I think any fan of Body of Work will appreciate this. Just for kicks, I wrote some deleted scenes for the filming of the EAS Physique Transformation Challenge 98. I bet Bill Phillips gets frustrated easily and is a real asshole; I bet that most of them were not really genuine. Check out the deleted scenes.
INT. INTERVIEW
Porter Freeman sits in the chair listening to instructions from Bill Phillips.
BILL: (OS) Now, Porker.
PORTER: It’s Porter. Don’t call me Porker. They used to call me that when I was a fat bartender.
BILL: (OS) Whatever...in this next line, you want to explain how you had a cold beer and ate a bowl or potato chips and then thought to yourself that you were going to do this challenge.
PORTER: Well, Bill, to be honest with you, nobody eats a “bowl” of potato chips.
BILL: Yes they do Porter. We've been through this.
PORTER: Well it sounds stupid! And ginger ale at a BAR? What the [BEEP] is that?!!
BILL: The dialog is stupid? YOU'RE STUPID! You’re still fat, you’re just not AS fat you [BEEP] ing [BEEP]!
INT. INTERVIEW
Ab Ensley is in the middle of an interview with Bill Phillips.
BILL: (OS) Ab, what was the exact routine you did to get in shape?
AB: Oh, I didn't get in shape. I just got a tan and did push-ups for the after photo.
BILL: (OS) Okay, cut… Ab, you can't say that you only did push-ups. You have to have done something other than doing push-ups and haven gotten a tan.
AB: Well, I can say that I did the calorie crunch and swapped off week to week.
BILL: Great! Let's do it. Take Two! Action!
AB: Well, I basically did the calorie crunch and did push-ups and got a tan.
BILL: CUT! YOU [BEEP] ing, [BEEP] ER!
INT. INTERVIEW
Jeff Sideman is in the interview when bill is asking him if he did steroids.
BILL: (OS) Now, Jeff. You OBVIOUSLY did steroids. Just look at your [BEEP] ing back. It's so [BEEP] ing big that I didn't know if you were going to fit through the [BEEP] ing door.
JEFF: I...I, just...I didn't do steroids...
BILL: (OS) No, we're not doing the actual interview now, Jeff. You don't have to act now. Listen. You have to come up with a workout that people will believe.
JEFF: I...I just...I didn't do steroids.
BILL: Jeff! You don't have to act now, we're not filming right this second. That's not what I am saying.
JEFF: I..I just...
BILL: (OS) You [BEEP] ing stupid [BEEP]!
INTERVIEW
Bill takes Shawn Phillips to the side to tell him something.
BILL: Shawn. We have a problem. Now I know you want to be in this movie.
SHAWN: (Very gaily) I'm on the cover!
BILL: I know. I know Shawn. We’ve been getting some complaints from the guests about you. You are farting and acting creepy again. Stop farting and acting creepy Shawn.
Shawn stops to think about this and has a creepy look on his face. Bill gives two sniffs in the air and looks at Shawn.
BILL: You just did it again, didn't you...
SHAWN: (very gaily) Yes.
INTERVIEW
Bill is asking Evart if he meant that the judges should throw off the contestants or if they should have thrown out the polygraph papers.
EVART: Those [BEEP] ing [BEEP] holes. THROW THEM OUT! Yea, that's right! I said it! Throw them ALL out! I don’t care about them. I’m a ripped old man! Throw the PEOPLE out!
Evart sits back in the chair like a cool bully.
EVART: By the way, SHAWN PHILLIPS IS A FAG!!!
INTERVIEW
Bill is interviewing Meredith Brown.
BILL: (OS) So what do you think you need to get done to win this thing.
MEREDITH: Well, I need drive and determination.
She smiles when she answers, her sweet personality coming out, which is what makes her the lovable one of the film.
BILL: (OS) Drive and determination…hmm. That’s interesting.
MEREDITH: Yea, I believe in all fairness.
BILL: Sure, that would be good to win. But it wouldn't hurt if you [BEEP] ed me.
MARADETH: Okay.
Meredith falls forward to her knees and her head disappears out of site of the camera.
INTERVIEW
Bill is interviewing Ralph Zangara.
RALPH: I believe in god. I have faith. I have determination. I have drive I have...
BILL: Can't this [BEEP] ing guy talk about anything but himself?!! GOD!! I can't listen to this [BEEP] any more! Get out of here you fat cop!
INT. GYM
Drew Avery walks up to Shawn Phillips without a shirt on.
DREW: Hey Shawn. Don’t let them bring you down. I also look creepy and fart. Look. What’s creepier than someone as skinny as me working out in a GYM without a shirt on?
They take a second and Drew sniffs into the air.
DREW: You just farted now, didn't you...
SHAWN: Yes.
DREW: And you look creepy. Good job.
INT. BILL’S MOTHER’S HOUSE
Bill goes into the fridge and gets the pudding bowl with a spoon.
BILL: See, mom. The good thing about being grown up is that I can eat desert before dinner.
BILL’S MOM: Oh Bill. You always did what you wanted, even as a kid.
Bill eats a bite of pudding and then spits it back.
BILL: [BEEP]!! Did Shawn jack off in the pudding again?
Close up on Shawn Phillips looking creepy in the corner.
EXT. WOODS
Bill and his camera crew are walking up to Lynn Lingenfelter’s trailer at night.
BILL: This guy lives in a [BEEP] ing trailer? Is he the guy with aids?
CAMERA GUY: Yes.
BILL: Ewe!
They knock on the door and Lynn answers.
LYNN: Hello!
BILL: Lynn, you won the EAS Competition.
LYNN: Great!
He goes to shake Bill’s hand.
BILL: DON’T touch me aids boy!
EXT. STREET NEW YORK
Bill and Anthony Ellis walk down the street.
ANTHONY: Well, I have been working out for a few years now and I can’t say I am the strongest guy out there, but I can—
BILL: Okay, guy. Hush the mouth. We only chose you because we needed a giga-boo in the running. You know, so we’d be racially balanced. Get it? So can it!
INT. AIRPORT
Brad Wadlow comes walking down the hall with his bags, his girlfriend following him. When he sees the camera and Bill, he gets a smile on his face.
BRAD: Oh WOW! Bill Phillips!
He walks up to Bill and puts out his hand and Bill doesn’t acknowledge him, but instead walks past him and greets his girlfriend.
BILL: Hello there.
GIRLFRIEND: Hello.
BILL: You want a ride in a limo?
GIRLFRIEND: Sure!
BILL: Great.
She takes Bill’s arm and as they walk past Brad, Bill slips him a twenty.
BILL: Only room for two, buddy. Here’s some cab fair.
INT. INTERVIEW
Bill is trying to get his sign off correct.
BILL: At the end, there were ten contestants. And all was…[BEEP]!! It’s supposed to say ALL WERE [BEEP] hole!
TAKE TWO:
BILL: At the end…there…at the…MOTHER [BEEP] ing [BEEP]ing whore!!!!!
TAKE THREE:
BILL: We narrowed it down from thousands…to hundreds…to tens…[BEEP]!!! You [BEEP] ing [BEEP] er! It’s TEN, not TENS!!! Where did we get this guy?
TAKE FOUR:
BILL: Yea, I know we’re filming. But I’m not doing the take until that [BEEP] ing [BEEP] hole leaves the set…I have all day long [BEEP] er.
TAKE FIVE:
BILL: [BEEP] Meterex!
Everyone in the back starts laughing with Bill. Someone in the background says, “That’s a Wrap”.
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