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2004 Stella Awards

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  1. #1
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    2004 Stella Awards

    Subject: 2004 ANNUAL STELLA AWARDS***

    It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and Successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the 'Stella Awards' for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

    THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:

    5th Place (Tied)

    Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

    5th Place (Tied)

    19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

    5th Place (Tied)

    Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

    4th Place

    Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.





    3rd Place

    A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.


    2nd Place

    Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.


    1st Place!!!!!

    This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.



    Only in the USA!

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    Damn. I mean really ... damn. What in the heck where these juries thinking?

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    They are Urban Legends

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    And all this time Ive been working my ass off to make money!!! It could be sop simple..Move to the US and trip over something, somewhere!! VOILA!
    Life is what you make of it, not what it makes you...TAKE CHARGE!

    http://www.boners.com/content/791433.1.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy_enough
    And all this time Ive been working my ass off to make money!!! It could be sop simple..Move to the US and trip over something, somewhere!! VOILA!
    We always joke about that as well ... you can sue for any and everything.
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    Don't go getting your panties in a bunch their all fake.

    http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion
    Don't go getting your panties in a bunch their all fake.

    http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html
    otay *unbunching my panties*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet
    otay *unbunching my panties*
    Not you, BoneCrusher
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    Quote Originally Posted by IainDaniel
    They are Urban Legends
    Party pooper

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    Fiewwwww! bunched up panties make me very uncomfortable!
    Life is what you make of it, not what it makes you...TAKE CHARGE!

    http://www.boners.com/content/791433.1.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet
    otay *unbunching my panties*
    I was tempted to reply with some much more interesting... wrote and deleted a few times ...
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    Quote Originally Posted by naturaltan
    I was tempted to reply with some much more interesting... wrote and deleted a few times ...

    Post it... Post it

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    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet


    I didn't only because you are such a sweetie
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    Damn, is it a holiday in Canada or something? I feel outnumbered.
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    Quote Originally Posted by IainDaniel
    Post it... Post it
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion
    Damn, is it a holiday in Canada or something? I feel outnumbered.
    not sure about the othes, but it's Friday damn-it! No need to be working so hard.
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion
    Damn, is it a holiday in Canada or something? I feel outnumbered.
    Yes, it's Friday in Canada = Surf the net Day

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    ...great minds...

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    ... think alike ...
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet
    Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
    I wish this one was true, I hate insurence companies.

  22. #22
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    Speaking for the male gender of this thread we'd all love to see panties in bunches ...

    I had looked at the real Stella site too Manic. I was not wanting to crash your party Velvet it looke like you were having sooooo much fun. The real Stella site is interesting too ... though in a more gritty way.

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