New Speech

**ZECH** · 06-21-2005, 11:20 AM

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

**Decker** · 06-21-2005, 12:15 PM

Sorry dg, a crime is still a crime and all the purple-fingered after-the-fact rationalizations (22 offered by Bush et al) do not change that conclusion. No WMDs, no threat and no legal rationale for war.

Wishful thinking, like the kind in your speech, is about all the war supporters have left. People of good faith and conscience cannot deny that the preponderance of evidence leads to one conclusion: Bush and his cabinet have committed high crimes in the execution of their duties.

NAFTA should be shit-canned but drilling in the arctic is a craven diversion from the real problem facing the US--alternative energy solutions. Good thing Bush eviscerated funding for alt. fuel studies otherwise one might think he's nothing more than a stooge of the oil companies.

**Witmaster** · 06-21-2005, 12:19 PM

I like the speach.

War Protestors and tree huggers be damned.

**maniclion** · 06-21-2005, 02:31 PM

Fine go ahead and continue to plunge those oil cocks into our fair mother, pumping her day in and day out. And cut aid to those poor countries so they get poorer and more can be blamed on us, cause on the global scale we are that multi-billionaire that everyone thinks should be giving away half his wealth cause whats he need all that money for when he could be feeding all of the starving kids, and then this animosity will build until all of the Robin Hood minds decide to rob us blind through terrorism.

**Decker** · 06-22-2005, 08:34 AM

What I don't understand is that all you individuals thriving on truth, justice and the american way wholeheartedly supported the impeachment of Bill Clinton for LYING about an affair yet Bush LIED repeatedly about WMDs and you give him a pass. Isn't the rule of law applicable to all? Where is Justice? No one is above the law.

......except for George W. Bush.

**TJ Cline** · 06-22-2005, 08:46 AM

Where the hell did you find that speech ? I wish things were that simple and that everything America does with foreign aid and a foreign military presence was for helping the Human race. Nice idea but the rose colored glasses are too thick.

**oaktownboy** · 06-22-2005, 10:00 AM

i'm loving that DG..fuck all of those countries who don't support us..no support, no money..seems simple to me

**kbm8795** · 06-22-2005, 10:13 AM

Yeah...great speech. And while we withdraw from the universe to wallow in our self-righteous holier-than-thou illusions, rednecks can protest the empty shelves at their local Wal-Mart when the rest of the world pretends we don't exist too. You won't even be able to purchase a U.S. flag to wrap yourselves in since there will be shortages of products made in China.

**TJ Cline** · 06-22-2005, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by kbm8795

Yeah...great speech. And while we withdraw from the universe to wallow in our self-righteous holier-than-thou illusions, rednecks can protest the empty shelves at their local Wal-Mart when the rest of the world pretends we don't exist too. You won't even be able to purchase a U.S. flag to wrap yourselves in since there will be shortages of products made in China.

Have to give you props again

**SunDust2000** · 06-22-2005, 10:26 AM

Watch Team America. They have a great analogy in there.

**goandykid** · 06-22-2005, 10:29 AM

this hasta be one of the most ignorant/arrogant things i've read ina long long time.

**goandykid** · 06-22-2005, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Witmaster

I like the speach.

War Protestors and tree huggers be damned.

And you're obviously one of those people who jsut assumes if your liberal you're a fucking hippie, but if you look at it, Iraq was NOT a good decision, and neither was electing a dipshit for president.

**oaktownboy** · 06-22-2005, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by goandykid

And you're obviously one of those people who jsut assumes if your liberal you're a fucking hippie, but if you look at it, Iraq was NOT a good decision, and neither was electing a dipshit for president.

u have only ur fellow Americans to blame for that kid

**TJ Cline** · 06-22-2005, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by oaktownboy

u have only ur fellow Americans to blame for that kid

I agree 100% we need a revolution in this country desperately.

**Rocky_B** · 06-22-2005, 01:24 PM

Go Canada

Go Banana!

**irontime** · 06-22-2005, 03:22 PM

Ya, shame on Canada for not joining in this
http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=20097
What the hell is the matter with us?

**Nick+** · 06-23-2005, 11:02 AM

**Decker** · 06-23-2005, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by Nick+

This photo is interesting. Could you picture Sandy Berger in the pic and how much hell would be raised over that b/c he's Clinton Democrat?

**Witmaster** · 06-23-2005, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by goandykid

And you're obviously one of those people who jsut assumes if your liberal you're a fucking hippie, but if you look at it, Iraq was NOT a good decision, and neither was electing a dipshit for president.

Hmmm not exactly, but, you are providing me with some rather excellent examples of the irrational thought processes of the youth of today.

No worries though. One day you (to use your words) fucking liberal hippies will see the proverbial light and pull your heads out of your asses.

**westb51** · 06-23-2005, 03:45 PM

i wonder if saddam ever tried to call mike jones 281 330-8004

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