Have to give a 13yo a chat about drugs, etc..

CRASHMAN · 01-04-2005, 06:23 AM

Hi , me and my GF are 21 and 20 and she has a new younger step sister who just turned 13. She's really cool and really mature for her age but thats a bad thing; she's way too mature. She's hanging out with older people who are influencing her to do stupid things ie: smoke weed, drink, and have sexual encounters. Also, her mother and new father are too wrapped up in their own bullshit to give a fuck about their daughters life(they're going through midlife crisis together....

) . And her mother being a complete moron allows this girl to have boys stay the night and sleep in the same bed alone because my GF who is 20 has me stay the night. as well as allowing her actions with boys(sexual). And the mother uses her maturity as an excuse.(just a side note mom has had a hysterectomy and can't have kids and tells her younger daughter it would be ok if she got pregnant because she'd take the child and raise it.)
yes, morons and very naive. This lady is totally about power trips and about her always being right. so, if you bring something to her attention about her doing something incorrectly ie: raising her child, she will argue against it no matter how stupid a thing she is doing just so she can be right. And talking to this lady is like talking to a brick wall it doesn't hear or acknowledge anything you say. And the father (my GF's dad) is pussy whipped and fallows his wife about everything even if he knows its wrong.

Now that you have a little background, I can't watch this little girl ruin her life and get pregnant and do drugs. I want to give this girl a nice little talk and a chance in life. And seeing how she looks up to me and confides alot in me because i'm like a big brother to her and i really need to know where to start and some things that'll stop her from doing drugs having sex etc.

she has the normal response:
"age is just a number"
"its natural"
"why can you do it but i can't"
i need some good responses that'll squash these statements

and a beginning of where to start should i scare her with information? should i just not do anything? where would i find the info on everything etc.

I guess what really pissed me off was tonight she told me over the internet that she was out getting drunk with friends and smoking weed and she told my gf she did some sexual things. I messenged her back and told her we have to speak in person.

Am i too rash?

Parents how'd you deal with this?

Witmaster · 01-04-2005, 08:36 AM

http://teenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/drugs.htm

Pretty good article (I thought)

Flex · 01-04-2005, 08:58 AM

i work at a h.s., and although i'm not a guidance counselor, i practically am one since i deal with troublemakers all day (i could talk to one if you want, to maybe get a good website or something)

anyhow, there's 2 main things that are undeniable truths when dealing with these issues...

1. kids are gonna do what they are gonna do. the only thing you CAN do is talk to them (which is what you are doing), so hopefully they'll make the right decision(s) when the time comes.

2. Kids will make more right decisions when there is someone who cares in their lives (which you are doing). when someone is talking to them about sex, drugs and alcohol, it shows someone cares about them and will influence them to make the right decisions.

Flex · 01-04-2005, 08:59 AM

in your specific situation, i'd avoid her parents and talk to her on your own.

let her know you, and the others in her lives, care about her and what she does.

then hopefully, when the time comes, she'll make the right decisions.

good luck

BoneCrusher · 01-04-2005, 09:11 AM

Heya CRASH. Tough nut to crack that one. Any kid at that age is going through an identity search to find them selves ... and wanting to defy the athourity figures to do it. You can't save her from her self or her mother's influences. At her age she has heard all the reasons not to do drugs or drink ... she just is not gonna listen to that right now. Try ... but don't feel like you failed her if she doesn't take your advice. Cuz she won't. Best shot you have is not to become an athourity figure to her. Be a friend she can come to when she does find herself in need is your best posistion ... as long as you can actually do the job. Make sure she knows you'll be there at 3 in the morning when the moment is bad and she needs an exit. Good luck Crash!!!

**Dale Mabry** · 01-04-2005, 09:36 AM

Bring her on the Maury Povich Show and send her to Teen Boot Camp with Sergeant Zulu.

LAM · 01-04-2005, 11:10 AM

study has shown that females that consume alcohol at an early age have a much higher preganancy rate (that is kind of a no-brainer). I know tons of girls that had babies when they were teens and 99% of them now are totally miserable. they are in there early 20's now and they can't do shit, they have no social life, can't go to school, can't get a good full-time job, etc...

**MtnBikerChk** · 01-04-2005, 12:20 PM

try to let her know that you are on her side. at least if she is going to still do stupid things, you'd probably rather that she feel comfortable talking to you about them.

Good luck!

maniclion · 01-04-2005, 02:33 PM

Just like everyone else has said keep the lines of communication open. I would ask her if she thinks getting pregnant at her age would be wise, she would have to give up partying for 9 month's, ask her if she wants you and your gf to take her to get birth control. You might mention to her that drugs including alcohol are alot of fun until they become a habit then they are a chore.

gococksDJS · 01-04-2005, 02:44 PM

You can talk to her, but kids will do what they want. If not to your face, than they will do it elsewhere. Just show her some STD pictures, I saw some clips of ghonnorea, the clap, and herpes during a college intro course a few years ago, and almost became a unic. As far as smoking goes, all kids go through that, but the best thing to do is talk to them. My buddy's grandfather smoked for 45 years, and got throat cancer. Now he doesn't have a voicebox and has to live with a traechial tube in his throat and a hole the size of a quarter in his throat. Seeing that alone was enough to scare me away from smoking...

Crono1000 · 01-04-2005, 03:19 PM

crashman you're younger than I thought

BigDyl · 01-04-2005, 03:55 PM

Tell them, stay in school, and drugs are uncool.

camarosuper6 · 01-04-2005, 04:01 PM

Tell her about the egg in the frying pan...'

Crono1000 · 01-04-2005, 04:09 PM

be sure to explain that it's one thing to be cool by doing drugs and having sex, but if she wants to stay cool she better be good at both or else she'll get a bad rep

gococksDJS · 01-04-2005, 06:08 PM

Tell her to remember "Don't get high off your own supply"

Vieope · 01-04-2005, 06:16 PM

We live in such a hypocrite society, I love it.

BoneCrusher · 01-04-2005, 09:26 PM

We? Whadaya mean "We"? You live in Brazil Blue Bunny ... You mean "You live in a ... " don'tcha?

CRASHMAN · 01-04-2005, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flex

i work at a h.s., and although i'm not a guidance counselor, i practically am one since i deal with troublemakers all day (i could talk to one if you want, to maybe get a good website or something)

Ya, if you could do that, i would be very greatful maybe they'll have some pictures of nasty stuff on the sites so i can show her scare her away lol like someone said

other than that thank you everyone for the help and i hope this goes as good as i hope it does

CRASHMAN · 01-04-2005, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

crashman you're younger than I thought

lol how old did you think i was?

CRASHMAN · 01-04-2005, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vieope

We live in such a hypocrite society, I love it.

hey, shut up

I fall under a different catagory; i'm an adult....well in physical age.

PreMier · 01-04-2005, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CRASHMAN

Ya, if you could do that, i would be very greatful maybe they'll have some pictures of nasty stuff on the sites so i can show her scare her away lol like someone said

other than that thank you everyone for the help and i hope this goes as good as i hope it does

Want to scare her? Show her some pics of people with full blown aids.

I suggest next time she has a guy over(she is 13, how old are they?), that maybe you call the police. No matter how mature anyone thinks she is, she is STILL a fucking kid!

Flex · 01-04-2005, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CRASHMAN

Ya, if you could do that, i would be very greatful maybe they'll have some pictures of nasty stuff on the sites so i can show her scare her away lol like someone said

you got it

i'll talk to someone tommorow. I'll getcha some good websites and advice.

For now, just make sure to tell her the reason you're telling her this isn't to "preach" to her what to do and what not to do. It's just that you, and whoever else (parents, sis etc) love her, and want her to make the right decisions. Show her you guys care. Once she realizes that, she'll start to listen cuz she'll care about you.

I talk and talk all day with the troublemakers i deal with. I ask them q's, b.s. with 'em, show them that i'm interested in their lives, ya know?
By doing so, it shows them that someone cares, which they often don't get at home (i can't believe some of the freakin' stories i hear about these kids' parents and homelives...no WONDER they are so fucked up)
By doing so, they begin to trust me and like me. Once they trust me and like me, then they'll start to actually listen to the advice i have for them. Got me?
Otherwise i tell them if they screw up i'll just break their fuckin' legs

CRASHMAN · 01-04-2005, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PreMier

Want to scare her? Show her some pics of people with full blown aids.

I suggest next time she has a guy over(she is 13, how old are they?), that maybe you call the police. No matter how mature anyone thinks she is, she is STILL a fucking kid!

the friends are like 16/17 with a 13 year old girl. It's legal cause they are both under age, but imo i believe that a 17 year old with a 13 year old is not right.

Flex · 01-04-2005, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PreMier

maybe you call the police. No matter how mature anyone thinks she is, she is STILL a fucking kid

no no

if you do that, she'll wanna fool around with guys even more. She'll just go somewhere else and do it. TRUST me.

What u wanna do is like i said. Show her you care, then she'll listen to ya. Be as open as you can.

Flex · 01-04-2005, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CRASHMAN

the friends are like 16/17 with a 13 year old girl. It's legal cause they are both under age, but imo i believe that a 17 year old with a 13 year old is not right.

WHOOOOOOOOOOA! thats a horse of a different color!

16 and 17yr olds????

i assumed they were her age, maybe within a year, MAYBE even 2 years. But that old???

I'll kill those guys for $50.

CRASHMAN · 01-04-2005, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flex

you got it

i'll talk to someone tommorow. I'll getcha some good websites and advice.

For now, just make sure to tell her the reason you're telling her this isn't to "preach" to her what to do and what not to do. It's just that you, and whoever else (parents, sis etc) love her, and want her to make the right decisions. Show her you guys care. Once she realizes that, she'll start to listen cuz she'll care about you.

I talk and talk all day with the troublemakers i deal with. I ask them q's, b.s. with 'em, show them that i'm interested in their lives, ya know?
By doing so, it shows them that someone cares, which they often don't get at home (i can't believe some of the freakin' stories i hear about these kids' parents and homelives...no WONDER they are so fucked up)
By doing so, they begin to trust me and like me. Once they trust me and like me, then they'll start to actually listen to the advice i have for them. Got me?
Otherwise i tell them if they screw up i'll just break their fuckin' legs

01-04-2005, 06:23 AM	#1
CRASHMAN SoCal. Stud Elite Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: in a box on a corner near you Posts: 10,080 Photos: 2	Have to give a 13yo a chat about drugs, etc.. Hi , me and my GF are 21 and 20 and she has a new younger step sister who just turned 13. She's really cool and really mature for her age but thats a bad thing; she's way too mature. She's hanging out with older people who are influencing her to do stupid things ie: smoke weed, drink, and have sexual encounters. Also, her mother and new father are too wrapped up in their own bullshit to give a fuck about their daughters life(they're going through midlife crisis together.... ) . And her mother being a complete moron allows this girl to have boys stay the night and sleep in the same bed alone because my GF who is 20 has me stay the night. as well as allowing her actions with boys(sexual). And the mother uses her maturity as an excuse.(just a side note mom has had a hysterectomy and can't have kids and tells her younger daughter it would be ok if she got pregnant because she'd take the child and raise it.) yes, morons and very naive. This lady is totally about power trips and about her always being right. so, if you bring something to her attention about her doing something incorrectly ie: raising her child, she will argue against it no matter how stupid a thing she is doing just so she can be right. And talking to this lady is like talking to a brick wall it doesn't hear or acknowledge anything you say. And the father (my GF's dad) is pussy whipped and fallows his wife about everything even if he knows its wrong. Now that you have a little background, I can't watch this little girl ruin her life and get pregnant and do drugs. I want to give this girl a nice little talk and a chance in life. And seeing how she looks up to me and confides alot in me because i'm like a big brother to her and i really need to know where to start and some things that'll stop her from doing drugs having sex etc. she has the normal response: "age is just a number" "its natural" "why can you do it but i can't" i need some good responses that'll squash these statements and a beginning of where to start should i scare her with information? should i just not do anything? where would i find the info on everything etc. I guess what really pissed me off was tonight she told me over the internet that she was out getting drunk with friends and smoking weed and she told my gf she did some sexual things. I messenged her back and told her we have to speak in person. Am i too rash? Parents how'd you deal with this?

01-04-2005, 08:36 AM	#2
Witmaster Esprit de Corps Elite Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,973 Photos: 6	http://teenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/drugs.htm Pretty good article (I thought)
	NEVER write a check with your mouth that you can't cash with your ASS!! I can run faster mad than you can scared "All right brain... I don't like you and you don't like me. So let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer" ~ Homer Simpson

01-04-2005, 08:58 AM	#3
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	i work at a h.s., and although i'm not a guidance counselor, i practically am one since i deal with troublemakers all day (i could talk to one if you want, to maybe get a good website or something) anyhow, there's 2 main things that are undeniable truths when dealing with these issues... 1. kids are gonna do what they are gonna do. the only thing you CAN do is talk to them (which is what you are doing), so hopefully they'll make the right decision(s) when the time comes. 2. Kids will make more right decisions when there is someone who cares in their lives (which you are doing). when someone is talking to them about sex, drugs and alcohol, it shows someone cares about them and will influence them to make the right decisions.
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

01-04-2005, 08:59 AM	#4
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	in your specific situation, i'd avoid her parents and talk to her on your own. let her know you, and the others in her lives, care about her and what she does. then hopefully, when the time comes, she'll make the right decisions. good luck
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

01-04-2005, 09:36 AM	#6
Dale Mabry Moderator Moderator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Elsewhere Posts: 13,883 Photos: 10	Bring her on the Maury Povich Show and send her to Teen Boot Camp with Sergeant Zulu.
	If sense were common, everyone would have it. 4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

01-04-2005, 09:11 AM	#5
BoneCrusher Lift or Die Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,580	Heya CRASH. Tough nut to crack that one. Any kid at that age is going through an identity search to find them selves ... and wanting to defy the athourity figures to do it. You can't save her from her self or her mother's influences. At her age she has heard all the reasons not to do drugs or drink ... she just is not gonna listen to that right now. Try ... but don't feel like you failed her if she doesn't take your advice. Cuz she won't. Best shot you have is not to become an athourity figure to her. Be a friend she can come to when she does find herself in need is your best posistion ... as long as you can actually do the job. Make sure she knows you'll be there at 3 in the morning when the moment is bad and she needs an exit. Good luck Crash!!!

01-04-2005, 11:10 AM	#7
LAM Gym ratt/Part-time pimp Join Date: May 2002 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 7,384 Photos: 2	study has shown that females that consume alcohol at an early age have a much higher preganancy rate (that is kind of a no-brainer). I know tons of girls that had babies when they were teens and 99% of them now are totally miserable. they are in there early 20's now and they can't do shit, they have no social life, can't go to school, can't get a good full-time job, etc... Last edited by LAM : 01-04-2005 at 12:37 PM.
	Dumbest statement made in the Anabolic Zone for Nov TBD ----------------------------------------------------- What you talking about Willis ?

01-04-2005, 12:20 PM	#8
MtnBikerChk Stealth Moderator Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Dead last Posts: 1,456	try to let her know that you are on her side. at least if she is going to still do stupid things, you'd probably rather that she feel comfortable talking to you about them. Good luck!
	Moderator - Sexual Health and Open Chat IronMagLabs Come ride the Monkey. Full time professional thread killer

01-04-2005, 02:33 PM	#9
maniclion Catalyst Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Hawaii, selling munitions for the war on EcoTerror Posts: 18,389 Photos: 10	Just like everyone else has said keep the lines of communication open. I would ask her if she thinks getting pregnant at her age would be wise, she would have to give up partying for 9 month's, ask her if she wants you and your gf to take her to get birth control. You might mention to her that drugs including alcohol are alot of fun until they become a habit then they are a chore.

01-04-2005, 02:44 PM	#10
gococksDJS RIP Foreman Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 6,002	You can talk to her, but kids will do what they want. If not to your face, than they will do it elsewhere. Just show her some STD pictures, I saw some clips of ghonnorea, the clap, and herpes during a college intro course a few years ago, and almost became a unic. As far as smoking goes, all kids go through that, but the best thing to do is talk to them. My buddy's grandfather smoked for 45 years, and got throat cancer. Now he doesn't have a voicebox and has to live with a traechial tube in his throat and a hole the size of a quarter in his throat. Seeing that alone was enough to scare me away from smoking...
gococksDJS RIP Foreman Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 6,002

01-04-2005, 03:19 PM	#11
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,855 Photos: 11	crashman you're younger than I thought

01-04-2005, 04:01 PM	#13
camarosuper6 Back Home In SOCAL Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: California Posts: 3,354	Tell her about the egg in the frying pan...'
	"TOLERANCE is the virtue of a man without convictions" G.K.Chesterton Boot Shine and Polish $15. New Uniforms: $250 New gun and holster: $450 Looking like a stud in uniform: Priceless Girl: Me and this new guy are getting kinda chummy. Me: Good chummy? Like friends forever? Girl: Ya Me: Or Chummy like, spank my ass chummy?

01-04-2005, 04:09 PM	#14
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,855 Photos: 11	be sure to explain that it's one thing to be cool by doing drugs and having sex, but if she wants to stay cool she better be good at both or else she'll get a bad rep

01-04-2005, 06:08 PM	#15
gococksDJS RIP Foreman Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 6,002	Tell her to remember "Don't get high off your own supply"
gococksDJS RIP Foreman Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 6,002

01-04-2005, 06:16 PM	#16
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,863 Photos: 10	We live in such a hypocrite society, I love it.
	FURtherness

01-04-2005, 09:26 PM	#17
BoneCrusher Lift or Die Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,580	We? Whadaya mean "We"? You live in Brazil Blue Bunny ... You mean "You live in a ... " don'tcha?