Thread: I Think I'm Making A Mistake~!

Originally Posted by Tough Old Man

The last few days i have hit hard on a lot of the teens on this board. I think this has been a mistake. I have read where some have done some minor things at school and ended up with issues with the schools administration.

PT

Its also illegal

I think there is a difference between discipline and abuse. In my youth, my parents were both verbally and physically abusive. I'm not talking about a spanking if I did something wrong, I mean getting beat at their whim.

Does that mean my parents were "old school?" Does that mean I think it was a good way to be raised and will employ the same tactics when I have kids? Hell no. Learn from the past and the mistakes of your parents. Realize that kids do stupid things, as you did too. Discipline is needed, spanking (in the right circumstances) is okay, just know when to draw the line.

Old school was better Tough, the kids nowadays growing up fucked up.

Originally Posted by min0 lee

Old school was better Tough, the kids nowadays growing up fucked up.

I've never been spanked in my life. Mom never touch me. She just waited tell dad got home. He took care of business. Listen you all. Dad was tough and mean. He didn't take shit from anyone. If he kicked my ass then I had it coming. You young guys just don't understand. His ass kicking taught me right from wrong.
Now I'm going to tell you one more thing. The last time my dad touched me I was 13 years old and in my first year of high school. That's right I was 13 and my first year in high school and I graguated when I was 16 and a half years old. I started Mt. San Antonio College when I was 17 and my major was Police Science. I figured out it was better to be a kid and have fun, then be a asshole and get my ass kick.
I love my father who passed away in 1997 and everything he ever did to me I had coming. I passed this disipline on to my boys and if you think they hate the old man now from being mean, ask Mr. Lam how they feel about me, He has met them both.

When it gets physical, kids will remember it much longer. I can't recall what my parents said to me in our worst verbal altercation when I was growing up, but I'll never forget the day my dad broke a coffee cup over my head.

Originally Posted by min0 lee

Old school was better Tough, the kids nowadays growing up fucked up.

our society here in the US has become pussified

Originally Posted by min0 lee

Old school was better Tough, the kids nowadays growing up fucked up.

Myself versus my youngest brother, attest to that.

Old school ruled.

My father quit spanking me at age 10, he would just ground me for long periods of time. He would empty my room of any toys or video games and dump the entire set of encyclopedias on my floor and make me read them. He also made sure I had 2 library books checked out at all times, I remember being grounded for 6 weeks one time and I had a book of Bob Dylan's lyrics and poetry I must have read it a dozen times. I'm more thankful for those long hours spent absorbing knowledge than I would have been if he'd beat me one day and I'd had thos other times to fuck off like a punk ass teenager does. My father told me once while we were drunk and I had just come back from the Gulf on leave from the Navy that he had always respected me so much as a teen he never thought of hitting me once. He said he didn't want to, in anyway, break my spirit. Now my little brother was another story he is a sneaky conniving little shit and really didn't learn his lessons by spending time reflecting on shit so my Dad had to tan his hide all the way up until he turned 16, the day my Brother swung back, then it was, "If you think you're man enough to hit your Father then you're man enough to feed, clothe and house yourself." Of course my bro moved in with my Mom who was the weakest disciplinarian ever, hell she couldn't even raise her voice at you without laughing.

I think Spanking should be made illegal and under no circumstance that it should be used! I support the Anti-Child Abuse laws strongly and anyone who breaks them should have the keys to their cell removed.

Different people respond to different things.

Corporal punishment is justified in civilizing young children who cannot reason adequately. Carrying corporal punishment beyond the age of reason is abusive and indicates weak parenting skills. Hitting a pre-teen (or older) kid can create insurmountable resentment towards the violent parent...who may find their ass in an old-age home later in life.

Originally Posted by Mudge

Different people respond to different things.

Here's a good one for you. My boys are about 11 and 9. My ex wife makes a pie about 1pm which is for dinner. So her and I are going to run across the street to her sisters house. We tell the boys to leave the pie alone. About an hr later we come back to the house, I open the refrig and the pie has been cut and a piece eaten.
So I gather the two boys and said ok one of you had your piece and your not getting a slice with dinner. Ok which one of you ate it. I didn't daddy, me neither. This goes on for about 15 min's. Now I'm getting mad and I put them in the corner until one of them tells me who had the pie. That was around 3 pm. I had to leave for work at 11 pm and can you believe it I said ok that's enough off to bed you go. That was at 11pm. You should of seen those two dancing in the corners for 8 fucking hours with there feet hurting.
These boys of mine are now 33 and 31 and to this day they still won't tell me who had a slice of that pie. Hell maybe they can't as maybe they split a piece. Guess I'll never know.


Tough

I'm on the fence with this one. Most kids could use a good slap from what I have seen. I guess I lean more towards spanking, the way I figure it, a slap I give them today for doing something stupid might spare them getting shot somewhere down the road for doing the same shit to someone else.

My father disciplined me, but I guess it goes along with the what Decker said, I was spanked until i knew better, then I was grounded and had allowance withheld and stuff when I grew up.

Damn man those some hard headed kids man!
for eight hours? damn that's a long time for a kid to sit still, I mean most don't even sleep that long.

You know what lesson I would have learned from being sent to the corner for 8 hours for eating a slice of pie? I would have ate the whole damn pie instead.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

You know what lesson I would have learned from being sent to the corner for 8 hours for eating a slice of pie? I would have ate the whole damn pie instead.

when it first happened it really wasn't a big deal. The one that ate it just doesn't have any with the rest of us for dinner. No they seem to think that the corner for hours was a better solution.

What if they would have had to go to the bathroom, would you have made them do it there or would you have let them go.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

What if they would have had to go to the bathroom, would you have made them do it there or would you have let them go.

To the men's room my friend. I think they visited it more then the corner. Guess I don't blame them. Good time to sit and rest the feet

They prolly had one of those old brown electronic LED football games stashed in there.

Both my parents beat me if I got out of line when I was younger; I think it's made me the man I am today. I believe morally I am better than the majority of this population, and it has a great deal to do with how I was raised.

I think domestic abuse laws have been put in place to prevent the abuse that is way out of line (crazy, drunk or drug using parents, etc) and entirely undeserved. I agree that American kids are getting soft and ignorant.. spoiled to the bone.

My freshman year in college my roommate (randomly arranged) was the anti-social, depressed loser type who stayed in and watched TV every night and was a spoiled brat. He often bragged about wasting his parents money (running his cell phone bill up $300 and saying it was his parents fault for choosing a bad service plan and saying they didn't care because it was the only phone they gave him, buying stupid Prada scarves and lame homo/metrosexual type items, etc.). Needless to say, his parents did not raise him well. In fact, we had this conversation before (about parents disciplining their kids), and he said if his parents ever hit him, he would call the cops on their ass. I wanted to punch him right then and there. We did not get along; nobody liked him.

Originally Posted by KentDog

Both my parents beat me if I got out of line when I was younger; I think it's made me the man I am today. I believe morally I am better than the majority of this population, and it has a great deal to do with how I was raised.

I think domestic abuse laws have been put in place to prevent the abuse that is way out of line (crazy, drunk or drug using parents, etc) and entirely undeserved. I agree that American kids are getting soft and ignorant.. spoiled to the bone.

My freshman year in college my roommate (randomly arranged) was the anti-social, depressed loser type who stayed in and watched TV every night and was a spoiled brat. He often bragged about wasting his parents money (running his cell phone bill up $300 and saying it was his parents fault for choosing a bad service plan and saying they didn't care because it was the only phone they gave him, buying stupid Prada scarves and lame homo/metrosexual type items, etc.). Needless to say, his parents did not raise him well. In fact, we had this conversation before (about parents disciplining their kids), and he said if his parents ever hit him, he would call the cops on their ass. I wanted to punch him right then and there. We did not get along; nobody liked him.

I don't know if that has anything to do in backing up your claim that beating a kid is acceptable. Sounds like to me his parents were just shitty parents, whether they hit him or not.

Originally Posted by Tough Old Man

Here's a good one for you. My boys are about 11 and 9. My ex wife makes a pie about 1pm which is for dinner. So her and I are going to run across the street to her sisters house. We tell the boys to leave the pie alone. About an hr later we come back to the house, I open the refrig and the pie has been cut and a piece eaten.
So I gather the two boys and said ok one of you had your piece and your not getting a slice with dinner. Ok which one of you ate it. I didn't daddy, me neither. This goes on for about 15 min's. Now I'm getting mad and I put them in the corner until one of them tells me who had the pie. That was around 3 pm. I had to leave for work at 11 pm and can you believe it I said ok that's enough off to bed you go. That was at 11pm. You should of seen those two dancing in the corners for 8 fucking hours with there feet hurting.
These boys of mine are now 33 and 31 and to this day they still won't tell me who had a slice of that pie. Hell maybe they can't as maybe they split a piece. Guess I'll never know.

Tough

No wire hangers!!!

Wow Tough, thats called a long time-out these days. My wife is an elementary school teacher and "time out" is really about the only course of action a teacher can even take these days. Otherwise parents get their panties in a bunch. You can see by the number of disrespectful punks roaming the streets these days how well this works in the long run. My opinion on discipline is to do whatever you do with absolute consistancy. I don't know how many times i've seen this scenario play out:

mom: Junior if you throw that one more time, your done playing

Junior: throws toy again

mom: I'm warning you, don't do that again or else

Junior: throws toy again

mom: I'm counting to three and if you dont stop........ooooooooonnnnnnne.................twww wwwwwwwwoooooooooo......................twwwwwwwww wwo and a haaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllf.............. ........thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............didn't I tell you to stop! Don't do that anymore.

Junior: throws toy again

mom to onlooking stranger: "I just can't control these kids anymore". Takes toy away and lets him play with something else or just throws up hands in frustration.

Once you let them off the hook, you become a pawn to their actions and they continue to test you further and further. In most cases, disobedient, disrespectful kids are the product of parents who waffle on threats of action.

Originally Posted by boilermaker

Wow Tough, thats called a long time-out these days. My wife is an elementary school teacher and "time out" is really about the only course of action a teacher can even take these days. Otherwise parents get their panties in a bunch. You can see by the number of disrespectful punks roaming the streets these days how well this works in the long run. My opinion on discipline is to do whatever you do with absolute consistancy. I don't know how many times i've seen this scenario play out:

mom: Junior if you throw that one more time, your done playing

Junior: throws toy again

mom: I'm warning you, don't do that again or else

Junior: throws toy again

mom: I'm counting to three and if you dont stop........ooooooooonnnnnnne.................twww wwwwwwwwoooooooooo......................twwwwwwwww wwo and a haaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllf.............. ........thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............didn't I tell you to stop! Don't do that anymore.

Junior: throws toy again

mom to onlooking stranger: "I just can't control these kids anymore". Takes toy away and lets him play with something else or just throws up hands in frustration.

Once you let them off the hook, you become a pawn to their actions and they continue to test you further and further. In most cases, disobedient, disrespectful kids are the product of parents who waffle on threats of action.

Good post

Originally Posted by boilermaker

Wow Tough, thats called a long time-out these days. My wife is an elementary school teacher and "time out" is really about the only course of action a teacher can even take these days. Otherwise parents get their panties in a bunch. You can see by the number of disrespectful punks roaming the streets these days how well this works in the long run. My opinion on discipline is to do whatever you do with absolute consistancy. I don't know how many times i've seen this scenario play out:

mom: Junior if you throw that one more time, your done playing

Junior: throws toy again

mom: I'm warning you, don't do that again or else

Junior: throws toy again

mom: I'm counting to three and if you dont stop........ooooooooonnnnnnne.................twww wwwwwwwwoooooooooo......................twwwwwwwww wwo and a haaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllf.............. ........thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............didn't I tell you to stop! Don't do that anymore.

Junior: throws toy again

mom to onlooking stranger: "I just can't control these kids anymore". Takes toy away and lets him play with something else or just throws up hands in frustration.

Once you let them off the hook, you become a pawn to their actions and they continue to test you further and further. In most cases, disobedient, disrespectful kids are the product of parents who waffle on threats of action.

Quite right.

I've seen parents that manage their children this way. Children are unprincipled, uncivilized, egomaniacal little monsters that need to be trained as to the ways of civilized behavior. Any parent that treats an unreasonable child as a reasonable adult--i.e., the romantic view of kids as magical, innocent yet intuititively wise little people--deserve all the shit they get from the little bastards. Just don't expect the rest of society to be as accomodating.