Thread: Grand Theft Auto

I think we need respect in society, but this is only a game.

There is more violence on the nightly news, and internet.

all the hype around this game is merely a distraction from much more important issues.

Can you someone copy and paste Maddox's rant? That guy rules.

I just wanted a video game, not eternal damnation in hell.

So I was sitting around the other day, playing "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas," when suddenly I received an email with an attachment called "hot coffee mod." So I did what I always do when I get programs from strangers in my email: I ran it.

Then I went back to playing the game and didn't notice anything different, except for when I took my in-game girlfriend back home, she now asks "how about a little coffee?" Naturally I got excited, because I was expecting to see a scene with the protagonist, Carl, and his girlfriend, Denise, sipping a tall cup of joe and discussing the finer points of globalization and how cultural distinction will shape future generations. Instead, I was shocked to learn that Denise wasn't talking about a delicious beverage made from roasted beans, but what she was really talking about was SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I thought there was some mistake, this couldn't be the family-friendly carjacking game I thought I knew. Maybe Denise changed into an outfit that just happened to look like the bust of a naked woman. I watched the scene over and over again, carefully analyzing every pixel, but the conclusion was inescapable: Denise was in fact nude. Or at least had a skin colored texture applied to the surface area primitive of her character's model. To prove it, I took a screen capture of the right nipple texture, and enlarged it to show that the game does in fact contain nudity:



You are gazing into the pixels of moral decay.
The creator of the game, Rockstar Games, has stated that it will offer a downloadable patch to fix the sex issue in the PC versions, and is working on a new version of the game that will prevent this content from being unlocked in the future.

Thank God. I'll be the first person to download and patch my PC version of "Grand Theft Auto." I want to shoot people in the face, bang prostitutes, traffic drugs, steal cars, and terrorize police officers without this filthy smut in my game. Frankly, I'm appalled that Rockstar would allow such wholesale corruption of our youth. Years from now when America has become a withered husk of the morality it once stood for, historians will look back at what triggered it all and point to one event: a boolean variable that unlocked a simulated sex scene in a video game.

The game is now being taken off the shelves all over the country and re-labeled with an "AO" rating. This is much stricter than the "M" rating the game originally received. According to the ESRB website:


Titles rated M (Mature) have content that may be suitable for persons of age 17 and older.
As opposed to the stricter AO rating:


Titles rated AO (Adults Only) have content that should only be played by persons 18 years and older.


What pisses me off more than anything is that I paid for a game rated for 17 year olds, or possibly 17 and 1/2 year olds, tops. What I got was a game rated for 18 year olds instead. I must warn you that if you're easily offended, please shield your eyes from what I'm about to unveil to you:



A woman clearly in a heightened state of arousal.
I think it's only fitting for Rockstar Games to go out of business, and all the programmers lose their jobs over this. God bless Hillary Clinton for allocating tax money to have federal regulators investigate "the source of this content," because if she hadn't, consumers might have to go through the trouble of reading the label on the cover of the box.


403,058 children have been irreparably corrupted by the wanton sexuality Rockstar has forced into our homes with the aid of custom software modifications and a handful of access codes that could potentially be used with the purchase of a third party accessory.

.

There are a couple of images that make his quotes hilarious

LMAO! I will have to click that link when I get home (damn Websense!)

Hehe, the pics...

I'd explain them, but it'd be better if you just saw the real thing. I dont wanna ruin the laugh for you.

Originally Posted by Eggs

Hehe, the pics...

I'd explain them, but it'd be better if you just saw the real thing. I dont wanna ruin the laugh for you.

Come on JUSTIN, just buy a real woman and leave the video games alone man, just like your mama told you.

Originally Posted by THEUNIT(XXL)

Come on JUSTIN, just buy a real woman and leave the video games alone man, just like your mama told you.

I dont have to buy a real woman. And I told you, your Mom wasnt worth the $.25 I spent. But those days are long gone, and so is she.

See what all the hype is about here.

Maddox's response is hilarious.

I love Maddox.

Originally Posted by Eggs

I dont have to buy a real woman. And I told you, your Mom wasnt worth the $.25 I spent. But those days are long gone, and so is she.

So after paying her for ten years straight you can do it for free man that's cool for you man.
And my mom is not worth $.0000001 but you end up paying the bitch!! hahahaha stupid mofo. ALL THE MONEY GO'S STRAIGHT IN TO MY POCKET!!!!
COM ON EVERYBODY: ALL THE MONEY..........

Originally Posted by THEUNIT(XXL)

So after paying her for ten years straight you can do it for free man that's cool for you man.
And my mom is not worth $.0000001 but you end up paying the bitch!! hahahaha stupid mofo. ALL THE MONEY GO'S STRAIGHT IN TO MY POCKET!!!!
COM ON EVERYBODY: ALL THE MONEY..........

Ten years... hey, that was waaaay back when.

Is that you son?

Originally Posted by Eggs

Ten years... hey, that was waaaay back when.

Is that you son?

What is wrong with you man learn to read bitch!!!
now read it again.
stupid motherfucker.

Exactly... when everybody was paying for that shit, it was way back when. Back when she was alive.

Or does your comprehension of English not go quite that far?

Congratulations... after what everyone was paying her, you should have about $1.50. Why dont you take yourself on vacation again.

Originally Posted by Eggs

Exactly... when everybody was paying for that shit, it was way back when. Back when she was alive.

Or does your comprehension of English not go quite that far?

Congratulations... after what everyone was paying her, you should have about $1.50. Why dont you take yourself on vacation again.

MAN YOU CAN HAVE THAT BITCH.
I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
SO IF YOU WANT TO TALK SHIT, TALK SOMETHING ELSE BECAUSE NOW YOU JUST LOOK STUPID.

my son tried to play my GTA, but I caught him

AG
www.ag-guys.com

Originally Posted by ag-guys

my son tried to play my GTA, but I caught him

AG
www.ag-guys.com

How old is he?