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How a nice dump went wrong at work today...(Not for the weak-hearted)


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Old 12-18-2005, 09:56 PM   #1
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How a nice dump went wrong at work today...(Not for the weak-hearted)

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This is what happened at work today, as I describe it to friend on Aim,
I changed his S/n for his protection >>>>

war savurr: On a side note
war savurr: I had an assplosion at work today, as my friend Andy put it
war savurr: It was some baaaaad dump
Mr. Roboto: did you make him look at it?
war savurr: hahaha no
war savurr: Dude
war savurr: It was a classic bad one
war savurr: everything that could go wrong went wrong
war savurr: Should I give ye all the details?
Mr. Roboto: oh hell yea man
war savurr: Ok to start
war savurr: I had a false alarm earlier that day, I tried, but nothing came, so later 10 mins before I was supposed to clock out
war savurr: It hit me again, so I decided to go for it, why not spend the last 10 doing one of my favorite things?
war savurr: So I get on, happy, and then
war savurr: I have the damned rock slide
war savurr: 1-3 turds in rapid succession
war savurr: Each one sending water up to my anus
war savurr: Not comfortable
Mr. Roboto: hahaha dude those suck
war savurr: I have about 4 of these rock slides
war savurr: before I think I am done
Mr. Roboto: but usually the water = less wiping
war savurr: so my ass is wet as hell, So I expect
war savurr: To have damned wet wipes
war savurr: So right before I finish
war savurr: I have one of those michievous shits
war savurr: that just kinda clings to my sphincter
war savurr: So I have to actually wipe it off
war savurr: well, water and shit was everywhere along the atlas that was my bum
war savurr: Not only am I getting shit all over the whipe, but some mishaps upon my hand
war savurr: So i wash really well
war savurr: and continue
war savurr: this goes on for an amazing 15 minutes of wiping hell
Mr. Roboto: shit
war savurr: at which point I hear my manager walk into the back room
war savurr: I think about calling him, and telling him to just clock me out
war savurr: but hold back
war savurr: eventually, with my butt sore from wiping
war savurr: and with so much paper gone
war savurr: I pulled up my pants and washed my hands very thoroughly
war savurr: However, the ever present dump smell lingers upon my forefingers
war savurr: With that I clocked out
war savurr: and left
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Old 12-18-2005, 10:00 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myCATpowerlifts
This is what happened at work today, as I describe it to friend on Aim,
I changed his S/n for his protection >>>>

war savurr: On a side note
war savurr: I had an assplosion at work today, as my friend Andy put it
war savurr: It was some baaaaad dump
Mr. Roboto: did you make him look at it?
war savurr: hahaha no
war savurr: Dude
war savurr: It was a classic bad one
war savurr: everything that could go wrong went wrong
war savurr: Should I give ye all the details?
Mr. Roboto: oh hell yea man
war savurr: Ok to start
war savurr: I had a false alarm earlier that day, I tried, but nothing came, so later 10 mins before I was supposed to clock out
war savurr: It hit me again, so I decided to go for it, why not spend the last 10 doing one of my favorite things?
war savurr: So I get on, happy, and then
war savurr: I have the damned rock slide
war savurr: 1-3 turds in rapid succession
war savurr: Each one sending water up to my anus
war savurr: Not comfortable
Mr. Roboto: hahaha dude those suck
war savurr: I have about 4 of these rock slides
war savurr: before I think I am done
Mr. Roboto: but usually the water = less wiping
war savurr: so my ass is wet as hell, So I expect
war savurr: To have damned wet wipes
war savurr: So right before I finish
war savurr: I have one of those michievous shits
war savurr: that just kinda clings to my sphincter
war savurr: So I have to actually wipe it off
war savurr: well, water and shit was everywhere along the atlas that was my bum
war savurr: Not only am I getting shit all over the whipe, but some mishaps upon my hand
war savurr: So i wash really well
war savurr: and continue
war savurr: this goes on for an amazing 15 minutes of wiping hell
Mr. Roboto: shit
war savurr: at which point I hear my manager walk into the back room
war savurr: I think about calling him, and telling him to just clock me out
war savurr: but hold back
war savurr: eventually, with my butt sore from wiping
war savurr: and with so much paper gone
war savurr: I pulled up my pants and washed my hands very thoroughly
war savurr: However, the ever present dump smell lingers upon my forefingers
war savurr: With that I clocked out
war savurr: and left


You are officially nominated for the Gayest Post of the Year Award.

Congratulations, and good luck in the running.



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Old 12-19-2005, 10:51 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDyl
You are officially nominated for the Gayest Post of the Year Award.

Congratulations, and good luck in the running.
The Emo ninja speaketh...

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Old 12-19-2005, 10:55 AM   #4
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I don't find toilet humor funny, sorry.



If sense were common, everyone would have it.

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Old 12-19-2005, 12:20 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
I don't find toilet humor funny, sorry.
Apparently your medication is working. Heard from Duncan lately?



Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???
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Old 12-19-2005, 01:28 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
I don't find toilet humor funny, sorry.
I almost didn't catch the sarcasm.
Afterall, aren't you like, the poopoo man?

I remember you telling us about how you piss on your dad's poo
to break it apart as a lad.

Anyway, it's not toilet humour, I was just relating a true story that happened to me.
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Old 12-19-2005, 03:59 PM   #7
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..well..at least it seems that everything worked itself out in the end...



Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem

THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
- Appollo Creed
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Old 12-19-2005, 04:19 PM   #8
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Dude you should have done as the Arabs do and cupped your hand, dipped it in the bowl splashed some water on your ass and then scrubbed by hand, of course left hand only.



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Manic > all of you bwaha
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Old 12-19-2005, 04:46 PM   #9
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***flush first***



Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem

THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
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Old 12-19-2005, 06:54 PM   #10
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Well at least I hadn't pee'd first, or else nasty water would have been jumping at me, which is grose.
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Old 12-19-2005, 07:03 PM   #11
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I remember one time I courtesy flushed and the toilet got stuck, the water was inches from the rim, luckily I was in the handicap stall so I had rails to hold while I squatted about 6 inches off the seat and finished, the hard part was holding myself up and reaching back to get paper, at one point I lost my balance and fell forward with my head against the door, yeah I was drunk. I kept thinking how funny it would have been if the lock on the door had broken and I fell through the door with my pants around my ankles.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Crono1000
Manic > all of you bwaha
Quote:
Originally Posted by fletcher6490
You are the fucking man Manic. You are by far the coolest motherfucker on this board
Quote:
Originally Posted by SYN
As with most things, manic is absolutely fucking right.
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Old 12-19-2005, 07:56 PM   #12
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Bummer, next time that happens or anytime you're shitting for that matter. Flush after each load you shit. haha
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Old 12-20-2005, 09:27 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maniclion
I remember one time I courtesy flushed and the toilet got stuck, the water was inches from the rim, luckily I was in the handicap stall so I had rails to hold while I squatted about 6 inches off the seat and finished, the hard part was holding myself up and reaching back to get paper, at one point I lost my balance and fell forward with my head against the door, yeah I was drunk. I kept thinking how funny it would have been if the lock on the door had broken and I fell through the door with my pants around my ankles.


I wish I could have seen it
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Old 12-20-2005, 07:12 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myCATpowerlifts
I remember you telling us about how you piss on your dad's poo
to break it apart as a lad.

Toilet asteroids is not a joking matter.



If sense were common, everyone would have it.

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Old 12-20-2005, 07:27 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
Toilet asteroids is not a joking matter.
I haven't had a lumpy turd in ages, maybe I need more insouluble fiber. What do you recommend Dr. Mabry?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Crono1000
Manic > all of you bwaha
Quote:
Originally Posted by fletcher6490
You are the fucking man Manic. You are by far the coolest motherfucker on this board
Quote:
Originally Posted by SYN
As with most things, manic is absolutely fucking right.
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Old 12-21-2005, 09:26 AM   #16
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Konsul is great for that, tastes like shit, but you will be shaping well-formed turds for years to come.



If sense were common, everyone would have it.

4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...
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