Thread: The Best Lie You Ever Told..... A Girl.

Oh man...when I was in university (over ten years ago) I actually had two girlfriends for two years and then for about six months I added a third for a while. Two of them knew even so they weren't a problem but one had NO idea and required a lot of creative management.

One time I got confronted by two of them at a coffee shop (a total setup by one planning on getting the other to break up with me). A complete mess and one ran out crying. The other one stayed there and asked me if I was fucking her. My answer?

"No, because she wants to stay a virgin until marriage" Thinking on my feet!

I actually found that being honest was better and got me laid more - if a girl I was trying to pick up asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said I had two they would usually laugh and go home with me anyway. Weird.

when I was 15 I told my Mom i wasn't smoking weed!!

Originally Posted by MyK

when I was 15 I told my Mom i wasn't smoking weed!!

so you want to fuck your mom?

Honest baby, I won't cum in your mouth.

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

so you want to fuck your mom?

ohh shit!! I didn't read the first post thoroughly!!!

how embarrassing!!!



note to self - make sure to read posts in there entirety!

I'll have to think about this one...

I've never been a big liar. But, I'm a veteran professional, at telling vague half-truths
(The kind where you don't lie,
but only tell part of the actual story which is true)

...

Originally Posted by MyK

when I was 15 I told my Mom i wasn't smoking weed!!

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

so you want to fuck your mom?

Absolutely priceless.

Give Mom our regards!

I and a friend of mine once spent the summer with my brother on an Air Force base In arizona. While there I convinced this girl and many of her friends that I was from England and I was trying to raise money in order to get my credentials straightend out so I could stay in the country.

They went to their moms and dads and raised about 600 bucks which I and my friend gladly took and partied on for the summer.

Summer over it was back to Arkansas. I guess they thought I was from Southern England..

Pip! Pip! and Cheerio, Yawl....

I did not have sexual relations with that women!

Originally Posted by ponyboy

Oh man...when I was in university (over ten years ago) I actually had two girlfriends for two years and then for about six months I added a third for a while. Two of them knew even so they weren't a problem but one had NO idea and required a lot of creative management.

One time I got confronted by two of them at a coffee shop (a total setup by one planning on getting the other to break up with me). A complete mess and one ran out crying. The other one stayed there and asked me if I was fucking her. My answer?

"No, because she wants to stay a virgin until marriage" Thinking on my feet!

I actually found that being honest was better and got me laid more - if a girl I was trying to pick up asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said I had two they would usually laugh and go home with me anyway. Weird.

I give you props for pulling that off for 2 years! That is a long time.

I don't know if the lie is actually the bad thing, but I once cried to get sex. I had sex with this girl on a Friday night and came back on Saturday for a return engagement. So, I show up at like 2am and try to make my move and she says that she had never had a one night stand before so she felt bad. I told her that it wouldn't be a one night stand if we did it that night. She continued to say she felt bad and, noticing my attempts were being rebuffed and the likelihood of getting sex was diminishing, I turned to the side and covered my face, acting like I felt bad. 30 seconds later, I managed to get 2-3 tears to splurt out and then sobbed and said I was so upset that I made her feel whorish. 5 minutes later I was getting sex and 2 minutes after that I was done. It wouldn't be until about 5 years later that I would realize that I am everything man-hating lesbians hate about men and then some.

Alright here's the best I could come up with...

Some years ago...

I wanted to go to Vegas with the girl I was seeing

I arranged it, hammering out all details


Later my buddy expressed interest in going also
so I asked her
(because she had a standard cab pickup and it would be cramped)

She said OK...

So later she got called into work, with no way to get out of it!
She told me to take her truck, and have a good time.
(I loved to drive her ride)

So now Its me, this guy, and eventually,
his roomate's x-girlfriend, wants to go

The plot thickens - (Scary)

So I just keep my mouth shut and
don't say anything till we are ready to leave...

The day comes, I get the keys, go to get my buddy,

& he's passed out, puking, hung over! -

He went out the night before got shitfaced and spent all his money -

So the girl shows up... And I am ready to call the trip off...

NOPE...

Her and I go, and have a riot of a weekend
(We really hit it off)

So when we get back, my girl see's this chick getting out of her truck,
and she spotted the other guy there, while we were away...

She was pissed!...
(But I didn't lie to her about taking the other girl... just never told her..)

It was over!

But, I hooked up proper with the other girl like 2 or 3 days later -
(win some, lose some)

The 2nd girl eventually became my wife - (Now-X)

I still have pictures of us in front of casino's and stuff, with the truck -

she should have ran over you w that truck.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

I don't know if the lie is actually the bad thing, but I once cried to get sex. I had sex with this girl on a Friday night and came back on Saturday for a return engagement. So, I show up at like 2am and try to make my move and she says that she had never had a one night stand before so she felt bad. I told her that it wouldn't be a one night stand if we did it that night. She continued to say she felt bad and, noticing my attempts were being rebuffed and the likelihood of getting sex was diminishing, I turned to the side and covered my face, acting like I felt bad. 30 seconds later, I managed to get 2-3 tears to splurt out and then sobbed and said I was so upset that I made her feel whorish. 5 minutes later I was getting sex and 2 minutes after that I was done. It wouldn't be until about 5 years later that I would realize that I am everything man-hating lesbians hate about men and then some.

this one is funny tho. lol.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

I am everything man-hating lesbians hate about men and then some.

You're also everything straight men hate about gay men.

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

she should have ran over you w that truck.

She should have put our relationship before work...

She could have gotten someone to cover for her...

(I found out later)

well life can't all be time in the sandbox. sometimes work is more important than playtime. i can respect a person with strong work ethics n i think retirement with them would be more secure and there should be more money to have your fun with then.

how much did the divorce cost u? probably worse than being run over w the truck.

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

how much did the divorce cost u?

ZERO -

Originally Posted by rockgazer69

well life can't all be time in the sandbox. sometimes work is more important than playtime. i can respect a person with strong worth ethics n i think retirement with them would be more secure and there should be more money to have your fun with then

We were 21 years old !? -

Besides, she was "ALL" about money, people like that never change.-
(They can't enjoy retirement)





It doesn't matter...
both those girls are FAT now -

I was terrible when I was in the Navy. I would tell some girl I met that my ship would be gone for a month even if it were in dry dock just to avoid seeing her or I would go out to a bar and make a sob story about how my ship was leaving for 6 month's and I wouldn't see a woman the whole time. At one point I had 2 women on my roster the same weekend so I had to get 2 hotel rooms luckily one had to work nights so I was able to manage but the other had the whole weekend off I had to tell her a friend was having a bachelor party, spent the day with the other one at the beach and then came home kind of wasted and had to entertain the other one that night avoiding bringing her to the bar the other one was working at. The next day I had a fake brunch with the boys leaving the non working one to go shopping most of the afternoon giving her a least of things to buy for that evening that I knew she could only get at certain places that way I could avoid wondering near. I spent that afternoon sleeping and fucking the other and then she went into work and I dashed to my other room to pretend I'd been there a few hours sleeping, She came and had all of the stuff and I cooked us up some grub and then proceeded to get her wasted so she would pass out and I could sneak out to visit the other one at her work to tell her I might not make it in that night, to give the keycards to the front desk when she checked out, because I was going out with the guys for an all nighter and then straight to the ship so I wouldn't have to wake up so early to get to work. Then I went to the sleeping one and passed out and didn't get up until noon the next day with no worries because I had that whole week off.

Originally Posted by maniclion

I was terrible when I was in the Navy. I would tell some girl I met that my ship would be gone for a month even if it were in dry dock just to avoid seeing her or I would go out to a bar and make a sob story about how my ship was leaving for 6 month's and I wouldn't see a woman the whole time. At one point I had 2 women on my roster the same weekend so I had to get 2 hotel rooms luckily one had to work nights so I was able to manage but the other had the whole weekend off I had to tell her a friend was having a bachelor party, spent the day with the other one at the beach and then came home kind of wasted and had to entertain the other one that night avoiding bringing her to the bar the other one was working at. The next day I had a fake brunch with the boys leaving the non working one to go shopping most of the afternoon giving her a least of things to buy for that evening that I knew she could only get at certain places that way I could avoid wondering near. I spent that afternoon sleeping and fucking the other and then she went into work and I dashed to my other room to pretend I'd been there a few hours sleeping, She came and had all of the stuff and I cooked us up some grub and then proceeded to get her wasted so she would pass out and I could sneak out to visit the other one at her work to tell her I might not make it in that night, to give the keycards to the front desk when she checked out, because I was going out with the guys for an all nighter and then straight to the ship so I wouldn't have to wake up so early to get to work. Then I went to the sleeping one and passed out and didn't get up until noon the next day with no worries because I had that whole week off.

RG? -

I won't post mine cause then I would get it from all of you dudes out there and never hear the end of it.

Tough

Let me put it in your butt, girl. I SWEAR it won't hurt.

That's a good one Flex. Think we all have told them that

Originally Posted by Flex

Let me put it in your butt, girl. I SWEAR it won't hurt.

Originally Posted by Tough Old Man

That's a good one Flex. Think we all have told them that

Another good one is....

"Bitch, get the FUCK outta here!!!.........and make me a FUCKIN sandwich on the way out!"

(oh wait, that wasn't a lie. I actually say that)

"I love you."

Pre-marriage, I would travel for business and anytime I would see a good looking woman at the front desk, I threw on my amazingly convincing and quite sexy, if I may say so myself, Australian accent. It's never been debunked. I can use it perfectly for entire speeches if I want, flawlessly (lots of practice). This worked for two reasons: One being that women love handsome guys with accents. Two being that they never questioned my US home address when I would say it was the address of an outsourcing business I work with but had never been to (so they could never come find me). And, as all men know, when you get a woman wrapped up in a good story about yourself, they never ask for your ID.

Originally Posted by musclepump

Pre-marriage, I would travel for business and anytime I would see a good looking woman at the front desk, I threw on my amazingly convincing and quite sexy, if I may say so myself, Australian accent. It's never been debunked. I can use it perfectly for entire speeches if I want, flawlessly (lots of practice). This worked for two reasons: One being that women love handsome guys with accents. Two being that they never questioned my US home address when I would say it was the address of an outsourcing business I work with but had never been to (so they could never come find me). And, as all men know, when you get a woman wrapped up in a good story about yourself, they never ask for your ID.

Oh, which reminds me...

I've never been to Australia. So imagine my surprise when I get one particular woman up to my room with things coming off quite smoothly, and suddenly she asks me about some surf shop on Manly beach.

Oops.

Originally Posted by The Monkey Man

RG? -

can you run over someone with a ship???? lol.