Thread: Death By Stupidity.

Bleating and Babbling

(28 January 1999, London)

A flock of sheep charged a well-meaning British farmer's wife and pushed her over a cliff to her death.

Betty Stobbs, 67, was charged by dozens of sheep as she brought them a bale of hay on the back of a power bike. The sheep rushed forward and rammed the vehicle, knocking Betty and her bike over the edge of a vacant 100' quarry near Durham, in northeastern England.

"I saw the sheep surround the bike. The next thing she was tumbling down the incline," neighbour Alan Renfry told reporters.

Her husband is being comforted by friends.




"Bleating and babbling, they fell on his neck with a scream.
Wave upon wave of demented avengers
March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream." (from "Sheep" by Pink Floyd)

Bungee Jumper

(13 July 1997, Virginia)

Eric A. Barcia, a 22-year-old Reston, VA resident, was found dead yesterday after he used bungee cords to jump off a 70ft railroad trestle, police said.

The fast-food worker taped a number of bungee cords together and strapped one end around his foot. Barcia had the foresight to anchor the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, and he even remembered to measure the length of the bungee cords to make sure that they were a few feet short of the 70ft drop. He proceeded to fall headfirst from the trestle, and hit the pavement 70ft below several seconds later.

Fairfax County police said "The stretched length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground."

Hungry Python Kills Owner

(11 October 1996, New York)

A teenager was crushed to death by his pet python after he had failed to keep the snake properly fed, police reported. Grant Williams, 19, was found unconscious in a pool of blood, the life practically squeezed out of him by a 12ft Burmese python named Damien, which was still wrapped over his body. The snake had been given nothing more than a single dead chicken in the past week and may have been crazed by hunger.

Mr Williams was found in the hallway. He may have been trying to escape the flat to summon help. Medical orderlies summoned the strength — of body and of mind — to lift the 45lb, 5in-thick python off Mr Williams and hurl it into an adjacent room, but the snake lover died in hospital. At the time of the attack, Mr Williams was preparing to feed Damien a live chicken. It is possible that the python, peckish, opted for the larger prey. When on the brink of a kill, the Burmese python (Molorus bivattatus) can move with deadly speed, and there are few creatures able to escape its grasp.

Mr Williams may have suspected that his familiarity with Damien placed him above danger, but a hungry python does not quibble about such niceties. Captain Thomas Kelly, from the 46th precinct, said: "It looks accidental." Mr Williams and his brother kept a number of snakes, many uncaged, in their Bronx flat. The dead man's mother, Carmelita Williams, said that she had tried to persuade her son to abandon his hobby. "I begged him to get rid of the python," she said, weeping. "I even threatened to call the police."

Damien was last night caged at an animal control centre, after being fed. Its fate is uncertain.

Jet-assisted Take-off

The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smouldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road, at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and what had happened.

It seems that a former Air Force Sergeant had somehow got hold of a 'J.A.T.O.' unit. 'J.A.T.O. (or 'Jet-Assisted Take-Off') units are actually a solid-fuel rocket used to give heavy military transport planes an extra push for taking-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant had driven his Chevy Impala into the desert, and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the 'J.A.T.O.' unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired off the rocket.

The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows.

The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the 'J.A.T.O.' unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The Impala quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph (350-420kph) and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The automobile remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tyres, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacting the cliff face at a height of 125ft and leaving a blackened crater 3ft deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically, a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading 'How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-CRAP.'

Originally Posted by Lucifer

Priapism Takes a Penis

Doctors warn of a dangerous new method of cocaine abuse: injecting the drug directly into the urinary tract. Physicians from New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center reported the case of a 34-year-old man who suffered severe bleeding under the skin after pumping cocaine into his urethra. It led to complications that destroyed his penis, nine fingers, and parts of his legs. "They fill an eye dropper or a syringe with a cocaine solution and inject it into the penis," said Dr. Samuel Perry, a professor of clinical psychiatry.

The man had injected cocaine before intercourse in an effort to enhance sexual performance. He was admitted to the hospital because his penis had remained erect for three days, resulting in a painful inability to urinate. The medical term for a prolonged erection is "priapism." On his third day in the hospital, the man's erection suddenly subsided. Over the next 12 hours, blood leaked into the tissues of his feet, hands, genitals, back and chest. Blood coagulation caused tissues to die over large areas of the patient's body, and he was transferred to the burn unit of New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center.

Doctors there were forced to amputate the man's legs above the knee and all but one of his fingers to stop the spread of gangrene. The patient's penis fell off by itself. The man is currently recovering in a rehabilitation facility.

Men who inject cocaine into the penis report that it gives them a sexual high. Drug abuse treatment experts have previously reported external use of cocaine as a sexual stimulant. Cocaine powder is rubbed onto the surface of the genital organs by both men and women in an effort to halt premature ejacuation or improve sexual sensations.

"We report this case to alert clinicians to this new method of cocaine abuse and to describe its rare and previously unreported complications," the doctors concluded.

This has actually been done with shit.
By that i mean they take a syrenge and inject shit into the penis...