Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."
A man (let's call him Bill) walks in the bar and sees another man (let's call him Dave) sitting down with his head looking down holding a small brown bag. Bill asks Dave, "What's in the brown bag?" Dave replies, "Take a look for yourself." So Bill takes a peek in the bag and sees a small pianist playing the piano.
"What the hell is that", says Bill. Dave says "A genie appeared and gave me three wishes. I have already used my first wish so go ahead and make a wish." Bill thinks hard and makes his wish. In a few seconds, 1 million ducks entered the bar and started walking towards him.
"What the hell is that?", says Bill. "I didn't ask for 1 million ducks, i asked for 1 million bucks."
"No shit" says Dave. "I think the genie is deaf. Do you think i asked for a 10 inch PIANIST."