Thread: Why men stand and pee.....

Seems God was just about done creating the universe,but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It's a very handy thing", God told the couple, "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very ability."

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please,oh please, let me have that ability, It'd be so great! when I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..."

On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability. And so Adam was given the ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while.

"Fine," God said looking back into his bag of leftovers, "What's left here? Oh yes, Multiple orgasms....."

Adam is fluttering around in the Garden of Eden one day bored and lonely.
Adam: Hey God, you there?
God: Yes, Adam, I am always here.
Adam: Well I dont wanna sound un-greatful or anything, but I'm lonely.
God: Everything you see, I have created for you. From the ant to the elehpant, from land to sea, it has all been for you
Adam: Yeah I know what your saying God, but Im still lonely.
God: So you have a problem then Adam. But I have the solution. I will create you a woman.
Adam: What's a woman?
God: She will be everything your heart desires. When you are hungry she will cook for you, when you are thirsty she will fetch you water, when you are lonely she will listen, when you are hurt she will care for you, and when you have finished sex she will not expect you to stay awake.
Adam: Well that sounds great God.
God: But this will cost you Adam
Adam: What will this cost?
God: Your left arm and leg.
Adam: *After thinking on this for awhile* Hey, God.
God: Yes, Adam
Adam: What can I get for one rib?