitty aimed swing I only nicked it a little. It made this sickening choking sound and spasmed. I whacked it a few more times and job done.

Chain Link · 10-22-2005, 08:25 PM

I killed one of my neighbor's dogs after they mauled my kangaroo

BigDyl · 10-22-2005, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chain Link

I killed one of my neighbor's dogs after they mauled my kangaroo

You bastard!

Tough Old Man · 10-22-2005, 08:48 PM

Yes I have. Last week I stepped on a ladybug. I went in and told my wife. We both cried for several hours. I still feel bad about it a week later

gococksDJS · 10-23-2005, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tough Old Man

Yes I have. Last week I stepped on a ladybug. I went in and told my wife. We both cried for several hours. I still feel bad about it a week later

That was my mom tough. She had 3 spots didn't she?

aceshigh · 10-23-2005, 02:35 AM

ok heres a list of things i have killed
birds
kangaroos
goats
sheep
spiders
mice
rats
emu
cow
cat
fish
sharks
crabs lobsters shell fish
stingrays
lizards
snakes
thats about it really never killed a dog and never intend too,,,,and never killed a human.......lol
rabbits
fox
just remembered them

Tough Old Man · 10-23-2005, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gococksDJS

That was my mom tough. She had 3 spots didn't she?

Yes, yes, yes it did have three spots. Oh no I killed a friends mother.

TJ Cline · 10-23-2005, 09:59 AM

The Monkey Man · 10-24-2005, 08:21 AM

Why are you asking -

View Poll Results: Have you killed before?
No, never	3	4.69%
I kill spiders	10	15.63%
I have killed a few things in my day	33	51.56%
I am a mass fuckin murderer	18	28.13%
Voters: 64. You may not vote on this poll

11-10-2004, 07:25 AM	#32
Var Filthy Animal Join Date: May 2002 Location: Finally back in New England!! Posts: 5,438	Whitetail deer, fish, small game...shot a pheasant this past weekend!
	But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you. -N. Machiavelli

11-10-2004, 09:34 AM	#34
dschneid Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Bergen, Norway Posts: 190	Killed a rat today
	We don't know if there's a Heaven on earth, but there is a Hell, it's a city in Norway

11-10-2004, 01:56 PM	#38
Randy Woof! Woof! Woof! Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: California Posts: 7,859 Photos: 4	I try to feed a possum from time to time. He usually makes a point to walk the length of my backyard fence each evening. When I see him, I stick a piece of bologna on the end of a long stick (like heating marshmellows) and extend the meat toward him. Usually the SOB just hisses at me and shows his sharp mean looking teeth.. So then I back off. But at least I try to be nice to him.
	- O F F I C I A L . L I N K . M A S T E R - Maintains a Reference to all Gopros P/RR/S Links Gopros latest routines: CLICK HERE Lift like a Chicken Look Like a Chicken

10-22-2005, 08:08 AM	#41
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,830 Photos: 10	bump It is crime threads week at IM.
	FURtherness

11-10-2004, 06:43 AM	#31
GoalGetter is still around... Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Arizona Posts: 6,097	sad but funny, and true. Some ass hat dropped a loaf of bread in the middle of a busy intersection. The very same intersection where I make a left turn to get into the parking lot at work. Where there is bread, there are pigeons. Upon my approach to the intersection, most of the pigeons said to themselves, "Pigeon, you can come back after that car makes its left turn and eat your fill." They flew away, to the grassy median a few feet from the bread loaf. One fat, gluttony pigeon just couldn't stop eating. He was either too busy eating to see my car, or just didn't care and thought, "Oh good! More for me! I'm gonna die happy." All the pigeons had flown away, with plenty of time for me to not have to slow down and make my turn. Except that ONE. I was confident this last one would too, so I didn't really slow down until it was... too late. I killed the gluttony pigeon. And I sat in my car, a few feet from the parking lot, with feathers on my front wheel. And I cried. And then I thought, "But we had a deal!" Remembering that Seinfeld episode. Then I started laughing, which made me cry more because I felt horrible that I had killed another living being. I got over it eventually, but to this day I farking hate the dumbass who dropped that loaf of bread in the intersection, wherever he or she may be today. That is the REAL killer.

11-10-2004, 01:02 PM	#35
cappo5150 Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Venice, CA Posts: 2,318 Photos: 1	When I was about 11, one summer I was living out in the boondocks, I borrowed my brothers bb gun and killed about 100 lizards that summer. Also two of my rats male and female escaped and had a shit load of babies in my back yard. I invited my friends over and had a contest of who can get "rid" of the most rats. They were all eliminated. Thats all I've killed, wont kill anything ever again besides insects.

11-10-2004, 01:52 PM	#37
maniclion Catalyst Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Hawaii, selling munitions for the war on EcoTerror Posts: 17,911 Photos: 10	Rabid raccoon, some squirrels that kept chewing the phone lines, countless water moccasins(a snapping turtle I mistook for one) , a 6 ft timber rattler, a few chickenhawks (not the ones in DC now), and a vicious rooster named Foghorn Leghorn (had a dog named Clyde too). I raised 2 baby possums my father found abandoned they have some sharp ass teeth. I nursed a few birds back to health that fell out of their nests, used to feed a few stray cats that eventually became our, now I have 7 dog's and a cat.

11-11-2004, 11:49 AM	#39
Little Wing SEMPER~FIDELIS Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: United States Posts: 21,330 Blog Entries: 1 Photos: 191	on one of the animal cops shows they said possums are really vicious.

10-22-2005, 09:09 AM	#42
01warrior Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: upstate ny Posts: 89	well since i live in upstae ny its all country farms and shit ever wheres ive killed lots of things thats all we do around here huntin and fishing , killed lots of birds , ran skunks over shot skunks , ran over pheasents ran over coyotoes racoons ive only hit 1 deer lucky for him i was going slow and it jus flew rown the road on its back and got up ran like hell , ive killed lots of fish and frogs sticking fire crackers down there mouth watching them blow up

10-22-2005, 12:23 PM	#44
min0 lee I See© Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 32,746 Blog Entries: 3 Photos: 542	I would like to impale a Rabbit with my love dagger................
	How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper BONECRUSHER '08

10-22-2005, 01:40 PM	#45
Chain Link Cyber Athlete Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Clearwater, Fl Posts: 1,484	I pwned MM \| Smurf once, does that count? Edit: with a knife!

10-22-2005, 06:13 PM	#47
min0 lee I See© Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 32,746 Blog Entries: 3 Photos: 542	I'll kill anyone who hurts BigDyl..............
	How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper BONECRUSHER '08

10-22-2005, 06:53 PM	#48
TJ Cline Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,544	I killed min0 lee's sex drive
TJ Cline Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,544

10-22-2005, 07:36 PM	#49
Platinum Resident Stoner Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 2,244	Go me. I'm in Foreman's sig. Woo hoo. I killed a kangaroo once. My dogs mauled the shit out of it and it was squirming around so I thought I'd put it out of it's misery. I whacked its neck with an axe, but it was a shitty aimed swing I only nicked it a little. It made this sickening choking sound and spasmed. I whacked it a few more times and job done.

10-22-2005, 08:25 PM	#50
Chain Link Cyber Athlete Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Clearwater, Fl Posts: 1,484	I killed one of my neighbor's dogs after they mauled my kangaroo

10-22-2005, 08:48 PM	#52
Tough Old Man Canine club CEO Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: baja calif, Mexico Posts: 6,933 Photos: 1	Yes I have. Last week I stepped on a ladybug. I went in and told my wife. We both cried for several hours. I still feel bad about it a week later

10-23-2005, 02:35 AM	#54
aceshigh Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,822	ok heres a list of things i have killed birds kangaroos goats sheep spiders mice rats emu cow cat fish sharks crabs lobsters shell fish stingrays lizards snakes thats about it really never killed a dog and never intend too,,,,and never killed a human.......lol rabbits fox just remembered them
aceshigh Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,822

10-23-2005, 09:59 AM	#56
TJ Cline Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,544
TJ Cline Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,544

10-24-2005, 08:21 AM	#57
The Monkey Man Magical Apelikemenace Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New Delhi, India Posts: 13,650 Photos: 34	Why are you asking -