Thread: need an insult far above the norm?

"Thou villainous weather-bitten foot-licker!"

Few ppl know how funny a lot of his stuff is.

You know, when I was in 9th grade we had a project to read a Shakespeare play and perform as our character, my group had 'As You Like It' which I found amusing, but as usual I had a group of numbskulls that I had to decipher every sentence for until they took the joy out of it.

What a brazen faced varlet art thou.

I abhor this dilatory sloth.

No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out countries in her.

What tempest, I trow, threw this whale with so many tons of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor.

I can see his pride peep through each part of him.

If you were men, as men you are in show, you would not use a gentle lady so.

You lisp and wear strange suits.

Why, thou full dish of fool.

O, were mine eye bans into bullets turned, that in a rage I might shoot them at your faces

He has not so much brain as ear wax.

You would answer very well to a whipping.

Thou odoriferous stench, sound rottenness.

No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out countries in her.

Hye RG you could come with the yedish curses, those are always great!

Thou art a johnny.....

Where I come from, those are fighting words!







It's a good thing you're not where I'm from.

"Fish Monger" (Shakespear as well..... Hamlet?)

Originally Posted by gr81

Hye RG you could come with the yedish curses, those are always great!

A Selection of Curses
from Nahum Stutchkoff's Thesaurus of the Yiddish Language
Ale tsores vos ikh hob oyf mayn hartsn, zoln oysgeyn tsu zayn kop.

All problems I have in my heart, should go to his head.

Zol es im onkumn vos ikh vintsh im (khotsh a helft, khotsh halb, khotsh a tsent kheylik).

Let what I wish on him come true (most, even half, even just 10%).

Eyn imglik iz far im veynik.

One misfortune is too few for him.

Finstere leyd zol nor di mama oyf im zen.

Black sorrow is all that his mother should see of him.

Khasene hobn zol er mit di malekh hamoves tokhter.

He should marry the daughter of the Angel of Death.

Shteyner zol zi hobn, nit kayn kinder.

She should have stones and not children.

Azoy fil ritzinoyl zol er oystrinkn.

He should drink too much castor oil.

Oyskrenkn zol er dus mame’s milakh.

He should get so sick as to cough up his mother’s milk.

Oyf doktoyrim zol er dos avekgebn.

He should give it all away to doctors.

Zol er krenken un gedenken.

Let him suffer and remember.

Zalts im in di oygen, feffer im in di noz.

Throw salt in his eyes, pepper in his nose.

Shteyner af zayne beyner.

Stones on his bones.

A kramp (a kram, a kortsh) im in layb (in boyakh, in di kishkes, in di gederem, in di finger).

A cramp in his body (in his stomach, in his guts, in his bowels, in his fingers and toes).

Trinkn zoln im piavkes.

Leeches should drink him dry.

Lakhn zol er mit yashtherkes.

He should laugh with lizards.

Meshuga zol er vern un arumloyfn (iber di gasn).

He should go nuts and run around (through the streets).

A meshugener zol men oyshraybn, un im araynshraybn.

They should free a madman, and lock him up.

A hiltsener tsung zol er bakumn.

He should grow a wooden tongue.

Krugn zol er di (town name here) brokh.

He should get the (town name here) hernia.

Gut zol oyf im onshikn fin di tsen makes di beste.

God should visit upon him the best of the Ten Plagues.

Fransn zol esn zayn layb.

Venereal disease should consume his body.

Farshporn zol er oyf(tsu)shteyn?

Why bother getting up alive?

A kleyn kind zol nokh im heysn.

A young child should be named after him.

Vi tsu derleb ikh im shoyn tsu bagrobn.

I should outlive him long enough to bury him.

Er zol altsting zen, un nit hobn farvos (mit vos) tsu koyfn.

He should see everything, but have no reason (with what) to buy it.

Got zol im bentshn mit dray mentshn: eyner zol im haltn, der tsveyter zol im shpaltn un der driter zol im ba’haltn.

God should bless him with three people: one should grab him, the second should stab him and the third should hide him.

Vifil yor er iz gegangn oyf di fis zol er geyn af di hent un di iberike zol er zikh sharn oyf di hintn.

As many years as he’s walked on his feet, let him walk on his hands, and for the rest of the time he should crawl along on his ass.

Tsen shifn mit gold zol er farmorgn, un dos gantse gelt zol er farkrenkn.

Ten ships of gold should be his and the money should only make him sick.

A groys gesheft zol er hobn mit shroyre: vus er hot, zol men bay im nit fregn, un vos men fregt zol er nisht hobn.

He should have a large store, and whatever people ask for he shouldn’t have, and what he does have shouldn’t be requested.

Hindert hayzer zol er hobn, in yeder hoyz a hindert tsimern, in yeder tsimer tsvonsik betn un kadukhes zol im varfn fin eyn bet in der tsveyter.

A hundred houses shall he have, in every house a hundred rooms and in every room twenty beds, and a delirious fever should drive him from bed to bed.

Ale tseyn zoln bay im aroysfaln, not eyner zol im blaybn oyf tsonveytung.

All his teeth should fall out except one to make him suffer.

In di zumerdike teg zol er zitsn shive, un in di vinterdike nekht zikh raysn af di tseyn.

On summer days he should mourn, and on wintry nights, he should torture himself.

Got zol gebn, er zol hobn altsding vos zayn harts glist, nor er zol zayn geleymt oyf ale ayvers un nit kenen rirn mit der tsung.

God should bestow him with everything his heart desires, but he should be a quadriplegic and not be able to use his tongue.

Migulgl zol er vern in a henglayhter, by tog zol er hengen, un bay nakht zol er brenen.

He should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.

Zayn mazl zol im layhtn vi di levone in sof khoydesh.

His luck should be as bright as a new moon.

Er zol hobn paroys makes bashotn mit oybes krets.

He should have Pharaoh’s plagues sprinkled with Job’s scabies.

Er zol kakn mit blit un mit ayter.

He should crap blood and pus.

Heng dikh oyf a tsikershtrikl vestu hobn a zisn toyt.

Hang yourself with a sugar rope and you’ll have a sweet death.

Es zol dir dunern in boykh, vestu meyen az s’iz a homon klaper.

Your stomach will rumble so badly, you'll think it was Purim noisemaker.

Luke.......(trying to keep from laughing)......WTF is that in your sig? I mean....LMAO.....WHY?

Originally Posted by V Player

Luke.......(trying to keep from laughing)......WTF is that in your sig? I mean....LMAO.....WHY?

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no idea why some are missing

Originally Posted by maniclion

You know, when I was in 9th grade we had a project to read a Shakespeare play and perform as our character, my group had 'As You Like It' which I found amusing, but as usual I had a group of numbskulls that I had to decipher every sentence for until they took the joy out of it.

I'm in 9th grade, and we did the same thing about 2 weeks ago. It would have been easier if I just had to explain every sentance. I had to argue with them about what the sentences ment. I was right every time, but they never thought they were wrong.

Me thinks thou art a shithead.

Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

You are a bore, and a very dull one at that. Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told, you dyslexic lobotomy patient. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if that pimple on your ass hadn't turned out to be a brain tumor; if your weren't so grossly fat that you have to put your belt on with a boomerang, or if you didn't have a face that people rub tree branches on to make ugly sticks. Who am I kidding? You would.
John H.
It sounds like English; it even looks like English, but I can't understand a word you're blabbering. Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.
John H.
Most repair manuals are far more interesting than you, and far less turgid to read. I'd get more pleasure from running my nostrils down a cactus, than reading another contribution from you. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you didn't eat all those paint chips and lead pencils when you were a kid; if your weren't so fat that your local 'All-You-Can-Eat' buffet had to install speed bumps, or if you didn't have a face that makes people ask: "Damn, is it Halloween already?" Nah, of course you would.

I didn't miss those john H's

How are you doin' pretty lady?

more Shakespeare here, they are the best ones i think.

Soft and dull eyed fool.

Why, thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch.

His days are foul and his drink dangerous.

France is a dog hole, and it no more merits the tread of a man's foot.

Boils and plagues plaster you over, that you may be abhorred farther than seen and one infect another against the wind a mile. You souls of geese that bear the shapes of men.

He's a disease that must be cut away.

Heaven truly knows that thou are as false as hell.

Wedded be thou to the hags of hell.

It is certain that when he makes water his urine is congealed ice.

Thou disease of a friend.

There is neither honesty, manhood or good fellowship in thee.

That post is written by something so confused, it doesn't know whether to scratch its watch or wind its ass. In future, kindly proofread your posts before assaulting unsuspecting readers of this message board with a litany of misspellings, egregious grammatical errors, and other verbal atrocities.
John H.( smartypants. smile.)
You read like a gimpzoid teenager splashing spit onto the monitor. Don’t you ever have a point beyond giving your fingers some exercise by dancing them randomly over the keyboard? I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. You've got a big hole in your head, now shut it. When you are at a loss for words, your loss is our gain. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
John H.
You light up a room when you leave it. No doubt your life is so dull, that you can actually write your diary one week in advance. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: take a fatal overdose of your medication. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that you look like The Michelin Man man on steroids, or if your face wasn't so ugly that visitors to the Ugly Palace pay money NOT to see you. Who am I kidding? You would.
John H.
Dullard, do yourself and everyone else a favor, take a fatal overdose of your medication.

Her complexion is like Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept, for why, she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it.

As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

That art sig-worthy.

how true.

Out of my sight, thou dost infect mine eyes.

Never hung poison on a fouler toad.

A most pathetical nit.

From the extremest upward of thy head to the descent and dust beneath thy foot, a most toad spotted traitor.

Out, you mad headed ape. A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen as you are tossed with.

Lets meet as little as we can.

All the infections that the sun sucks up from bogs, fens, flats, on Prospero fall, and make him by inch meal a disease.

Thou art more deep damned than Prince Lucifer.

I know i'm smart

They say space is a dangerous place . . . especially the one between your ears!
The closest she/he'll ever get to a brainstorm is a slight drizzle.

http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/insult.html

Yeah, I hit ctrl-a on every page now

"Thou art a mutha-fucking douche-bag"........always worked for me.......................Uncle Rich

good one Rich. nothing like the classics.

You could throw her in the river and skim ugly* for two days.
*or replace ugly with "avatars of her ass" hehe.

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

You could throw her in the river and skim ugly* for two days.

Sapphy?