Thread: Drinking Stories

I hurled all over my bedroom floor the first time I got drunk....

I was in the 7th grade at a friends house, didn't know they would have booze....so I had lots...along with peanuts.

Mom came to pick me up, kept asking me what was wrong...I swore nothing..later that night...was not good. Puked on the bed and floor, Mom made me sleep in it and then clean it all up the next day.

Needless to say....I didn't drink again til my senior year in high school.

First time I got drunk, I was 16 sleeping at a buddy's house. He had his room in the basement & i slept on the floor & my feet were near his bed.

About an hour after I fell asleep, I hear him moaning. No lights were on, but then I heard the splash & felt it on my feet. I knew it even before i saw it...

Anyway, being drunk myself & afraid of being caught, I tried to fake cough to try and drown out the sound of him puking. This went on for over a minute, until his mom finally came down worried because I was coughing so much.

BUSTED.

I was 6 or 7, my Dad was having one of his "feasts" and all of his friends and their families were b-b-qing, drinking and listening to loud music, us kid's were running around horseplaying and working up a thirst. I ask my dad for a drink he absent-mindedly walks to the cooler and grabs a can, pops the tab and hands it to me. I being in a rush take it and run away chugging when I notice the taste is different from Pepsi, I was too thirsty and missing playing time so I sucked it dry and continued playing. About 30 minutes later I'm dying of thirst so I swipe someones beer cause I felt like it gave me super energy, next thing I know I'm sitting on the slide on the playground with numb lips and the world won't stop spinning, I slide down and try to walk and stumble on the railroad tie they have the playground surrounded with. Those two beers had me buzzin' hard. My next drinking experience wouldn't come for another 11 years.

things iv done whilst bein drunk:

managed to get myself arrested for moving a trafiic cone - got locked up for six hours and incurred £40 fine

had a masiive arguement with one of my friends wardrobes for over an hour - apparently i dnt remeber (im sure i won tho)

got my self detained for fours hours for settin off a fire alram and threatening residential security with a big stick

woken up in the middle of the city with no idea how i got ther - twice!

dropped my ex girlfriend on her head which resulted in a sixs hours in casualty

got banned from a supermarket for lyin in the refrigerators

I went to this irish pub in canada with my 'Oi' freind, joe. We went to 0'ryans irish pub in windsor. It's a very nice upscale place. The live music is amazing, old irish folk and drinking songs. Everybody pounds their pints on the wooden tables, stomps there feet and sings along.

We were both trying to show each other up, and slamming the guiness. After about 6 pints in an hour. I ran into Joe in the restroom. The restroom is like a carved out marble cube. It's amazing, and sparkling clean. Joe was commenting on how clean it was right as he ralfed all over the stall. I then lost everything I drank, but was kind enough to get the majority of it in the urinal.

Some big bouncer dude heard us and kicked us out. So we wondered the streets until I saw the 'ardvark'. Now I didn't know we looked so drunk, but this guy at the door refused to let us in. I asked if we could come back later to hear the music, he said "yea, music starts tomorrow at 9"

We eventually made it back to the parking garage, but couldn't find the car. So I ended up sleeping against a column somewhere. It would have been nice to sleep in the warm car though

That was a fun night

hmmm my best story wasn't booze but it was memorable. my brother came to my house n he was tripping hard on acid. he was thirsty n asked what i had to drink. i asked if he could handle all the color in a glass of kool aid n he said sure. what i actually handed him was a tall glass of red jello. i nearly peed myself laughing at him freaking over that solid ?liquid? WHAT THE FUCK.!!!!...lol

Damn, you make jello fast!

For my other drinking stories please visit the thread " parents, are you proud of your children? "








J/k

Originally Posted by Luke9583

For my other drinking stories please visit the thread " parents, are you proud of your children? "








J/k

lol n uh i always have jello in case anyone wants to wrestle.




















j/k

Originally Posted by stu21Ldn

things iv done whilst bein drunk:

managed to get myself arrested for moving a trafiic cone - got locked up for six hours and incurred £40 fine

had a masiive arguement with one of my friends wardrobes for over an hour - apparently i dnt remeber (im sure i won tho)

got my self detained for fours hours for settin off a fire alram and threatening residential security with a big stick

woken up in the middle of the city with no idea how i got ther - twice!

dropped my ex girlfriend on her head which resulted in a sixs hours in casualty

got banned from a supermarket for lyin in the refrigerators

Not to be big headed, but i think the Brits will outdo most the Americans/Canadians on this forum when it comes to drinking stories.

No one quite does it like us. I'll add a few to this when i get the time.

The supermarket one is a stroke of genius.

I've done the traffic cone one myself also, although i didn't get caught. And it was on a main road through the city centre. Morning rush hour the following Thursday must have been interesting.

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

lol n uh i always have jello in case anyone wants to wrestle.

In a glass ?

You nutball.

Ironically, I was involved in coordinating a massive jello wrestling event a couple years ago. It involved a 200 gallon pool, about 20' of copper tubing and a some liquid nitrogen Worked great! Except we got complaints about it being tooooo cold

Silly engineers.

if the jello is too cold you could stab somones eye out with a nipple.

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

if the jello is too cold you could stab somones eye out with a nipple.

Don't need to see if I can feel

the best drinking story for me happened this weekend...

me and my friends were chilling in my buddy brians house, we were listening to music and shooting off things with his pellet gun..

well he is not the brightest start in the sky... he was about to shoot a truck passing by and he had his finger on the sights, i didnt know why but anyway he for some reason moved his finger in front of the barrel. he shot his finger and the pellet go stuck

i know its meen but i couldnt stop laughing.

theres one of my drinking stories.
hope ya lliked it..rofl

Ha, mine makes me and my roommates laugh to this day. My freshman year of college I was dating a girl who went to another school, and me and my roommate drove up to see her one weekend. I was all excited to see her, but she was ignoring me getting ready to go out b/c we were going to one of her sorority functions. I started getting pissed so me and my roommate sat down and decided to go shot for shot on a bottle of Jim Beam's finest. About 45 mins later we had killed a whole fifth then shotgunned a few beers. She was ready to go so we hop in my car. Her friend is driving my new Grand Cherokee and she was in the front seat. I sat in the back next to her roommate and my buddy was in the very back. I was slammed and fighting to stay awake and my girl starts bitching at me about how i don't know when to stop drinking and i look at her and go "Shut the fuck up" so she looks at her roommate who is next to me and says "make sure he doesn't throw up". Well at that moment i looked over at the girl and threw up all over her, all in her lap and all over my car. I didnt get a single drop on me, so this causes pandamoniun and we pull over and the girl starts getting out and i say "Your getting puke all over my new car bitch" and that gets everyone mad at me but me and my roommate are laughing our asses off. Well we take her back to change and we go clean out my car and the evening went on with every girl in this sorority talking about how im a bumbling drunk. To this day that girl won't even say hey to me but it was some funny shit.

Originally Posted by TCD

The supermarket one is a stroke of genius.

iv got a video of it on my phone might try an upload it

Im not proud of my drinking escapades, and Im glad I quit totally, but some of them were hilarious. My first night overseas I got assigned to a dorm room with a guy and off I went on a bender. I drank a full bottle of wild turkey on my own and I forget what time I made it back to the dorm. My roomie was still up.....drinking....and he was shining a pair of jump boots he had just bought before he left the states, Brand new! he hadnt even worn them yet. And they were spit shined to glass.

I flopped into my bunk and passed out. He made the big mistake of laying his freshly shined boots next to my bunk, "you can probably already guess right"?

Anyway he later told me, and I have no memory of doing it, after about 10 mins I sat up in the bunk, looked at him, grabbed his one boot, and into it. Filling it to the top with puke. I then carefully put the boot down right next to the other one and went back to sleep.

It wasnt the best way to make friends with a guy you just met. He was up for about 3 hours cleaning the puke out of his boot and he was never able to get a good shine out of it. I would have bought him new boots but we couldnt get that type in the shithole we were stationed at.

It wasnt the funniest of my escapades but its one of the few I'll admit to....................................Rich

Originally Posted by gococksDJS

the girl starts getting out and i say "Your getting puke all over my new car bitch"

Originally Posted by Luke9583

Don't need to see if I can feel

now the thought of you and really hard nipples will always be connected in my mind...

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

now the thought of you and really hard nipples will always be connected in my mind...

That's interesting, because I spend alot of time 'thinking' about really hard nipples

I live in Maine and it is November... mine will be hard till spring.

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

I live in Maine and it is November... mine will be hard till spring.

Minos too! hey were roasting Johnnny, wanna join? or are you toonice?
Im feeling kinda grumpy

Originally Posted by cman

Minos too! hey were roasting Johnnny, wanna join? or are you toonice?
Im feeling kinda grumpy

where?

One of my buddies had a kegger one night and we all got waisted and crashed over there. I used to date his sister, who was just a year younger than us,thi will be important later. Well I passed out in his room on the floor and I got up to use the restroom. Well from his room the bathroom was the first door on the right. The problem is I'm used to going from the living room where the bathroom is the first door on the left and his sister's room is the first door on the right! Well needless to say I went in the wrong room.
She had her pon poms in the corner of her room, she was a cheerleader ofcourse, and I guess I thought that was the corner where the toilet needed to be. I pissed all over them! She woke up yelling at me and she said, I don't remember anything else, that I ran back to her bro's room and acted like I was passed out. She said my pants were still undone and I was grinning from ear to ear.
Man it stunk for days in there!

I threw up on myself (a little) when I was a teenager riding the NYC subway on the way to an Iggy Pop show! That's punk-rock. I was so drunk I just wiped it off & kept on laffing w/my buds!

>
> A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at
>the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees
>three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up,
>staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,
>meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your
>grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway
>buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
>
> The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His
>buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and
>would fight at the drop of a hat.
>
> The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I
>got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best
>I ever had!"
>
> The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad
>but the biker still says nothing.
>
> The drunk leans on the table one more time and
>says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma
>liked it!"
>
> At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk
>by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and
>says,
>
>
>
>
>
>"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk