Thread: Have to give a 13yo a chat about drugs, etc..

http://teenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/drugs.htm

Pretty good article (I thought)

i work at a h.s., and although i'm not a guidance counselor, i practically am one since i deal with troublemakers all day (i could talk to one if you want, to maybe get a good website or something)

anyhow, there's 2 main things that are undeniable truths when dealing with these issues...

1. kids are gonna do what they are gonna do. the only thing you CAN do is talk to them (which is what you are doing), so hopefully they'll make the right decision(s) when the time comes.

2. Kids will make more right decisions when there is someone who cares in their lives (which you are doing). when someone is talking to them about sex, drugs and alcohol, it shows someone cares about them and will influence them to make the right decisions.

in your specific situation, i'd avoid her parents and talk to her on your own.

let her know you, and the others in her lives, care about her and what she does.

then hopefully, when the time comes, she'll make the right decisions.

good luck

Heya CRASH. Tough nut to crack that one. Any kid at that age is going through an identity search to find them selves ... and wanting to defy the athourity figures to do it. You can't save her from her self or her mother's influences. At her age she has heard all the reasons not to do drugs or drink ... she just is not gonna listen to that right now. Try ... but don't feel like you failed her if she doesn't take your advice. Cuz she won't. Best shot you have is not to become an athourity figure to her. Be a friend she can come to when she does find herself in need is your best posistion ... as long as you can actually do the job. Make sure she knows you'll be there at 3 in the morning when the moment is bad and she needs an exit. Good luck Crash!!!

Bring her on the Maury Povich Show and send her to Teen Boot Camp with Sergeant Zulu.

study has shown that females that consume alcohol at an early age have a much higher preganancy rate (that is kind of a no-brainer). I know tons of girls that had babies when they were teens and 99% of them now are totally miserable. they are in there early 20's now and they can't do shit, they have no social life, can't go to school, can't get a good full-time job, etc...

try to let her know that you are on her side. at least if she is going to still do stupid things, you'd probably rather that she feel comfortable talking to you about them.

Good luck!

Just like everyone else has said keep the lines of communication open. I would ask her if she thinks getting pregnant at her age would be wise, she would have to give up partying for 9 month's, ask her if she wants you and your gf to take her to get birth control. You might mention to her that drugs including alcohol are alot of fun until they become a habit then they are a chore.

You can talk to her, but kids will do what they want. If not to your face, than they will do it elsewhere. Just show her some STD pictures, I saw some clips of ghonnorea, the clap, and herpes during a college intro course a few years ago, and almost became a unic. As far as smoking goes, all kids go through that, but the best thing to do is talk to them. My buddy's grandfather smoked for 45 years, and got throat cancer. Now he doesn't have a voicebox and has to live with a traechial tube in his throat and a hole the size of a quarter in his throat. Seeing that alone was enough to scare me away from smoking...

crashman you're younger than I thought

Tell them, stay in school, and drugs are uncool.

Tell her about the egg in the frying pan...'

be sure to explain that it's one thing to be cool by doing drugs and having sex, but if she wants to stay cool she better be good at both or else she'll get a bad rep

Tell her to remember "Don't get high off your own supply"

We live in such a hypocrite society, I love it.

We? Whadaya mean "We"? You live in Brazil Blue Bunny ... You mean "You live in a ... " don'tcha?

Originally Posted by Flex

i work at a h.s., and although i'm not a guidance counselor, i practically am one since i deal with troublemakers all day (i could talk to one if you want, to maybe get a good website or something)

Ya, if you could do that, i would be very greatful maybe they'll have some pictures of nasty stuff on the sites so i can show her scare her away lol like someone said

other than that thank you everyone for the help and i hope this goes as good as i hope it does

Originally Posted by Crono1000

crashman you're younger than I thought

lol how old did you think i was?

Originally Posted by Vieope

We live in such a hypocrite society, I love it.

hey, shut up I fall under a different catagory; i'm an adult....well in physical age.

Originally Posted by CRASHMAN

Ya, if you could do that, i would be very greatful maybe they'll have some pictures of nasty stuff on the sites so i can show her scare her away lol like someone said

other than that thank you everyone for the help and i hope this goes as good as i hope it does

Want to scare her? Show her some pics of people with full blown aids.

I suggest next time she has a guy over(she is 13, how old are they?), that maybe you call the police. No matter how mature anyone thinks she is, she is STILL a fucking kid!

Originally Posted by CRASHMAN

Ya, if you could do that, i would be very greatful maybe they'll have some pictures of nasty stuff on the sites so i can show her scare her away lol like someone said

you got it

i'll talk to someone tommorow. I'll getcha some good websites and advice.

For now, just make sure to tell her the reason you're telling her this isn't to "preach" to her what to do and what not to do. It's just that you, and whoever else (parents, sis etc) love her, and want her to make the right decisions. Show her you guys care. Once she realizes that, she'll start to listen cuz she'll care about you.

I talk and talk all day with the troublemakers i deal with. I ask them q's, b.s. with 'em, show them that i'm interested in their lives, ya know?
By doing so, it shows them that someone cares, which they often don't get at home (i can't believe some of the freakin' stories i hear about these kids' parents and homelives...no WONDER they are so fucked up)
By doing so, they begin to trust me and like me. Once they trust me and like me, then they'll start to actually listen to the advice i have for them. Got me?
Otherwise i tell them if they screw up i'll just break their fuckin' legs

Originally Posted by PreMier

Want to scare her? Show her some pics of people with full blown aids.

I suggest next time she has a guy over(she is 13, how old are they?), that maybe you call the police. No matter how mature anyone thinks she is, she is STILL a fucking kid!

the friends are like 16/17 with a 13 year old girl. It's legal cause they are both under age, but imo i believe that a 17 year old with a 13 year old is not right.

Originally Posted by PreMier

maybe you call the police. No matter how mature anyone thinks she is, she is STILL a fucking kid

no no

if you do that, she'll wanna fool around with guys even more. She'll just go somewhere else and do it. TRUST me.

What u wanna do is like i said. Show her you care, then she'll listen to ya. Be as open as you can.

Originally Posted by CRASHMAN

the friends are like 16/17 with a 13 year old girl. It's legal cause they are both under age, but imo i believe that a 17 year old with a 13 year old is not right.

WHOOOOOOOOOOA! thats a horse of a different color!

16 and 17yr olds????

i assumed they were her age, maybe within a year, MAYBE even 2 years. But that old???

I'll kill those guys for $50.

Originally Posted by Flex

you got it

i'll talk to someone tommorow. I'll getcha some good websites and advice.

For now, just make sure to tell her the reason you're telling her this isn't to "preach" to her what to do and what not to do. It's just that you, and whoever else (parents, sis etc) love her, and want her to make the right decisions. Show her you guys care. Once she realizes that, she'll start to listen cuz she'll care about you.

I talk and talk all day with the troublemakers i deal with. I ask them q's, b.s. with 'em, show them that i'm interested in their lives, ya know?
By doing so, it shows them that someone cares, which they often don't get at home (i can't believe some of the freakin' stories i hear about these kids' parents and homelives...no WONDER they are so fucked up)
By doing so, they begin to trust me and like me. Once they trust me and like me, then they'll start to actually listen to the advice i have for them. Got me?
Otherwise i tell them if they screw up i'll just break their fuckin' legs

Great advice, It bugs me so much to see these morinic people raising children and fucking them up. I believe that there wouldn't be atleast half of the troubles with people in the world if there was proper parenting. Parents need to stop trying to be "cool" and start being parents!

You can teach her about the importance of using protection during sex and similar things, but she is going to do whatever her friends do. You aren't like an older brother, more like what her dad should be. Use your influence, but don't be too upset when you discover that her situation doesn't improve. It is great that you care. If these guys are more than 15, I'd get the cops on their tail without letting her know you are doing that. Get her sister more involved.

Originally Posted by Flex

WHOOOOOOOOOOA! thats a horse of a different color!

16 and 17yr olds????

i assumed they were her age, maybe within a year, MAYBE even 2 years. But that old???

I'll kill those guys for $50.

I'd be kicking the crap out of them but they are under age and i'd go to jail for it......

Originally Posted by Flex

no no

if you do that, she'll wanna fool around with guys even more. She'll just go somewhere else and do it. TRUST me.

What u wanna do is like i said. Show her you care, then she'll listen to ya. Be as open as you can.

Yea, she is a kid, and a 17yr old should NOT be staying the night.


I dont think its legal crash.. There are laws to protect minors, and minors arent just alowed to do whatever they want.