Foreman is a homosexual

**min0 lee** · 10-06-2005, 10:41 PM

Once there was a boy named Foreman who was 9 years old at the time of this story.
Foreman had a dog named Wit. Wit slept in a doghouse (lucky for him) beneath Foreman bedroom window.

One night, Wit couldn't sleep. He smelled a scary smell. "Bow-wow-wow!" barked Wit. "Bow-wow-wow! Bow-wow-wow! Bow-wow-wow! Bow-wow-wow!"

Foreman felt the door as he learned at school. The door was hot, so Foreman stayed in his room and yelled for help from his window.

Foreman threw open the window. "Oh, no!" he cried. "The house is on fire! Mother! Father!"

Foreman felt the door as he learned at school. The door was hot, so Foreman stayed in his room and yelled for help from his window.

A big strong fireman named Dale came up on a ladder and carried Foreman to safety. Foreman hid his face against the fireman Dale's uniform until they were safe on the ground. Foreman was very glad to see that his whole family was safe.

"That's a good dog you have," said the fireman Dale. "He saved your family! And we got here in time, so your house is barely damaged."

The next night, Foreman couldn't sleep. He thought about the fireman Dale. He thought about how warm and muscular the fireman had felt through his uniform. He remembered the smell of smoke mixed with the fireman Dale's sweat.

Remembering the fireman Dale gave Foreman a funny feeling. He wished he could be together with the fireman Dale again.

The next day, Foreman talked to his sister Gothand. "I think I want to marry a fireman Dale when I grow up," said Foreman.

GotHand gave Foreman a strange look. "Boys don't marry boys!" she exclaimed. Then she ran off and told all the other children that her brother wanted to marry a fireman Dale.

Foreman went and talked to his mother Min0 Lee. "I think I want to marry a fireman Dale when I grow up," he said.

Mother Min0 Lee laughed uncomfortably. "What a funny idea, Foreman!" she said. "What will the neighbors think if they hear about this?"

Foreman decided that maybe his father Tough would understand how he felt. "Father," said Foreman. "Did you ever wish that the house would catch on fire again so that a fireman Dale can rescue you? And did you ever wish he'd take off all your clothes?"

Tough gave Foreman a strange look. "No, I can't say that I did we wrestlers are tough real men," said Tough.

The real shocker came at dinner that night. "I wish fireman Dale would take off all his clothes and sleep with me in my bed," said Foreman. "And I wish he would put a dog leash on me."

Min0 Lee nearly choked on her tomato aspic. "Eat your dinner, Foreman," said Min0 Lee . "And be quiet."

**Shae** · 10-06-2005, 10:46 PM

I'm waiting for Foreman, P.T.,Godhand, and Dale to insult you back in a clever way.

This is going to be good!

**BULL5150** · 10-06-2005, 10:51 PM

that was pretty funny!!!!!

**gococksDJS** · 10-06-2005, 11:00 PM

Dont worry Foreman...

**min0 lee** · 10-06-2005, 11:01 PM

When Foreman went to bed, his Min0 Lee came to tuck him in. "Now, Foreman, there's something I want you to remember," she said. "Don't play with yourself, or you'll go blind like uncle GoCocks."

"Okay, mom," said Foreman. He wondered if he could just do it until he needed glasses.

After Foreman was in bed, Min0 and Tough talked things over.

"I think Foreman may be a homosexual and that shit comes from your side of the family," said Tough.

"It certainly seems that way," said Mino. "What ever can we do about it?"

"I think we should have a talk with him and put the fear of God in him and have him talk to Busy, you know how much he hates religion," said Tough.

The next morning, Tough and min0 had a talk with Foreman.

"No son of mine is going to be a homosexual!" said Tough . "God says it's bad. If you don't give up this fireman Dale business, we'll kick you out of the house!"

Foreman burst into tears.

min0 talked to Little Wing to see if she had any advice. "I think my little Foreman may be a homosexual," said min0 lee. "I just don't know what to do."

Little Wing eyes grew wide. A homosexual! Little Wing ran away shrieking. Soon, Min0 learned that she had been un-invited from Little Wing Dildo party.

When Foreman went to school that day, all the other children ran away from him. "Ewww!" they said. "We don't want to play with a homosexual! We'll get gay germs!"

Foreman stood behind and tried not to cry.

Foreman was so confused that he decided to call the police to ask for help. "Officer Monkey man speaking," said the policeman.

"Hello, my name is Foreman Rules," said Foreman. "I'm 9 years old. Everybody hates me because I want to marry a fireman Dale, and they say I'm a homosexual. What should I do?"

"Well, Foreman," said Officer Monkey man . "You'd better not put your wee-wee in any other boys mouths or bottoms, or you'll go to jail. Sodomy is a crime in this state, you know."

Foreman hung up the phone, more confused and depressed than ever. "What am I to do?" he asked himself

After thinking it over, Foreman decided to run away to find a place where people would understand him. "Come on, Wit," he said to his dog. "We're running away!" He packed some peanut butter sandwiches for himself and some dog food for Wit. Then he took Wit with him and ran away to a park.

**gococksDJS** · 10-06-2005, 11:21 PM

hahah, damn that is some funny shit

**min0 lee** · 10-06-2005, 11:21 PM

In the park, Foreman met a man named Johnnny. "Hello, little boy," said the man. "How would you like some ice cream?"

Foreman knew exactly what the man was after. Maybe this was his big chance! "Have you a fireman uniform like fireman Dale?" asked Foreman.

"No, I'm afraid I haven't but did you know you can target your inner pecs," said Johnnny.

"Oh," said Foreman, disappointed. Then he kicked the man in the balls to show him what he thought of child molesters and somehow he disapeared never to be ridiculed again.

Foreman ran all the way home with Wit. Then he cried and cried.

"Oh, Wit," he said. "There seems to be nowhere to turn. I think I should end it all and kill myself."

He looked sadly at Wit. "But I'm too scared to die alone. Let's make a suicide pact, Wit! How does that sound?"

Wit licked Foreman on the nose. Foreman took that to mean yes, so he carried Wit outside. In reality Wit just wanted Foreman to go solo with this idea....poor dog.

Foreman sadly carried Wit to the sidewalk. They waited for a car to come by. Soon, a driver came speeding around the bend.

With Wit in his arms, Foreman jumped in front of an approaching car. The car screeched to a stop just in time. The driver jumped out of the car. "Goodness gracious, young man!" said the driver whose name is Myk and recently crossed the border illegally. "Why did you jump in front of my car?"

"I was trying to kill myself because I'm a homosexual, and all my family and the other kids and the police and everyone hate me," said Foreman.

"Don't kill yourself!" said Myk. "Call the Gay Hotline! They can help you like they did for me!" He gave Foreman a card with a phone number, and then got in his car and drove away.

Foreman nervously dialed the number. "Hello, Gay Hotline?" he said. "My name is Foreman Rules. I'm 9 years old. I'm a homosexual, and I want to marry a fireman Dale. Everybody hates me because I'm a homosexual: Min0, Tough, sister Gothand, Officer Monkey man, and all the kids at school. I tried to run away but a man named Johnnny tried to buy me ice cream, and I kicked him in the balls. I tried to kill myself but the driver Myk stopped and gave me your number. What should I do?"

**min0 lee** · 10-06-2005, 11:40 PM

"What you need is a good family psychiatrist!" said the man on the Gay Hotline. "Here's a number for you." He gave Foreman the number.

"Can we go to a family psych--- psych--- head shrinker, Mother?" asked Foreman. "I have the number for a good one."

Min0 thought, "Maybe this will get those perverted homosexual thoughts out of little Foremans head." She said, "All right, Foreman."

"Hello, folks, I'm Dr. John H.," said the psychiatrist. "What seems to be the problem?"

"We're here because our little son Foreman seems to be a-- homosexual!" said Min0.

"Not to worry, folks. Being gay is a perfectly normal variation of human sexuality," said Dr. John H.. "The best thing you can do is to accept Foreman for who he is."

At home, Min0 and Tough talked it over. "Maybe we were too hasty to judge the boy," said Tough.

"Maybe so," said Min0. "All right, let's talk to him."

Tough told Foreman, "Foreman, your mother and I have decided to accept you just as you are. We're proud of our gay son."

Foreman's face lit up. He was very glad.

"Guess what, Wit?" cried Foreman. "Min0 and Tough say they're going to accept me just as I am!"

Wit just wished he would leave him alone and play with his other pet the blue bunny.

Foreman became a gay and black rights activist and gave consciousness raising talks to his classmates which did not please fellow classmate and clan member Cfs3 at all.
"And by using a condom or dental dam every time you have sex, you can greatly reduce your chances of contracting HIV!" said Foreman.

Foreman's parents became avid readers of the P-FLAG newsletter.

"Who needs a Dildo party when we have all these P-FLAG meetings to go to?" remarked Min0.

**min0 lee** · 10-06-2005, 11:46 PM

Foreman's family tried to accept his kinkier interests. "Father, will you buy me that leash for my birthday?"

"But Wit already has a leash," said Tough.

"I didn't want it for Wit," said Foreman.

Tough chuckled uncomfortably.

Foreman's family even helped set him up with a good boyfriend.

"What about this one, Father?" asked Gothand. "10-year-old boy into fireman uniforms and bondage. Usually top but versatile. Is Foreman a top or a bottom, Father?"

"I think he's a bottom," said Father. "This looks like a good match for Foreman."

Foreman was very glad that his family accepted him. He lived happily ever after.

THE END

**mr_oo3** · 10-06-2005, 11:48 PM

Classic.

**CRASHMAN** · 10-07-2005, 12:09 AM

What a story it should get an emmy

**maniclion** · 10-07-2005, 04:19 AM

Is the dog named Wit or Patches?

**Stu** · 10-07-2005, 04:58 AM

"No, I'm afraid I haven't but did you know you can target your inner pecs," said Johnnny.

**min0 lee** · 10-07-2005, 05:17 AM

I can't say I wrote the original but I did do some editing.

**min0 lee** · 10-07-2005, 05:18 AM

Originally Posted by maniclion

Is the dog named Wit or Patches?

It depends, during the week it's wit but on saturday nights it's Disco Patches on rollarblades.

**BigDyl** · 10-07-2005, 06:02 AM

omfroflpwndlol

**busyLivin** · 10-07-2005, 06:46 AM

that's hilarious

**THEUNIT(XXL)** · 10-07-2005, 06:51 AM

AHAHAAH damn min0!!!!!!!! that's some funny shit!

"Being gay is a perfectly normal variation of human sexuality," said Dr. John H.." HAHAHHAHAHA
"Don't kill yourself!" said Myk. "Call the Gay Hotline! They can help you like they did for me!"WOEHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA

**tucker01** · 10-07-2005, 07:35 AM

Nice

**Rich46yo** · 10-07-2005, 08:48 AM

Yeah, real good. The only problem is that in Foreskins fantasy world he's black as the ace of spades............Uncle Rich

**THEUNIT(XXL)** · 10-07-2005, 09:01 AM

Black AND gay, I think he would not be allowed to be on this forum.

**min0 lee** · 10-08-2005, 10:33 AM

Foreman doesn't talk to me anymore since I posted this.

**musclepump** · 10-08-2005, 10:39 AM

min0 has far too much time on his... er, her... er, its... hands

**Chain Link** · 10-08-2005, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by Stu

"No, I'm afraid I haven't but did you know you can target your inner pecs," said Johnnny.

That was the best part

**John H.** · 10-08-2005, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by THEUNIT(XXL)

AHAHAAH damn min0!!!!!!!! that's some funny shit!

"Being gay is a perfectly normal variation of human sexuality," said Dr. John H.." HAHAHHAHAHA
"Don't kill yourself!" said Myk. "Call the Gay Hotline! They can help you like they did for me!"WOEHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA

Hi THEUNIT,

Being Homosexual - or BiSexual - or Heterosexual - IS a "...perfectly normal variation of human sexuality..." - THAT IS A FACT!!! AND ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!!

Take Care, John H.

**min0 lee** · 10-08-2005, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by John H.

Hi THEUNIT,

Being Homosexual - or BiSexual - or Heterosexual - IS a "...perfectly normal variation of human sexuality..." - THAT IS A FACT!!! AND ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!!

Take Care, John H.

The strange thing is that quote was already there. I didn't need to do any editing.

**John H.** · 10-08-2005, 10:57 AM

Foreman IS a DAMN GOOD MAN - in the TRUEST SENSE - PERIOD!

His Sexuality is a part of who he is, period.

Take Care, John H.

**TJ Cline** · 10-08-2005, 11:00 AM

Thank you John for being the only one here to accept and support my homosexuality....everybody else should be ashamed!!!! It is the 21 century people....wake up.

**min0 lee** · 10-08-2005, 11:01 AM

No doubt, that's why I cast him as the star of this story. There's no other guy here who would best exemplify what a gay man should be other than you perhaps.

**musclepump** · 10-08-2005, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by min0 lee

No doubt, that's why I cast him as the star of this story. There's no other guy here who would best exemplify what a gay man should be other than you perhaps.

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