Thread: My daughter said the funniest thing

Seriously bud, that's not normal. You might want to get that belly button checked out

Why didn´t you go to the ladies bathroom? You had a good excuse there.

Has it been that way since birth? Do you procreate with your navel as well?

.....and shit spews out of my mouth

yes kids say the funniest things. here's one for you. I have two boys now grown thank god. Anyways my oldest was about 4 or 5 years old and My wife and I was at a shopping mall. My wife was pregnet with our second child. It was about a week from Xmas. I saw Santa and decided to let Robert tell santa what he wanted for Xmas. well during his brief chat with Santa Robert decided to tell Santa that his mother was going to have a baby. So Santa replies oh your going to have a brother or a sister. Robert replied Yes a black one.
My wife and I are both White folks. Have no idea where that came from!

And speaking of kids and the uncanny things they say.....

I'm standing at the check-out line at Wal Mart and there is a young mother with a 4 or 5 year old son who is demanding his mother buy him candy. Mom says "no" and the kid starts to throw a severe tantrum. Mom jerks the kid up by the scruff of the neck and says "you better quit it or you'll get a spanking!"

The kid, not to be outdone, then announces at the top of his voice, "Oh YEAH?!? Well I'm gonna tell Grandma that you were sucking daddy's weenie!!!

At that point she abandoned the check-out line; grabbed the kid and her purse and left the store.

Originally Posted by Witmaster

And speaking of kids and the uncanny things they say.....

I'm standing at the check-out line at Wal Mart and there is a young mother with a 4 or 5 year old son who is demanding his mother buy him candy. Mom says "no" and the kid starts to throw a severe tantrum. Mom jerks the kid up by the scruff of the neck and says "you better quit it or you'll get a spanking!"

The kid, not to be outdone, then announces at the top of his voice, "Oh YEAH?!? Well I'm gonna tell Grandma that you were sucking daddy's weenie!!!

At that point she abandoned the check-out line; grabbed the kid and her purse and left the store.

i feel soo sorry for that woman, but that is THE FUNNIEST thing ever!

Funny stories!

Yeah

Holy shit Wit.

Originally Posted by TheGreatSatan

I had my two daughter's with me at Walmart and really had to pee, so I took them in the bathroom and sat them on the ground nearby while I used the stand up pisser. With my back to them, my 5 year old said: "Daddy, why do you pee out of your belly button?"

I almost pissed on myself as I told her not to worry about it.

I'm still traumatized that you sat your kids on the floor of the men's public washroom!

my daughter was less than thrilled she had a sibling on the way, she was quite fond of being an only child. i suppose in an effort to figure out just how many more of these unpleasant surprises were possible she asked me in the grocery store check out line " how many sperms does daddy have left?"

Originally Posted by irontime

Holy shit Wit.

yea, I forgot to mention... I probably didn't help matter much for the poor woman when I spit my coke up all over the floor from laughing so hard.

I can't see how you would be able to do anything otherwise

oh my god, these stories are hilarious!

Originally Posted by Witmaster

And speaking of kids and the uncanny things they say.....

I'm standing at the check-out line at Wal Mart and there is a young mother with a 4 or 5 year old son who is demanding his mother buy him candy. Mom says "no" and the kid starts to throw a severe tantrum. Mom jerks the kid up by the scruff of the neck and says "you better quit it or you'll get a spanking!"

The kid, not to be outdone, then announces at the top of his voice, "Oh YEAH?!? Well I'm gonna tell Grandma that you were sucking daddy's weenie!!!

At that point she abandoned the check-out line; grabbed the kid and her purse and left the store.

now this shit is funny!!!

these kids should be on "kids say the darnest things!" tv show with bill crosby

Agree but half the words would have to be bleeped out

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

these kids should be on "kids say the darnest things!" tv show with bill crosby

Originally Posted by irontime

Seriously bud, that's not normal. You might want to get that belly button checked out

Originally Posted by Witmaster

And speaking of kids and the uncanny things they say.....

I'm standing at the check-out line at Wal Mart and there is a young mother with a 4 or 5 year old son who is demanding his mother buy him candy. Mom says "no" and the kid starts to throw a severe tantrum. Mom jerks the kid up by the scruff of the neck and says "you better quit it or you'll get a spanking!"

The kid, not to be outdone, then announces at the top of his voice, "Oh YEAH?!? Well I'm gonna tell Grandma that you were sucking daddy's weenie!!!

At that point she abandoned the check-out line; grabbed the kid and her purse and left the store.

I wonder if grandma ever found out?

my daughter was 3 when she told my mother " mommy doesn't have pubic hair anymore."

My step sister was about 6 or 7 when she hit a bump on her bike sending her feet off of the peddles and her crotch on the bike frame. She quickly stopped, dropped the bike and ran screaming and crying to her mom, "My nut's, owwwww, boo hoo, my nut's." Her mom say's "girl's don't have nut's." The tears tried up instantly and she said, "oh, then I'm o.k and ran back to her bike."

Originally Posted by maniclion

My step sister was about 6 or 7 when she hit a bump on her bike sending her feet off of the peddles and her crotch on the bike frame. She quickly stopped, dropped the bike and ran screaming and crying to her mom, "My nut's, owwwww, boo hoo, my nut's." Her mom say's "girl's don't have nut's." The tears tried up instantly and she said, "oh, then I'm o.k and ran back to her bike."

Originally Posted by shiznit2169

these kids should be on "kids say the darnest things!" tv show with bill crosby

again now, I dont swear, but they should have an adult version of the show, called "Kids says some funny SH*@" lol...

"ILL TELL GRAMMA YOU WERE SUCKING DADDYS WEINER!!!"

I would have pointed and laughed...

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

my daughter was 3 when she told my mother " mommy doesn't have pubic hair anymore."

That was rather embarrassing wasnt it??

yes it was... she also once walked in the bedroom at age 4 and well saw something she shouldn't have. all activity immediately ceased, she was taken to a local convenience store at two am by an embarrassed daddy in hopes she would soon forget... she didn't seem too phased or interested so i started to relax n think maybe she hadn't seen anything that is until the next day when she got me alone. "why were you kissing daddy's weiner?" hmmm uh oh "well when he got out of the shower he banged it on the door so i was kissing it to make it feel better" long pause, she's still working on the candy from last night. "well" she finally says "it was a long kiss"

Oh My Gosh!!!! Hahahaa!!!