George Bush's Clock

**The Monkey Man** · 10-06-2005, 10:47 AM

Here's one that may offend Republicans, "&" Christians...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of
St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of
clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those
clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone
on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's
Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved,
indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that
one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told
only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush! 's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office.
He's using it as a ceiling fan."

**Dale Mabry** · 10-06-2005, 11:08 AM

This story is a little far fetched, why would Jesus need an office, I mean, he's Jesus.

**musclepump** · 10-06-2005, 12:41 PM

Yeah, and why would he need a fan? He no doubt keeps Heaven at a very comfortable level.

**mr_oo3** · 10-06-2005, 12:54 PM

**Dale Mabry** · 10-06-2005, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by musclepump

Yeah, and why would he need a fan? He no doubt keeps Heaven at a very comfortable level.

I wonder if he will feel the sting of the outrageous gas prices this winter or if he will just tap into satan's gas line. On the one hand he IS Jesus so he should be able to do whatever he wants, on the other hand, thou shalt not steal. If you think about, he should just send the plague over to the Arabs and then we could have all teh gas we need.

**gococksDJS** · 10-06-2005, 01:54 PM

Come on, there's no such thing as Jesus

**Dale Mabry** · 10-06-2005, 02:06 PM

Sure there is, he works at the Taco Bell.

**gococksDJS** · 10-06-2005, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

Sure there is, he works at the Taco Bell.

So it's Jesus who spits in my bean burrito?

**Dale Mabry** · 10-06-2005, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by gococksDJS

So it's Jesus who spits in my bean burrito?

That's the current method of spiting someone.

**maniclion** · 10-06-2005, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by gococksDJS

So it's Jesus who spits in my bean burrito?

Do they charge extra for authentic mexican flavor?

**kbm8795** · 10-06-2005, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by gococksDJS

So it's Jesus who spits in my bean burrito?

No, that's the Clemson Jesus. The real one wipes his butt and, just like changing water into wine, a bean burrito is produced.

**BigDyl** · 10-06-2005, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by maniclion

Do they charge extra for authentic mexican flavor?

I was wondering why my alleged "plain" burrito came with a rather thick creme sauce.

**gococksDJS** · 10-06-2005, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by maniclion

Do they charge extra for authentic mexican flavor?

If by authentic mexican flavor you mean seminal fluid, no they dont. They secretly add their secret sauce, but it's like catnip to Dale, he'll sniff it out.

**cappo5150** · 10-06-2005, 07:49 PM

^^

**min0 lee** · 10-06-2005, 07:56 PM

Originally Posted by BigDyl

I was wondering why my alleged "plain" burrito came with a rather thick creme sauce.

Darn, I don't think that was spit........the fluid possibly originated further down south.

**The Monkey Man** · 10-06-2005, 08:14 PM

You guys are joking, but there was a Taco Bell right near me here
where the some FUCK-employee though it would be cute to shit in the taco meat...

A whole lot of people got seriously ill -

**TJ Cline** · 10-06-2005, 08:50 PM

Originally Posted by The Monkey Man

You guys are joking, but there was a Taco Bell right near me here
where the some FUCK-employee though it would be cute to shit in the taco meat...

A whole lot of people got seriously ill -

that might be the reason musclepump hates Mexicans so much

**gococksDJS** · 10-06-2005, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by The Monkey Man

You guys are joking, but there was a Taco Bell right near me here
where the some FUCK-employee though it would be cute to shit in the taco meat...

A whole lot of people got seriously ill -

um, so it's bad to eat doodie? Ever since I saw Caddyshack, I figured it was ok to eat doodie.

**The Monkey Man** · 10-06-2005, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

that might be the reason musclepump hates Mexicans so much

Too bad it was a brother -

**Dale Mabry** · 10-06-2005, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by gococksDJS

um, so it's bad to eat doodie? Ever since I saw Caddyshack, I figured it was ok to eat doodie.

Is that why topolo had all that lipstick around his ass. I thought that was a target.

**gococksDJS** · 10-06-2005, 11:33 PM

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

Is that why topolo had all that lipstick around his ass. I thought that was a target.

Actually it's because I was finger painting before he came over...

**Dale Mabry** · 10-07-2005, 07:13 AM

How did you get paint all the way upi to your elbow while finger painting?

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