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Penis Tax
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Thread: Penis Tax
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06-28-2005, 09:18 PM #1Registered User
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Penis Tax
My wife sent me this. It's pretty funny.
================================================== =
Penis Tax
The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that
40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed.
20% of the time it's pissed off,
30% of the time it's hard up,
10% of the time it's in the hole.
On top of all this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.
Accordingly, starting January 1, 2006, Penises will be taxed according to size!!
To determine the category, please consult the chart below and comfirm this information with page 2, section 7, line 3, of the standard 1040p form.
10 to 12 inches* Luxury Tax $50.00
8 to 10 inches Pole Tax $ 30.00
6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax $ 15.00
4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax $ 5.00
PLEASE NOTE: under under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION
* Males exceeding 12 inches must file a Capital Gains form.
Sincerely,
Peter Meter
Pecker Checker,
Internal Revenue Service
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06-29-2005, 08:14 AM #2Senior Member ELITE MEMBER
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06-29-2005, 08:27 AM #3Senior Member ELITE MEMBER
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Originally Posted by TCAP28
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06-29-2005, 10:05 AM #4Registered User
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Hi TCAP, Originally Posted by TCAP28
My wife sent me this. It's pretty funny.
================================================== =
Penis Tax
The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that
40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed.
20% of the time it's pissed off,
30% of the time it's hard up,
10% of the time it's in the hole.
On top of all this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.
Accordingly, starting January 1, 2006, Penises will be taxed according to size!!
To determine the category, please consult the chart below and comfirm this information with page 2, section 7, line 3, of the standard 1040p form.
10 to 12 inches* Luxury Tax $50.00
8 to 10 inches Pole Tax $ 30.00
6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax $ 15.00
4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax $ 5.00
PLEASE NOTE: under under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION
* Males exceeding 12 inches must file a Capital Gains form.
Sincerely,
Peter Meter
Pecker Checker,
Internal Revenue Service
I guess I'll have to pay the luxury tax then. Oh well! And I can't hide what I have no matter how hard I would try so they will not have to search to see...
I guess I'll have to get a third job just to "support"...
Take Care, John H.
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06-29-2005, 10:21 AM #5Registered User
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I was under the impression that Alimony and child support were penis taxes?
I highly recommend all IronMagLabs supplements!
www.ironmaglabs.com
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06-29-2005, 11:16 AM #6Registered User
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06-29-2005, 06:09 PM #7Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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Looks like I'll be taking a dip in some ice water before my next "audit".
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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06-29-2005, 06:36 PM #8Senior Member
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oh boy oh boy. I'm getting a refund
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06-30-2005, 12:44 PM #9Registered User
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Hi Foreman, Originally Posted by ForemanRules
It IS (what you say above) - a "round about tax" though. A direct tax would be a tax on your Penis - no matter whether it does anything - or not. (Ya gotta "think" like the government - that's how they figure how to "tax" us! - they come up with "creative ways"!!!...)
Take Care, John H.
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06-30-2005, 12:46 PM #10Moderator MODERATOR
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I hope it's a flat tax, if they tax me for everytime I use that thing I'm fucked. Then those fuckers would tax me again.
If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...
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06-30-2005, 12:47 PM #11Registered User
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Originally Posted by maniclion
Hi Maniclion,
It won't work for me "unfortunately"!
Nothing - short of cutting it off - would make it "be smaller"... Even after getting drained it still "IS THERE" BIGTIME!!! It CAN NOT "be hidden" 
!!!
Take Care, John H.
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06-30-2005, 12:49 PM #12Registered User
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Hi Dale, Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
"Flattening" it out wouldn't help me either... So I guess I'll get "fucked"??!! Something tells me that an IRS "fucking" would NOT be as "comfortable" as someone DOING it to me - in reality!!! 
Take Care, John H.
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06-30-2005, 05:47 PM #13Senior Member
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where's my refund?
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