I'm enraged- can someone help me come to terms with this?

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:11 PM

this thread is part venting/ranting, and part asking for advice:

tit gave me a shock today by asking if her friend can move in with us because she needs a place to stay. Ultimately I have the final vote on whether or not this takes place, but I think this is just inviting bad news

I'm trying to keep an open mind and trying to remain calm (I realize no harm's been done yet from them asking me) but inside I'm still steaming with anger. And I fear that my anger might be clouding my judgement, so can someone tell me whether this is as bad as I feel it would be? Anyone have experiences doing this kind of favor for someone? I feel like whenever you do a favor like this for someone you're just asking for trouble for instance when they can't pay you one month- WE'RE on the lease so when she can't pay we're the ones that get fucked not her. Or when we need a favor some day and she doesn't do it, even though we did this for her. Know what I mean? It just seems like it's tricky business.

Not to mention these cons:
1. We only have to pay HALF the rent between the TWO of us, her friend would pay the other HALF. However, according to their arrangements we're still paying for ALL of the utilities and an added person means added water/power bills. She would be leaching off our Cable/Internet bill.

2. We have 2 birds, one I never wanted to begin with (tit keeps bringing all these animals in- a chinchilla, then sun conure, then a rat, then another rat, and now a FRIEND) and we would have to convert our bird room into her room. The birds having a room means I can put them to bed at 7 so they wouldn't squak all night and the next day when they're without sleep. Now they no longer have that room, and I've lived with them before without a place to put them before and it's HELL. Not to mention her friend would bring in a dog (which if we got caught with we'd have to pay $200 + 25 each month) and a sugar glider. This house will have shit, fleas, and smell everywhere.

3. Her friend smokes pot. Now she has agreed not to smoke anything in the house (including cigarettes- although a smoker will still make the house smell), but again, we're just asking for trouble. A cop lives in the building right across from our own.

4. I think it can put a burden on their relationship. My rule with doing favors for friends has always been I will do it for you but expect nothing in return or I won't do it at all. This way there's no rough road between you. But when it's this big You can't expect nothing in return! There are too many risks, too much money involved, and too much at stake.

5. Having to wear pants in the house.

So am I being picky? Should I just give in- I'll get used to the change in lifestyle? How much of this is just rage and how much is rational? Thanks.

BritChick · 11-12-2004, 08:14 PM

DON'T DO IT!
I'm an anti-social bastard, not really... but I do like my own space and privacy, this just wouldn't fly with me.

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:15 PM

that's exactly how I feel too. I like people and spending time with them, but I need my privacy above all else.

Did I mention that if I agree to this she's moving in THIS WEEKEND? What the fuck is thAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:16 PM

not to mention there's no promise of a threesome any time either, not that I'd want it with this chick anyway

Vieope · 11-12-2004, 08:17 PM

I guess she is not hot? Don´t do it.

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vieope

I guess she is not hot? Don´t do it.

eh... a little crabby

BritChick · 11-12-2004, 08:18 PM

LOL! I hear where you are coming from totally!!!
I think you should say no, without getting hot, just explain that you really don't feel comfortable with it and don't be made to feel guilty... good luck!

PreMier · 11-12-2004, 08:20 PM

I have let my friend move in with me before.. but it wa MY friend. I also didnt expect anything in return, because he needed a place to stay, so I really couldnt get screwed.

Its not your friend, so I wouldnt do it. Unless you liek 3 somes?

(edit.. fuck I post slow..)

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:20 PM

lemme put it this way: I wouldn't pee on her

Vieope · 11-12-2004, 08:20 PM

Do you know her?

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:23 PM

I know her a little bit. Honestly there's always been a little bit of an awkwardness around each other, but nothing tangable. I don't mind her really but she's really not Tit's or my kind of person. Now I say that but I can't really back it up, I've had friends of all caliburs, but most of them I couldn't imagine living with.

I mean you can get sick of people, especially if you're paying most of her damn bills.

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vieope

Do you know her?

i think I answered your question here

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

lemme put it this way: I wouldn't pee on her

Vieope · 11-12-2004, 08:24 PM

For how long?

PreMier · 11-12-2004, 08:25 PM

Fuck her, let her rot.

Vieope · 11-12-2004, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

lemme put it this way: I wouldn't pee on her

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:27 PM

We have known her for about 2-3 months.

Vieope · 11-12-2004, 08:29 PM

For how long she would be at your place?

BritChick · 11-12-2004, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vieope

For how long she would be at your place?

By the sounds of things any length of time would be TOO long!

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:31 PM

I asked that same thing. They don't have an answer which is as bad as saying FOREVER

BoneCrusher · 11-12-2004, 08:34 PM

I am a very private person too Chrono ... and I HATE not having that privacy at my whim when I need it. If You knew in your heart what you wanted to do before you asked anyone here ... go with it. Ask TIT why ... if she knows you and your ways ... why she put this mind fuck on you in the first place. Not trying to start shit bro because she may really have a solid reason you should consider before you give your heart felt response of NOOOOO.

There is also that whole karma thing to look at too. I have found time and time again that we get from this world what we put out into it. We all swim in the same pond and sometimes need to help keep each other afloat. Is this an all or none deal? What if she surfs your couch for a week and moves on to another place for a bit. Let her share her company with others till she gets back on her feet.

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:34 PM

It's funny. Today I was watching Home Improvement and on this very episode Tim leased a building to Al and it got so technical- friend against friend- that they ended up saying they wouldn't do it because it was hurting their relationship. I feel the same thing would happen here. It seems innocent enough but it can cause harm.

My brother had a garage that he wasn't using so he let his friend use it to park his motorcycle. One day he crashed his motorcycle into the garage and wiped out the wall and obviously my brother was held responcible for the garage and it ruined their relationship.

I feel the same thing would happen here.

Vieope · 11-12-2004, 08:35 PM

I love Tim and Al

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

There is also that whole karma thing to look at too. I have found time and time again that we get from this world what we out out into it. We all swim in the same pond and sometimes need to help keep each other afloat. Is this an all or none deal? What if she surfs your couch for a week and moves on to another place for a bit. Let her share her company with others till she gets back on her feet.

thanks bonecrusher. That's exactly the kind of advice I need, especially in the state I'm in. I think finding alternatives like this is an excellent way to look at it. This way I'll keep tit on a clean slate even if I end up being the bad guy here.

Vieope · 11-12-2004, 08:39 PM

Let her move in, if you don´t like her in the first week. Start walking around naked.

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:41 PM

oh I forgot to mention this. The girl is also tit's manager at work. I don't want to cause friction between them and put tit's job in jeapardy.

BoneCrusher · 11-12-2004, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The ever funny V

Let her move in, if you don´t like her in the first week. Start walking around naked.

Crono1000 · 11-12-2004, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

5. Having to wear pants in the house.

yes number 5 would be the biggest adjustment for me

OceanDude · 11-12-2004, 08:42 PM

Uhm Crono - you need to face the truth. Tit is bi...
That's cause to celebrate.

OD

BoneCrusher · 11-12-2004, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

oh I forgot to mention this. The girl is also tit's manager at work. I don't want to cause friction between them and p

11-12-2004, 08:11 PM	#1
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,770 Photos: 11	I'm enraged- can someone help me come to terms with this? this thread is part venting/ranting, and part asking for advice: tit gave me a shock today by asking if her friend can move in with us because she needs a place to stay. Ultimately I have the final vote on whether or not this takes place, but I think this is just inviting bad news I'm trying to keep an open mind and trying to remain calm (I realize no harm's been done yet from them asking me) but inside I'm still steaming with anger. And I fear that my anger might be clouding my judgement, so can someone tell me whether this is as bad as I feel it would be? Anyone have experiences doing this kind of favor for someone? I feel like whenever you do a favor like this for someone you're just asking for trouble for instance when they can't pay you one month- WE'RE on the lease so when she can't pay we're the ones that get fucked not her. Or when we need a favor some day and she doesn't do it, even though we did this for her. Know what I mean? It just seems like it's tricky business. Not to mention these cons: 1. We only have to pay HALF the rent between the TWO of us, her friend would pay the other HALF. However, according to their arrangements we're still paying for ALL of the utilities and an added person means added water/power bills. She would be leaching off our Cable/Internet bill. 2. We have 2 birds, one I never wanted to begin with (tit keeps bringing all these animals in- a chinchilla, then sun conure, then a rat, then another rat, and now a FRIEND) and we would have to convert our bird room into her room. The birds having a room means I can put them to bed at 7 so they wouldn't squak all night and the next day when they're without sleep. Now they no longer have that room, and I've lived with them before without a place to put them before and it's HELL. Not to mention her friend would bring in a dog (which if we got caught with we'd have to pay $200 + 25 each month) and a sugar glider. This house will have shit, fleas, and smell everywhere. 3. Her friend smokes pot. Now she has agreed not to smoke anything in the house (including cigarettes- although a smoker will still make the house smell), but again, we're just asking for trouble. A cop lives in the building right across from our own. 4. I think it can put a burden on their relationship. My rule with doing favors for friends has always been I will do it for you but expect nothing in return or I won't do it at all. This way there's no rough road between you. But when it's this big You can't expect nothing in return! There are too many risks, too much money involved, and too much at stake. 5. Having to wear pants in the house. So am I being picky? Should I just give in- I'll get used to the change in lifestyle? How much of this is just rage and how much is rational? Thanks.

11-12-2004, 08:17 PM	#5
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,826 Photos: 10	I guess she is not hot? Don´t do it.
	FURtherness

11-12-2004, 08:20 PM	#8
PreMier happy sumo Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 21,083 Photos: 2	I have let my friend move in with me before.. but it wa MY friend. I also didnt expect anything in return, because he needed a place to stay, so I really couldnt get screwed. Its not your friend, so I wouldnt do it. Unless you liek 3 somes? (edit.. fuck I post slow..)
	P-side Inc. "the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

11-12-2004, 08:20 PM	#10
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,826 Photos: 10	Do you know her?
	FURtherness

11-12-2004, 08:24 PM	#13
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,826 Photos: 10	For how long?
	FURtherness

11-12-2004, 08:14 PM	#2
BritChick Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: BC Canada Posts: 5,449 Photos: 7	DON'T DO IT! I'm an anti-social bastard, not really... but I do like my own space and privacy, this just wouldn't fly with me.

11-12-2004, 08:15 PM	#3
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,770 Photos: 11	that's exactly how I feel too. I like people and spending time with them, but I need my privacy above all else. Did I mention that if I agree to this she's moving in THIS WEEKEND? What the fuck is thAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

11-12-2004, 08:16 PM	#4
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,770 Photos: 11	not to mention there's no promise of a threesome any time either, not that I'd want it with this chick anyway

11-12-2004, 08:18 PM	#7
BritChick Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: BC Canada Posts: 5,449 Photos: 7	LOL! I hear where you are coming from totally!!! I think you should say no, without getting hot, just explain that you really don't feel comfortable with it and don't be made to feel guilty... good luck!

11-12-2004, 08:23 PM	#11
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,770 Photos: 11	I know her a little bit. Honestly there's always been a little bit of an awkwardness around each other, but nothing tangable. I don't mind her really but she's really not Tit's or my kind of person. Now I say that but I can't really back it up, I've had friends of all caliburs, but most of them I couldn't imagine living with. I mean you can get sick of people, especially if you're paying most of her damn bills.

11-12-2004, 08:25 PM	#14
PreMier happy sumo Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 21,083 Photos: 2	Fuck her, let her rot.
	P-side Inc. "the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

11-12-2004, 08:27 PM	#16
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,770 Photos: 11	We have known her for about 2-3 months.

11-12-2004, 08:29 PM	#17
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,826 Photos: 10	For how long she would be at your place?
	FURtherness

11-12-2004, 08:31 PM	#19
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,770 Photos: 11	I asked that same thing. They don't have an answer which is as bad as saying FOREVER

11-12-2004, 08:34 PM	#20
BoneCrusher Lift or Die Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,545	I am a very private person too Chrono ... and I HATE not having that privacy at my whim when I need it. If You knew in your heart what you wanted to do before you asked anyone here ... go with it. Ask TIT why ... if she knows you and your ways ... why she put this mind fuck on you in the first place. Not trying to start shit bro because she may really have a solid reason you should consider before you give your heart felt response of NOOOOO. There is also that whole karma thing to look at too. I have found time and time again that we get from this world what we put out into it. We all swim in the same pond and sometimes need to help keep each other afloat. Is this an all or none deal? What if she surfs your couch for a week and moves on to another place for a bit. Let her share her company with others till she gets back on her feet.

11-12-2004, 08:35 PM	#22
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,826 Photos: 10	I love Tim and Al
	FURtherness

11-12-2004, 08:39 PM	#24
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,826 Photos: 10	Let her move in, if you don´t like her in the first week. Start walking around naked.
	FURtherness

11-12-2004, 08:41 PM	#25
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,770 Photos: 11	oh I forgot to mention this. The girl is also tit's manager at work. I don't want to cause friction between them and put tit's job in jeapardy.

11-12-2004, 08:42 PM	#28
OceanDude Well Read Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Cape Canaveral, FL Posts: 1,853	Uhm Crono - you need to face the truth. Tit is bi... That's cause to celebrate. OD
	"Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..." Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae. We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems. The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth. His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...