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The Universal Breakup Card
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02-19-2005, 07:30 PM
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#1 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
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The Universal Breakup Card
Dear ________________,
_____ 1) It's been fun, but I want to see other people ______ 2) You suck in bed. ____ 3) I want to explore new things and meet new people ____ 4) I've seen Professional Wrestlers more sensitive than you ____ 5) You're a loser ____ 7) You're too sensitive, stop whining already _____8) I have to break up with you because I slept with your best friend/ dog/ sister/ neighbor _____ 9) It's not you, it's me. I'm a double agent and have to rescue the President ____ 10) I'm actually not straight / gay, fooled you! ___ 11) We can't have sex because I keep thinking about your mother/father/best friend/ cow/ next door neighbor ___ 12) Your stubborn refusal to not flush the toilet / shave / masturbate / kick helpless animals is just too much ___13) I'm prejudiced against _________, so this isn't going to work. ___ 14) You were so awful I'm joining a seminary / practicing celibacy forever ____ 15) I now hate men / women because of you ___ 16) You told my parents we do it like monkeys and they won't let me see you now ___ 17) You're fucking cheap, I don't want much, but c'mon! ___ 18) I have to leave, I pissed off the mob / government / terrorists / rap musicians ___19) You're leaving to college / the military / prison, I don't feel like waiting ____ 20) I've been indicted for War Crimes ____21) He / She is much better looking than you ___ 22) This sleazy guy /girl convinced me you're a waste of my time and I'm going to hook up with them _____23) I've seen fourth graders smarter than your friends, at least the fourth graders can color in the lines and spell college correctly ___ 24) You are from New Jersey, nuff said ___ 25) I love my cat / dog / sex slave more and you're allergic to them ____26) I was blind when we started dating but now that my sight is back, eeeeewwww ____27) I'm shallow and want a guy / girl with lots of money ____28) I would rather make out with an electrical socket ____29) You're standing in the way of my dream job: Professional Polar Bear Kick Boxing champion. Sincerely, |
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02-19-2005, 07:55 PM
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#2 |
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Six String Samurai
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Dallas
Posts: 1,313
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I think Ive heard every one of those from every girl Ive dated...
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http://www.thestranglehold.com/images/pix/Batista.jpg
Someday....I will be like you.... |
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02-19-2005, 09:18 PM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
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Whats wrong with Jersey????????????
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02-19-2005, 09:21 PM
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#7 |
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Dark Prince
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You forgot number 30, You keep putting my fire out you icy bitch.
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02-19-2005, 09:38 PM
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#14 |
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Rock da beat Move yerfeet
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