Help me get canned!!!

**Crono1000** · 05-16-2005, 02:41 PM

I've considered stashing some porno pics from magazines and stuffing them in a bunch of DVD boxes that people are likely to rent along with the movie of course and then just stop going to work. In this case, for a long time the employees will keep having to check inside the boxes before ever renting them to make sure it's not stuffed with porn. In which the customer will see it and be like, "Why the hell was there porn in my movie?"

**musclepump** · 05-16-2005, 02:42 PM

That doesn't seem as memorable

**Lucifer** · 05-16-2005, 02:48 PM

Utelize super glue. Glue the plug into the socket, the tape into the vcr, the play button on... whatever will keep the porno playing the longest.

**Pepper** · 05-16-2005, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by John H.

Hi Crono

While you or anyone else might like to, it would probably be viewed as "assault" and you would be arrested for it. In the good old days you probably would have gotten away with just about anything. Today the criminal "justice" system is hot for money - anyone's - and they do not care how they get it.

Take Care, John H.

I sat on my porch just the other night, rocking in my chair and thinking of the good ole days when a man could piss on his female boss and gotten away with it. What times are these when men cannot piss on ladies?

**rantheman** · 05-17-2005, 04:21 PM

Sing puff the magic dragon while pissingon him. lol

**Lucifer** · 05-17-2005, 04:49 PM

Eat a ton of mexican food followed by a huge dose of laxative. Wear no undies and very loose pants. Walk all around the store in a panic pooping and groaning, talk in tongues, sit in your bosses chair. It will take forever to get the smell out.

**animalmachine** · 05-18-2005, 12:13 PM

I find it best to just go in there and start dealing on your boss and all your annoying co-workers. Say exactly what you think of them directly to their face, and maybe end it with the "Half Baked" scene ("Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out! )

**TheCurse** · 05-18-2005, 12:30 PM

animalmachine beat me to the half baked response

**Vieope** · 05-18-2005, 12:30 PM

Start developing weird tendencies. Like screaming for no reason or whispering to the wall..

**musclepump** · 05-18-2005, 01:07 PM

Every so often when you're helping a customer, just stop and say, "Sorry, we'll have to wait to finish this transaction. I need a break." And see how long you can milk it.

**seven11** · 05-18-2005, 05:06 PM

i got an idea how u should quit........ first wear an old shirt that u dont need, dont camb your hair and show up to work 30 min late.. start working like nutting happend when the manager comfronts u say ur sorry and say that u wanna work hard today, then just sit on the counter all day and dont do a thing. when the manager comes back stand on counter and scream "free sadam" and rip your shirt off. and look into her face and say sweet heart i quit. then if u wanna add in some spice kick the chash register down. and then leave the store put a shirt back on come back and rent a movie...

**seven11** · 05-18-2005, 05:07 PM

i hope that helps

**seven11** · 05-18-2005, 05:08 PM

"patent panding"

**cappo5150** · 05-18-2005, 09:00 PM

just take a crap in the middle of the floor.

**Redsol1** · 05-19-2005, 06:44 AM

O.k. here's one.

Go to www.excaliburfilms.com and print out full size copies of porno DVD covers in color and slip them into the DVD cases on the shelves so the whole store has nothing but Porn. Tell your manager your trying a new marketing plan. Be sure to do the kids section as well.

La'
REdsol1

**darkt** · 05-22-2005, 09:46 PM

this is propably late as hell but free movie rental night. just tell customers to take whatever they want and walk out the front door.

**Todd_** · 05-22-2005, 09:53 PM

go out in a blaze of glory

shoot the hostages

rob them blind

**Burner02** · 05-22-2005, 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by seven11

i got an idea how u should quit........ first wear an old shirt that u dont need, dont camb your hair and show up to work 30 min late.. start working like nutting happend when the manager comfronts u say ur sorry and say that u wanna work hard today, then just sit on the counter all day and dont do a thing. ...

...and this would be different from his normal routine...how?

**Eggs** · 05-23-2005, 07:56 AM

So whats the deal Chronic? You out of a job yet or what?

**Eggs** · 05-25-2005, 09:50 PM

C'mon Crono, I need an update! Have you managed to get fired yet or not?

**irontime** · 05-26-2005, 02:18 PM

Damn, pops beat me to the porn idea

Something else that would be great would be to slip porn movies into family videa cases and vise versa. People looking for winnie the pooh would be getting butt-fuck ville and those looking for a good wank would be getting hard over Tigre

Of course you'd have the problem of swapping a few lables, but I have faith in ya

**maniclion** · 05-26-2005, 02:32 PM

The porn idea is all wrong, sorry, don't fuck with childrens innocence. But what would be cool is to swap porn with chick flicks. Put Anal Whores vol. 7 in place of Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Devil in Miss' Jones in place of Bridget Jones' Diary and some poor schmuck who got dragged into a chick flick evening with his girlfriend or wife will be loving you and the woman will be sure to come back to the store in a raging fit.

**DOMS** · 05-26-2005, 02:54 PM

Just bring in your girl friend a fuck her on the boss' desk. Just don't forget to leave some spooge behind. That stuff will hang around longer than musk oil.

**irontime** · 05-27-2005, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by cfs3

Just bring in your girl friend a fuck her on the boss' desk. Just don't forget to leave some spooge behind. That stuff will hang around longer than musk oil.

Especially if it's comming from Titanya. I'm sure it will stink like a bastard too

**Crono1000** · 06-26-2005, 02:28 PM

ok, I've been ignoring this topic long enough now. As I admitted in the first post wanting to quit was a petty attempt to feel better about not getting the promotion. I've been going on a roller coaster ride with this place, one day I decide I'm gonna just fuck it all and leave, the next I consider "Maybe the place isn't that bad. I just need to change my perception." Pretty much since then I've met somewhere in the middle: had stopped caring for work at all, I've begun openning my mouth alot regarding my distaste for the place (before I thought it best not to let my feelings out in the air), changed my mindset Where I go there just to have somewhere to be for a few hours and talk to some people I know, and check out movies to them occassionally

The bitch that got my promotion is no better than she ever was. She's yapping her damn mouth constantly (usually to the expense of the customers) about her ex boyfriend, oh they got back together, nope now they never see each other, oh they're back together, etc... No one gives a rat's ass!

But here's the new news, and one I'm not too sure how I feel about it. Some info leaked to me that I'm up for an even bigger promotion, one that has benefits, insurance, pays 2.5 X what I make now, and almost looks like a real job! It's strange, because I'm still a student and why would they pick me when the yappy bitch is already higher position than I am?

So maybe I have been recognized, but I don't see why they didn't recognize it when I first created this thread. It doesn't really matter, there's no time in my life for a full time job as a full time student (or will be once the semester starts again), and the possibility of getting it sounds very unlikely to me, but this is why I haven't replied to this thread, cuz I don't know what the hell I wanna do anymore

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