kbm8795

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is rapidly becoming the fastest growing religion in the United States as increasing numbers of Americans continue to embrace the true meaning of our spiritual existence.

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kbm8795

Millions are beginning to experience the deep understanding that only comes to humanity through being touched by the appendage of the FSM.

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NGC-8675m.jpg (45.0 KB, 29 views)

TJ Cline

My buddy is a teacher and he was just telling me about this.....funny as hell.

kbm8795

The Church, started by young spiritual leader Bobby Henderson, has established a belief that the FSM heaven is far superior than that imagined by other religions:

1) Flimsy moral standards.

2.) Every friday is a religious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.

3) Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano



pic by Jannsen

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kbm8795

When you become converted to pastafarianism, you too will find the delights of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will enhance your life and fill your heart with joy. Here you may practice testing your skills at converting people to the true belief in FSM. . .the Creator of All.

http://www.venganza.org/games/index.htm

maniclion

If they can make it a ritual to "come to work and sit at your desk in a trance for 4 hours in the morning without being bothered" I'll join.

TJ Cline

In the beginning there was the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(Filed: 11/09/2005)

In recent weeks, a satirical attack on the teaching of Creationism in American schools has become the world's fastest growing 'religion'. The Noodly Saviour looked at the furore He had created and pronounced it good, writes James Langton
A parody of the Sistine Chapel paintings

For a growing band of devoted followers, He is the Supreme Being; creator of the universe and all living things. To the rest of us, the Flying Spaghetti Monster looks like a giant heap of pasta and meatballs topped with eyeballs on stalks. As it turns out, both interpretations are correct.

In the past few weeks, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has become perhaps the world's fastest-growing "religion" and maybe its most improbable. While no one can be sure of the exact numbers of "Pastafarians", as acolytes are called, they may number in the millions.

All of which has come as something of a shock to Bobby Henderson, an unemployed physics graduate from Oregon. According to Mr Henderson, the FSM - as His Noodliness is sometimes known - "revealed himself to me in a dream". Like most mysterious prophets, Mr Henderson communicates with the outside world only occasionally, although this may be more to do with having only one telephone line to his home in the small town of Corvallis and a Google e-mail account swamped by hundreds of messages every day.

Not that he ever saw himself as a rival to Mohammed or Abraham. The divine inspiration that came to the 25-year-old one night earlier this year was originally intended as a satire on attempts by some Christian groups to change the way evolution is taught in science classes in some American schools.

In particular, Mr Henderson was taking aim at the concept of Intelligent Design, or ID, which provides a supposedly scientific alternative to the Old Testament belief that God created the world in six days and nights, but which dismisses most of the fossil record as false and which relies on the Earth being far younger than geological evidence shows.

Supporters say the universe is so complex that it can only be the work of a higher intelligence. They are pushing to have it taught in science lessons as an alternative to Darwin's theory of natural selection. It has the support of many leading conservatives, including Senator Bill Frist, the Senate majority leader, and President Bush, who has said ID has a place in the classroom "so people can understand what the debate is all about".

But while the "theory" relies on the existence of a god, it does not specify which god. It was only when the state of Kansas announced earlier this year that its schools could teach ID in science classes that the Flying Spaghetti Monster made Himself widely known.

In an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in July, Mr Henderson wrote: "I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

"I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster."

He ends his letter with the telling comment: "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

To support his account, he added a crudely drawn picture of the deity "creating a mountain, trees and a midget" and, as an afterthought, posted the whole thing on his website.

Barely three months later, Mr Henderson has discovered that he really has created a monster. His website - www.venganza.org - receives as many as two million hits a day. It has been featured on several widely read blogs, one of which is offering a $1 million (£545,000) prize for "proof" that the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist.

Some of the faithful have created images of their Divine Saucy Leader, including one that reproduces Michelangelo's Creation of Adam, but with the image of the creator replaced by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Some "Pastafarians" speak of the rapture that they felt when first touched by "His Noodly Appendage" or offer prayers that end with the word "ramen" - as in the Japanese noodle - rather than "amen". Others may have been drawn by a vision of Heaven that includes a stripper factory and a beer volcano and what its founder calls the church's "flimsy moral standards".

In addition, according to the creed of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, every Friday is a religious holiday, while true believers are urged to dress as pirates because of their founder's discovery of a causal relationship between global warming and a decline in the number of buccaneers in the past 200 years.

The serious message behind FSM, however, is not lost amid its bizarre mythology. Kansas has long been a battlefield between America's religious right and supporters of Darwin. In 1925, the Scopes Monkey Trial saw the state's unsuccessful attempt to stop the teaching of any aspect of evolution, including the theory that man and apes share a common ancestor.

More recently, conservatives have taken control of the state's board of education, pushing through a review of science teaching by a majority of six to four votes. The board is expected to endorse the teaching of ID next month, and other states are thinking of following suit.

Only three members of the Kansas School Board have replied to Mr Henderson's appeal to have Flying Spaghetti Monsterism placed on the curriculum - all of whom are opponents of ID, which they see as Creationism dressed up as a pseudo-science.

"I will add your theory to a long list of alternative theories I intend to introduce when it is appropriate,'' wrote one, Sue Gamble. "I am practising how to do this with a straight face which is difficult since it's such a ridiculous subject; it is also sad that we are even having the discussion."

It is a sentiment that Mr Henderson shares. "I don't have a problem with religion," he says. "What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he's intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humour."

In his original appeal to Kansas, the physicist demanded that his pseudo-religion be given equal time in the classroom with both evolution and Intelligent Design. If rejected, he has promised to take legal action, with an offer of free help from at least one lawyer. Pedro Irigonegaray, who defended the teaching of evolution at the school board hearing earlier this year, says: "I have made myself available to the Spaghetti Monster as counsel of record, at no charge."

Of the thousands of e-mails Mr Henderson has received, he says that about 95 per cent have been supportive, while the other five per cent "have said I am going to hell".

One wrote: "It is interesting that evolution advocates use derision and sarcasm to deal with those who believe Intelligent Design." Another said: "I pray for mercy for you as you seem to feel so comfortable hurting and mocking the very creator who gave you the ability to do such. It's a little ironic."

Meanwhile, true believers can now order souvenirs from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website, including T-shirts from $13.99 (£7.50), a coffee mug and a car bumper sticker. Mr Henderson says the proceeds may be used to fund the campaign or, in the best tradition of dubious cult leaders, to buy a yacht that he has long fancied. If the sales really take off, it may also help him avoid having to take up his only job offer so far since leaving Oregon State University - programming slot machines in Las Vegas.

Other recent developments include the discovery of a toasted cheese sandwich miraculously bearing the image of His Noodliness that sold for $41 (£22) in an eBay auction and a hymn whose tune at least will be familiar to members of the Women's Institute or England cricket fans. The chorus runs:

"Bring me my bowl of pasta gold!

Bring me my meatballs of desire!

Bring me my sauce with herbs untold!

Bring me my bolognese of fire!"

As for whether there will still be Pastafarians in 2,000 years from now, there are already signs of trouble ahead. Some of the faithful question whether their Noodly Saviour might be made of linguini rather than spaghetti. Such people, Mr Henderson says, "give me a headache".

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TJ Cline

OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.





Get Involved!

The addresses, phone, fax, and emails for the Kansas School Board can be found here. Contact them, and ask that they respond to my letter.

I am hearing reports that some of the members are using email auto-responders. I suggest faxing them. Faxes are harder to ignore.

Contact the media, tell them you support Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. They can't ignore us forever.

Want to help further? Check out the help page and contact me if you can help out on any of those

Attached Images

him2.jpg (14.1 KB, 65 views)

TJ Cline

Bow down before the true God!

DOMS

I don't care who it is, I'm not bowing down before anyone's noodle!!!

Dale Mabry

Oh my, this is certain to upset Stephen.

If sense were common, everyone would have it.

4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

Chain Link

This is great!

*Edited to add*
Hey! I just ate pasta!
How does the noodlie one look upon this act? Is eating pasta the equivelent of one of those hindu guys eating cow, or am I accepting god into my life

Eating pasta = baptism by pasta, perhaps?

FishOrCutBait

I dont like FSM, its too high GI for me...

I believe in Jesus.

"tried and true theory on one's self is probably the only non-biased proof that something works for someone." - juggernaut

FishOrCutBait

Well then. Thats all Ill say about that.

I believe in Jesus.

"tried and true theory on one's self is probably the only non-biased proof that something works for someone." - juggernaut

MuscleM4n

what is the deal with this speghetti and meatballs thing?

People think it is a God?

Age 19, Weight 132lbs , height 5'4", 8% bodyfat, 100% natural.

Deadlift - 274lbs (NEW PB 9/8/2005)
Squat - 274lbs (NEW PB 19/8/2005)
Bench press - 154lbs
Total - 702lbs @ 132lbs
My Website
Full Body Pictures 26/9/2005
My Journal! - Progress pictures 28/8/2005
Paint bodybuilder
"Bodybuilding is a marathon not a sprint".

Originally Posted by P-funk:
"eat for size, train for strength".

MuscleM4n

Is this picture for real?

Was it actually taken of space?

If so it is a werid picture yes but nothing special because just looks like two planets/rock things and some nebula in the background.

Attached Images

NGC-8675m.jpg (45.0 KB, 7 views)

Age 19, Weight 132lbs , height 5'4", 8% bodyfat, 100% natural.

Deadlift - 274lbs (NEW PB 9/8/2005)
Squat - 274lbs (NEW PB 19/8/2005)
Bench press - 154lbs
Total - 702lbs @ 132lbs
My Website
Full Body Pictures 26/9/2005
My Journal! - Progress pictures 28/8/2005
Paint bodybuilder
"Bodybuilding is a marathon not a sprint".

Originally Posted by P-funk:
"eat for size, train for strength".

busyLivin

just the latest atheist attack. I think it's funny that Atheists find the need to make fun of religion, like it supports their case in anyway.

class Liberalism
{
public void main(){
while (1 != 2)
{ Bitch(); Moan(); BlameBush(); }}
}

TJ Cline

Actually if you to read all the posts or were current with what is happening in some schools/states you would see that it is a satirical attack on the teaching of Creationism in American schools .

busyLivin

Someone should create a picture of the fish eating one of the meatballs.

class Liberalism
{
public void main(){
while (1 != 2)
{ Bitch(); Moan(); BlameBush(); }}
}

DOMS

Better yet, combine that picture with some good old fashion Japanese Tentacle Rape.

Now that's a religion!

TJ Cline

busyLivin

class Liberalism
{
public void main(){
while (1 != 2)
{ Bitch(); Moan(); BlameBush(); }}
}

MuscleM4n

the meatballs also resemble testicles.

Age 19, Weight 132lbs , height 5'4", 8% bodyfat, 100% natural.

Deadlift - 274lbs (NEW PB 9/8/2005)
Squat - 274lbs (NEW PB 19/8/2005)
Bench press - 154lbs
Total - 702lbs @ 132lbs
My Website
Full Body Pictures 26/9/2005
My Journal! - Progress pictures 28/8/2005
Paint bodybuilder
"Bodybuilding is a marathon not a sprint".

Originally Posted by P-funk:
"eat for size, train for strength".