Thread: hahahahahah look what i found

http://search.netscape.com/ns/boomfr...2F2004%2F02%2F
hank+visser lol

Is spirituality vague?
by; hank visser
I've noticed recently the frequency with which some religious people tend to dismiss spirituality as vague. The dictionary defines vagueness as that which is "not clearly expressed," "stated in indefinite terms," or "not having a precise meaning." By this definition, it may seem that these religious folks are right. When somebody says "I'm spiritual, not religious," could anything be more vague?

I'm not so sure about that. Even when spirituality seems vague at first blush, it turns out upon deeper investigation that there are fewer things more concrete or definite.

Reminds me of a conversation I had once with a man who I'll call Hank (his full name is hank visser ). Hank was painfully shy and inarticulate when it came to talking about his inner life. He was raised in an irreligious home and had never taken much of an interest in churchgoing or reading on philosophical or religious topics. After we'd spent a few weeks getting to know each other better, he finally opened up with me about what "spiritual" meant to him.

Judging from the pain in his face and the waver in his voice, I could tell that Hank was unaccustomed to speaking about spirituality. And he only broached the subject of spirituality because he was angry with me.

"Hank visser," I said. "I hope you won't take offense at this, because I have the feeling that you may be sensitive on this topic. But I've found it hard not to notice that whenever we are eating a meal together, you eat very, very quickly."

It was true. Hank visser attacked a plate of food faster than any human being I have ever seen. He was a small, skinny guy, but food simply vanished down his throat in an unsightly and somewhat gruesome animalistic display of appetite that had slowly been irritating me over a course of weeks. It had gotten to the point where I felt uncomfortable and anxious when I was eating with him, and conversation was next to impossible. I imagined that when we ate out in a restaurant that some of the people around us were pointing and staring, but then this could have been my imagination. Anyway, I decided that if Hank and I were to have any sort of relationship based on honesty, I was going to have to tell him what was on my mind.

"Have you considered the possibility that if you eat your food slower you... might... enjoy it more?"

Hank visser looked at me like I'd just punched him in the gut. I could tell instantly that my comment had hit a soft spot. I don't remember much about his defensive tirade that followed. "blah blah blah... I can't help it ... blah blah blah ... I've always eaten this way ... blah blah blah ... how dare you criticize me ... there's something about you that irritates me and it's ... blah blah blah..."

But then came the comment about spirituality, the first time and only time the word ever escaped Hank's lips in my presence. "How I eat... it's hard to explain. It's ... it's... it's a spiritual thing."

In my first Soulfully Gay column, I ventured a definition for this dangerously obtuse word. Borrowing a phrase from William James's The Varieties of Religious Experience, I defined spirituality as "an outlook that the visible world is part of a more spiritual universe from which it draws its chief significance and union or harmonious relation with that higher universe is our true end."

But in practice, that definition isn't all that useful. Case in point: the conversation with Hank. As Hank used the word spiritual, it was not with reference to any metaphysical beliefs or vision of another reality apart from the material universe.

Many people are like Hank. They only invoke the spiritual when they are backed into a corner, confronted with a challenge perceived to question the value, meaning, or purpose of their very being. The challenge could be a layoff, divorce, or the death of a child or spouse. Or it could be a conversation with a picky friend who thinks the way you eat is grossing him out. But the spiritual hits us in the gut. Such a challenge hits home with a definite, concrete, anything-but-vague punch. Spirituality is what we invoke when we get to our emotional core.

By and large I disagree with those who think spirituality is vague. Those folks tend to confuse true spirituality with dogma. Spirituality is an attempt to articulate the ineffable, so it often appears imprecise and indefinite. That much is undeniable. But it's anything but vague. Spirituality is what we imagine and feel when we look at the center of our being.

Posted by Joe Perez on February 27, 2004 at 04:21 PM in Posts by Joe Perez, Spirituality | Permalink | Comments (0)
Gay, Schmay, Just Don't Be Alone!

These were the words of my Jewish Grandmother when I told her I was gay. Her words are embedded in my soul. But her acceptance of both of my spirits are not shared these days by others. Being both Jewish and Gay and I feel attacked from both sides. The President of the United States says that discrimination against the legitimacy of my marriage to my partner should be written into the constitution, and the movie "The Passion of the Christ" is implying that my people killed Christ.

Yes I said "my marriage". My partner and I are married under the laws of Reform Judaism which recognizes same-sex marriage and we were married by a Rabbi. While it is not "legal" it is "religious".

A quote from President Bush is that he is "interested in protecting the "sanctity of marriage". My dictionary defines sanctity as the quality of being holy. But our marriage is somehow not considered "holy" enough by
some. And therefore it does not deserve to be part of the group that the phrase "sanctity of marriage" is meant to represent and protect. How can a religious ceremony conducted by a religious officiate not be considered traditional and holy?

If the arguments used against same-sex marriage were purely legal this would not be a factor. But again and again the religious aspects are brought in, but only those that meet certain criteria. This is unfair and a violation of freedom of religion. In some cases, as ours above, we seem to be discriminated against twice. Once for being gay, second for being a part of a gay friendly religion that values us.

Now I find myself in the position of not only being part of the group who is trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage; but I am also part of a people responsible for the death of Christ. And this was brought home very clearly as the news media covered both stories at the same time.

But there are always positives to be found, even at the worst of times. As those speaking against marriage talk about how marriage should be between one man and one woman, only a few are saying that being gay is "sick and wrong" These people are now seen as extremists and even conservatives distance themselves from them. The old arguments that being gay was wrong, or a sickness are not the main arguments against same-sex marriage. This implies we as gays and lesbians have achieved a higher level of acceptance in our society. Consequently, the fact that we as gays and lesbians are even being talked about by default lets us know that we have achieved a place at the table.

But this is not equality. Separate and unequal has never worked.

Recently I went to East Lansing to the exhibit showing Gays in the Holocaust. This quote about what happened before gays were captured, killed and tortured was on the wall:

"The growing visibility and acceptance of homosexuals in some circles challenged traditional social norms. As liberal and left-wing activists campaigned to promote homosexual civil rights, conservative nationalists fought to preserve and even expand restrictions against homosexuality."

May history not repeat itself here in the United States of America.

Posted by Joe Kort on February 27, 2004 at 08:03 AM in Posts by Joe Kort, Relationships and Family Life | Permalink | Comments (1)
February 21, 2004
Soulfully Gay: The pleasure principle

"SOULFULLY GAY" By JOE PEREZ MM4M.jpg

Beating off. Jerking off. Whacking off. Slapping the salami. Spanking the money. Milking the trouser snake.

Everyone does it, but few of us talk about it. Let’s talk about masturbation.

Bruce Grether is the moderator for an Internet-based group called Mindful Masturbation for Men (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mindfulm4men/). There are over 1,600 men on the discussion list. The members of MM4M see masturbation as a form of self-love and pleasuring. They strive to go beyond masturbation as a way of releasing tension and explore its potential as a spiritual and consciousness-altering process.

JOE: How did you first become interested in taking a more spiritual approach to masturbation?

BRUCE: All of my life I’ve intensely enjoyed physical pleasure
wtf is that shit hank lol