Thread: the truth is out there

clever. have her response by any chance?

Originally Posted by TheCurse

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

I think Some smart Lad will explain to you very soon that Christ/Jesus and the Holy spirit do not endorse slavery.........you just don't understand the bible.

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

you just don't understand the bible.

It is like .."Oh, dont take that literally" then yeah "adam and eve alright"
Btw can someone post the original parts of the bible? I don´t have one.

when will this religious shit stop!

Originally Posted by MyK

when will this religious shit stop!

Originally Posted by TheCurse

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her Radio show. On her radio show recently, she
said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an
abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under
any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura,
penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny,
as well as thought-provoking.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? They are the lowest of the low, you don't want them touching your shit. Cept for the hot women, they can touch one thing.

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her? How big are her breasts?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do
I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. Typically by the taste, in certain circumstances it can be done by smell

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbours.
They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? Always face your alter upwind.

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? Yes, he should be killed, but not because he toils on the sabbath. Kill him because he works on football day.

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? This is just a misinterpration of the wording. In the days of the bible, eating and cunnilingus were one in the same. So you may eat shellfish, but not perform cunnilingus on one.

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here? This rule only applies if you went blind via masturbation.

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev
19:27. How should they die? This is another misinterpretation. When referring to the temple, we weren't referring to the temple on your more northerly head, we were referring to the southerly head. Those who trim their pubes should be slain.

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? Any rule or regulation governing football superceds the bible, you should know this.

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to
curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
(Lev.24:10-16). Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14) Another misinterpretation, you don't stone a man like this, you GET stoned with a man like this.

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan

Gene Grigson
Security guard

Responses embedded.

hahaha

lol @ dale