god hand

No periods.........

Little Wing

lol funny thread. hmm maybe the best thing about being a guy is women...

"MUSCLE IS TRULY GUARANTEED IF YOU WILL HONESTLY work out to BE YOUR VERY BEST -

GO FOR IT!!! BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!!!!

Take Care, John H."

shiznit2169

sex sex sex, its all about sex

MyK

I dont trust anything that bleeds for a week every month and still lives!!

HANK-VISSER

I don't like being a man. I'm getting an operation

oaktownboy

testosterone...and lots of it

Chuck Norris once lost his keys and couldn't remember where he put them. So he tortured himself for half an hour until he gave up their location.

ihateschoolmt

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
1) Three words: Monday Night Football

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
2) You understand why The Three Stooges are funny.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
3) You know stuff about tanks.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
4) A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
5) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
7) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
8) You can open all your own jars.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
9) Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
10) Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
11) When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every
shot of somebody crying.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
12) Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
13) All your orgasms are real.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
14) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
15) Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the
boards).

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
16) You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
17) Movie nudity is always female.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
18) You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
19) Your last name stays put.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
20) You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
21) When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone
secretly hates you.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
22) You can kill your own food.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
23) The garage is all yours.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
24) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
25) You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
26) Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
27) You never have to clean a toilet.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
28) You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
29) Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
30) Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
31) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still
be your friend.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
32) your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
33) The National College Cheerleading Championship.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
34) You don't have to shave below your neck.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
35) None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
36) You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
37) If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
38) You can write your name in the snow.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
39) You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
40) Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
41) Chocolate is just another snack.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
42) You can be president. (In this lifetime.)

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
43) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
44) Flowers fix everything.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
45) You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
46) You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
47) You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
48) Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
49) You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
50) You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about
what people will think.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
51) Foreplay is optional.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
52) Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
53) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
54) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
55) You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
56) You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
57) Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
58) You don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
59) You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever
thinking "He must be mad at me".

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
60) The world is your urinal.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
61) You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's
about to leave you.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
62) You get to jump up and slap stuff.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
63) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
64) One mood, all the time

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
65) You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
66) You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's
just too skeevy.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
67) you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
68) You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
69) Same work...more pay!

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
70) Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
71) You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch
adjustment.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
72) Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
73) You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
74) With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
75) You don't mooch off others' desserts.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
76) If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
77) The remote control is yours and yours alone.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
78) People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
79) ESPN's SportsCenter.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
80) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
81) Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
82) You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
83) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
84) You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
85) If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell
your other friends you've changed.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
86) Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
87) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
88) If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong buddies.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
89) Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
90) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
91) You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in
the mood.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
92) You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
93) If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer
or throw it across the room.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
94) New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
95) Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
96) You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
97) Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
98) Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice
anything different?"

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
99) Baywatch

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
100) There's always a game on somewhere.

VipeR

amen ^^^

myCATpowerlifts

Holy shit that was an awesome list.

myCATpowerlifts

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
86) Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

that cracked me up.

Reasons it's good to be a guy:
87) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

this saves me a lot