Thread: Are you a Democrat? Republican? Or, a southern Republican?

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans,
and southern Republicans?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be
found by posing the following word-problem:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock
cal. 40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do
you do?
____________

Democrat's Answer:
Well, there's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Where is his sense of community?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have the appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9 1 1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint
& weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
a few days and try to come to a consensus.

____________
Republican's Answer:
BANG!

_____________
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click ... (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter's voice: "Nice grouping, Daddy!"

i guess im southern republican. even though im from the pacific northwest and i dont think incest is in the best interest of society