Thread: Your first love-

Well, I'd say if you're wondering then you shouldn't be getting married.

I'd be happy if it only took one relationship to find a wife. Dating sucks!

Originally Posted by ShannonC_77

Hey,

Just wondering what your guys's opinions were on this issue. Would you ever marry your first love? Like if you guys had been together for a long time and everything was going good would you marry them? Or do you think it's better to have more relationship experience before you decide to get married? Would a part of you ever wonder if there wasn't someone better out there? (since you only ever dated one person seriously, it would be all you know....)

all depends and IMO age has a lot to do with it. you are definetly not the same person at 18 as you are at 30. I think everyone should get some dating and relationship experience behind them before getting married. there's a lot more than 1 person out there for everyone...

Originally Posted by LAM

there's a lot more than 1 person out there for everyone...

Life is a buffet.

Life is a buffet.

And I stick to the seafood section

Originally Posted by camarosuper6

And I stick to the seafood section

Bearded clam


On a serious note, my grandparents have been married over 50 years.. so I dont see why its not possible.

Originally Posted by LAM

all depends and IMO age has a lot to do with it. you are definetly not the same person at 18 as you are at 30. I think everyone should get some dating and relationship experience behind them before getting married. there's a lot more than 1 person out there for everyone...

I agree with this. I married my first love, though she had others before me. I was young (19) and have changed ALOT since we got married. I don't regret it but it's definately had it's problems.

My first love is actually now my best friend. I love him, but we wouldn't ever date again. Hell lol, we try to find eachother dates.

Originally Posted by ShannonC_77

Your first Love

Should Burn In HELL!!!

My first love? I dated her sister 2 years later ... ... after that they both hated me. I was such an asshole as a teenager.

Originally Posted by ShannonC_77

Hey,

Just wondering what your guys's opinions were on this issue. Would you ever marry your first love?

Yes,... now that i've had a second, third, fourth ect... I'd like to know how to get back in touch with the first

I miss 'er

Originally Posted by PreMier

On a serious note, my grandparents have been married over 50 years.. so I dont see why its not possible.

It's not as likely because:
a) monogamy isn't natural

b) they (people like your grandparents) are from a different time, with different values and expectations

c) that kind of connection with another person is precious and rare and if you ever have that, holy shit. you are one of the lucky few who ever do.

My grandparents have aslo been together 50+ years. Both sets of them. (one set is no longer with us )

My first love, i'm glad i didn't marry him. It was discussed. I was 18. My life would be SUCKING right about now.

I got a letter from my first love the other day.....it was an advertisement letter for selling real estate and she still looked hot LOL But I was a completely different person at 17-18 then I am today at 30 from some mutual friends I am pretty sure it would have never lasted.

Originally Posted by GoalGetter

It's not as likely because:
a) monogamy isn't natural

b) they (people like your grandparents) are from a different time, with different values and expectations

c) that kind of connection with another person is precious and rare and if you ever have that, holy shit. you are one of the lucky few who ever do.

I think monogamy is a choice. B & C are rare, but not impossible, even today...(at least i hope!)

I tried to marry my first love. i was 17 and we had been together for 2 1/2 years and i couldnt see myself with anyone else so i proposed and she excepted. about 6 motnhs later we broke up. we were ready. this was 6 years ago and we still talk from time to time and she always talks about getting back togther but im with someone else. ill always have feeling for her i mean there still pretty strong. but u have to experience things before you jump into that believe me i know. now my current girlfriend of 5 years wants to get married and it scares me to death.

Have fun and remember!
If you love somehting let it go if i comes back then its meant to be, if it doesnt hunt it down and kill it j/k hahaha

Originally Posted by busyLivin

I think monogamy is a choice. B & C are rare, but not impossible, even today...(at least i hope!)

I agree that it is a choice. But it is still not natural. It's a choice like a fitness lifestyle is a choice. It's not a "normal" way of life. You choose to live this way.

I know it's a dumb comparisson, but I hope you know what I meant.

And yeah as rare as the other two are, I still have hope; maybe a little less now, as an adult, than I did as a teenager, but I won't settle.

I did NOT marry my first love, even though she was pressuring me. THANK GOD I didn't, because life would have SUCKED if I did (I can see that looking back now).

Originally Posted by GoalGetter

I agree that it is a choice. But it is still not natural. It's a choice like a fitness lifestyle is a choice. It's not a "normal" way of life. You choose to live this way.

I know it's a dumb comparisson, but I hope you know what I meant.

And yeah as rare as the other two are, I still have hope; maybe a little less now, as an adult, than I did as a teenager, but I won't settle.

I know what you meant

I also know what you mean about losing a little hope: I can't find a decent girl Settling isn't an option for me either & I've gotten very picky lately.

Originally Posted by busyLivin

Settling isn't an option for me either & I've gotten very picky lately.

I've noticed in my "old age" that it's a common by-product of dating around instead of marrying your first love. You get to see what different personalities are like (sometimes it's one person with multiple personalities hahahahaha), and you get to figure out what you want, or don't want in your life, what you can live with, what your priorities and values are in a life partner (because ideally this person will be THAT, a life partner)... As you get to know yourself more and are more sure of yourself and who you are and what you stand for, it gets harder to compromise any of that. So you get picky. Less and less it's about looks or fleeting things, and more and more about someone who complements you as completely as possible. At least that's what MY problem is.

OR (hahahahahhaha!) you get desperate... some people go the completely opposite way, like a friend of mine's sister. She is at the point I think that she will marry the first guy who proposes.

oh my.. i'm rambling. i'll shut up now.

Originally Posted by GoalGetter

I've noticed in my "old age" that it's a common by-product of dating around instead of marrying your first love. You get to see what different personalities are like (sometimes it's one person with multiple personalities hahahahaha), and you get to figure out what you want, or don't want in your life, what you can live with, what your priorities and values are in a life partner (because ideally this person will be THAT, a life partner)... As you get to know yourself more and are more sure of yourself and who you are and what you stand for, it gets harder to compromise any of that. So you get picky. Less and less it's about looks or fleeting things, and more and more about someone who complements you as completely as possible. At least that's what MY problem is.

OR (hahahahahhaha!) you get desperate... some people go the completely opposite way, like a friend of mine's sister. She is at the point I think that she will marry the first guy who proposes.

oh my.. i'm rambling. i'll shut up now.

that's exactly right... surpisingly my pickiness is not about looks. obviously there has to be some degree of attraction, but you are exactly right!

i read a funny quote in the book "The Way of the Wiseguy" by Donnie Brasco.

the whole book is about Donnie's thought of the mob. each chapter described a different subject, such as "food", "how to do a hit", "getting made" etc.

One chapter in particular is "wives/girlfriends".
He mentions how something as high as 50% of marraiges nowadays end in divorce.
Then he goes on to talk about how its a known thing that mobsters had a few girlfriends on the side along with their wife that they'd go home to.
He ends it with saying something to the idea of "although mobsters have gf's, ALOT less than 50% of their marraiges end in divorce".

so what they don't know can't hurt... just the thoughtful marriage I want

^ya, but the wives accept it, and they don't get divorced.

Originally Posted by Flex

^ya, but the wives accept it, and they don't get divorced.

tell that to john bobbit.. or that guy who's wife driove in circles over him ten times!

John wasn't in the mob, and neither was James Roadkill

Originally Posted by Flex

John wasn't in the mob, and neither was James Roadkill

moral of the story?

join the mob to stay married!

..err & keep your johnson from being severed.