Thread: More Foamy cartoons!

For Min0, I found a few scripts to these Foamy Cartoons:

Neurotically Yours: Episode # 065: So I Said to My Doctor

Pilz-E: So, I’m talking to my doctor about my ‘jit’ nervous, I’m nervous. And he says, he says, “I know what the problem might be. You drink so much coffee. It’s making you a little jittery.” And I said, “What?!” He said, “Coffee.” And I said, “Yes, thank you I would love some.” So he said, “No. Just that could be the problem.”

And what’s so ironic about this whole thing is, we were talking about my nervousness due to coffee, over coffee. So I think he’s just trying to hook me, and put me in this vicious cycle of disgusting my dependence of coffee over coffee thus, reinforcing the dependence and reinforcing his dependence on my money.

So I said, “Maybe we shouldn’t meet in Joe’s coffee shop anymore, and we should you know go to your office or something. And he says, “Well, that would be fine.” And and I said, “Well, do you have any coffee there?” And he says, “No, I don’t have any coffee there.” So I said, “Well, well with all the money I give you, you, you figure you could add a little cup of sanka in there even. You know patient comes in, you give him some decaf at least.

Germaine: Aw, come on. Where’s the fuckin’ waitress?

Pilz-E: You can’t just go throughout the day without the coffee!

Germaine: I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes waiting for a refill of coffee.

Pilz-E: Oh. ‘jch’ Thank you. I would love some.

Germaine: Damnit!

Pilz-E: My God! The cup is empty! Now, mother fuck is the crazy non here! It’s empty! Like a head on a shelf of a dead man’s office.

Neurotically Yours: Episode # 063: Email Malady
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Germaine is sitting at her computer; Begley walks in.
Germaine: Porn, porn. Aw come on. Why can’t I just get my fucking e-mail without having to deal with some fucking perverted advertisements?
Begley: Right, would you mind explaining that?
Germaine: Dude look, I have 138 e-mails in my inbox. Only 5 of them are worth reading. The rest of them are porn ads. Female Ejaculations, Blowjobs, Anal sex, and all that other bullshit. I don’t even think these people do research on their target audience. What makes them think that I’m remotely interested in Female Ejaculations?
Begley: Maybe you could request the appropriate ejaculation of your liking.
Germaine: No, No ejaculations. I don’t want any ejaculations and I don’t want anymore of this porn shit in my e-mail dammit! Don’t they realize that I’m a girl and I have no use for ‘Schoolgirl Tit Fucking’? If they’re marketing this shit to guys, fine. Just keep it out of my fucking mailbox. I’m not interested in any of it. (Begley holds up a sign that reads: She owns Vibrating Underwear.)
Begley: I can’t understand you humans and your fascination with the whole sex thing.
Germaine: It’s not me.( Begley holds up another sign saying: She’s a liar) And I don’t think as many people are obsessed with sex(Begley holds up another sign saying: She’s obsessed with sex!!) as marketing would have you believe.( Begley’s sign says: She’s not wearing panties.) It’s all just some ploy to make people feel more inadequate than they really are.(Begley holds up a sign reading: You are all ugly.) This way, men go out and buy fake hair (Begley holds up yet another sign saying: or dye their hair. It points to Germaine) and Viagra; while women go and get their breasts enlarged for no reason.( Begley’s sign says: You need bigger boobs.)
Begley: What about that advertisement?
Germaine: You mean the ‘Bathroom Blowjobs by Beautiful Bouncing Bitches’?
Begley: You people actually have sex in the loo?
Germaine: I dunno. Probably. I just hope they slip on a pile of crap and crack their heads open on the toilet.
Begley: Right that would be quite amusing. Then you could flush their brains down the potty.
Computer: You’ve got porn.
Germaine: Aw Come on!

Neurotically Yours: Episode # 043: FAT-KINS
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FOAMY:
OK, I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF THIS FAT-KINS DIET. YOU FUCKIN' CARB COUNTING ASSHOLES REALLY
NEED TO STOP. ALL I HEAR OUT OF EVERYONE'S MOUTH IS, OH I CAN'T EAT THAT, IT HAS
CARBS.... WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEED CARBS, IF YOU DON'T HAVE CARBS YOUR BRAIN
ROTS AND YOUR LIVER GETS DAMAGED. NICE. YOUR THIN, AND HAVE SOME WEIRD ASS MENTAL
DISSEASE AND A BAD LIVER. YEP, THE VANITY IS WORTH IT.

I'M ALSO SICK OF THIS FUCKIN' EXCHANGE PROGRAM, WHERE YOU MINUS THE FIBER GRAMS
FROM THE FAT GRAMS AND THE CARB GRAMS, TO DETERMINE WHAT THE CARB RATIO IS IN
YOUR FOOD. FUCK THAT. WHEN I PICK UP FOOD I'M NOT GONNA START DOING ADDITION AND
SUBTRACTION TO SEE IF IT'S A FUCKIN' MEAL I CAN EAT. HOW ABOUT JUST MINUSING SOME
FUCKIN' FOOD FROM YOUR EVERY DAY EATING BINGES YOU FAT BASTARDS. STOP LOOKING TO
SOME DEAD MAN FOR A QUICK FIX DIET AND JUST EAT LIKE A SESIBLE HUMAN BEING.

YOU NEVER SEE ANY FAT SQUIRRLES DO YA?
WHY?

BECAUSE WE EXCERSICE BY JUMPING FROM TREE TO TREE AND ONLY EAT NUTS. AND THE
OCATIONAL BAGEL THAT SOMEONE THROWS OUT.

STOP BEING SO CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR IMAGE AND JUST BE YOURSELF. IF YOUR A FAT
BASTARD, FINE, BE A FAT BASTARD. IF YOU'RE AN ANOREXIC JACK-ASS WITH A THYROID
PROBLEM, FINE...BE A TWIG. STOP DOING ALL THESE UNNESSECARY DIETS.

CAUSE YOU KNOW, ONCE YOU GET DOWN TO YOUR GOAL WEIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE:
"SURE, I CAN HAVE AN EXTRA PIECE OF CAKE, LOOK AT ALL THE WEIGHT I LOST. THEN BEFORE
YOU KNOW IT, RRRRRRWEEEEEEEETT. BACK ON A DIET CAUSE YOUR ASS IS FALLIN' OUT OF
YOUR JEANS.

JUST BE YOURSELF. EAT THAT TWINKIE. ENJOY THAT CAKE, BUY THAT EXTRA POUND OF
GOURMET CREAM CHEESE YOU ALWAYS WANTED!!! AND IF PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU FUNNY
BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO FAT OR TOO SKINNY, TELL EM TO FUCK OFF AND DIE. YOU DO NOT NEED
TO ADHERE TO THE IDEALISTIC VISION OF BEAUTY MARKETED BY FASHION MAGAZINES AND
NEGATIVELY RE-NFORCED BY A SOCIETY DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT BEAUTY ONLY

Inner Demons

Foamy rocks i allways watch the new episodes when their out, but his squirel friend with glasses is better lol

Foamy's Rant
Foamy's Rant *2