My bowel movement

**irontime** · 06-24-2005, 03:24 PM

My Bowel Movement

Hello my friends, I would like you to sit back as I enthral you with a tale of bravery, sadness, and heroism. You may laugh, you may cry, you may get nerves with anticipation, but you will be amazed.

As I was going about my business, on the final night of the graveyard shift, I felt a disturbance in my stomach. At that moment I thought to myself, what could have brought this on? Was it the one pound burger I ate for dinner? Was it the two litres of beer I consumed with it? Was it the salad for which my stomach is so unaccustomed to the greens? Or was it a combination of all three? Never the less, I was willing, nay, determined to wait until my designated break before I used the facilities.

Alas, my determination would soon falter as the disturbance grew great, almost to the point of agony. Quickly I found someone to replace my post as I rushed to the bathroom. But on the way I had a horrible vision, that I was not going to make it. There is the bathroom door, I don’t know if I can hold it. I’m in the stall, the pain is horrific. Finally, with a burst that shattered the night, I sat down at the exact moment that my bowels let loose and extracted it’s contents.

I sat there in pure pleasure as my sphincter quivered in orgasmic ecstasy, the noxious fumes escaping from my rear were making noises that sounded like the sweetest bird song to thine ears. Not for their tunes, oh no, but for the release of which they represented.

And as I sit there embraced in the moment, I heard the man in the stall next to me hurry up his efforts in order to get away from my not too distant exploits. And I pondered the irony of it all, as what I was experiencing was as close to heaven as one can experience, while the man next to me must surely be going through hell.

Even the wipe itself was ecstasy. As the movement itself was of utter liquid, and it left an itchy soak around my bottom. But I was able to find comfort, even satisfaction, in the cheap toilet paper that I normally curse, but today was a blessing, as the coarseness of it’s quilts delivered a satisfying scratch that is beyond mere words of humanity.

And so I leave you now, as the tale grows to an end. But doubt me not my friends, for it is a true tale as it happened not but yester eve. Alas, I must bid you adieu.

Irontime

**SPIKE1257** · 06-24-2005, 03:28 PM

A little more then we needed to know.

**irontime** · 06-24-2005, 03:29 PM

But a tale that must be shared, for a crime it would be to keep it hidden

**Little Wing** · 06-24-2005, 03:40 PM

hmmm. ok take it a step further. pretend you are william shakespeare n do the whole thing that way.

**GSXR750** · 06-24-2005, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by irontime

I sat there in pure pleasure as my sphincter quivered in orgasmic ecstasy, the noxious fumes escaping from my rear were making noises that sounded like the sweetest bird song to thine ears. Not for their tunes, oh no, but for the release of which they represented.
Irontime

You should be a writer.
Thats funny as hell.

**FishOrCutBait** · 06-24-2005, 03:51 PM

Wow, my question, was it freaking huge?

**maniclion** · 06-24-2005, 03:55 PM

So you admitted to having sexual gratification from anal stimulation and we now know that you have an itchy asshole. At least you can write well, remember William Burroughs and Allen Ginsberg were bisexual so don't feel discouraged.

**Crono1000** · 06-24-2005, 03:58 PM

that was so gay

**Tough Old Man** · 06-24-2005, 05:18 PM

Yes but well put

Originally Posted by Crono1000

that was so gay

**Titanya** · 06-25-2005, 01:10 AM

Originally Posted by Crono1000

that was so gay

indeed... and just imagine the amount of slam material that ripples forth from this completely unasked for confession...

i simply don't know where to start... i think my heads about to explode

**Little Wing** · 06-25-2005, 05:42 AM

thank god it's your head n not your ass. one of these stories is enough.

**irontime** · 06-25-2005, 07:18 AM

I will respond to this post only, assholes

Originally Posted by GSXR750

You should be a writer.
Thats funny as hell.

Why thank you

**irontime** · 06-25-2005, 07:19 AM

And PT's

Originally Posted by Tough Old Man

Yes but well put

Thanx bud, I had a lot of time at work to think about how I was going to word it

**irontime** · 06-25-2005, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

Wow, my question, was it freaking huge?

You're not reading close enough

"As the movement itself was of utter liquid"

**juggernaut** · 06-25-2005, 07:56 AM

well...now i can puke safely.

**The Monkey Man** · 06-25-2005, 08:41 AM

I offer a salute to you,
Your keyboard,
and your derriere!
Good Sir

**Little Wing** · 06-25-2005, 04:01 PM

when all the shithouse poet die
there'll stand erected in the sky
in honor of their sterling wit
a monument of solid shit.

**irontime** · 06-26-2005, 04:00 PM

Not too shabby RG,

We should start our own club

**irontime** · 07-06-2005, 06:19 PM

I'm sorry, I can't let my masterpiece die off just yet.
BUMP

**Decker** · 07-07-2005, 09:03 AM

A tale for the ages. Wow you really enjoy shitting. A fine pasttime. A worthy endeavor. It's like driving, everyone does it, but few do it well. Hat's off sir.

**ALBOB** · 07-08-2005, 09:25 AM

Oh my God NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! My little buddy's been posessed by Duncan.

**THEUNIT(XXL)** · 07-08-2005, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by irontime

My Bowel Movement

I’m in the stall, the pain is horrific. Finally, with a burst that shattered the night, I sat down at the exact moment that my bowels let loose and extracted it’s contents.

I sat there in pure pleasure as my sphincter quivered in orgasmic ecstasy, the noxious fumes escaping from my rear were making noises that sounded like the sweetest bird song to thine ears. Not for their tunes, oh no, but for the release of which they represented.

Even the wipe itself was ecstasy. As the movement itself was of utter liquid, and it left an itchy soak around my bottom. But I was able to find comfort, even satisfaction, in the cheap toilet paper that I normally curse, but today was a blessing, as the coarseness of it’s quilts delivered a satisfying scratch that is beyond mere words of humanity.

Irontime

Oh nice i whas eating wile reading this.
some eggs and stuff. thanx bro

**sdupdike** · 07-08-2005, 10:00 AM

OMG! That was hilarious!

**Jenny** · 07-08-2005, 12:41 PM

It, you outdid yourself once again

**irontime** · 07-08-2005, 04:17 PM

thank you, thank you

**irontime** · 07-08-2005, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by ALBOB

Oh my God NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! My little buddy's been posessed by Duncan.

You never give me credit for anything I do!

**Eggs** · 07-08-2005, 09:43 PM

Ahh, you're such a sick shit IT

Good to see you posting though. Well, aside from the fecal matter stories that is. Whats new over there? Its always funny how there always seems to be somebody in the other stall when you have to take one of those funky shits. Ah well, their loss!

**irontime** · 07-11-2005, 07:24 AM

Hey bud

Glad I could entertain ya

Not much new, just work, working out, and stuff with the honey. So how are you doing in college? Almost through yet?

**ALBOB** · 07-14-2005, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by irontime

You never give me credit for anything I do!

Credit? I thought you'd be thankful I didn't BLAME you.

(It was funny though.

)

**maniclion** · 07-14-2005, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by ALBOB

Credit? I thought you'd be thankful I didn't BLAME you.

(It was funny though.

)

Look, Albob rarely gets the chance to visit anymore and the only thread he visits concerns shit. You miss your old job or what?

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