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12-18-2005, 10:56 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
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How a nice dump went wrong at work today...(Not for the weak-hearted)
This is what happened at work today, as I describe it to friend on Aim,
I changed his S/n for his protection >>>> war savurr: On a side note war savurr: I had an assplosion at work today, as my friend Andy put it war savurr: It was some baaaaad dump Mr. Roboto: did you make him look at it? war savurr: hahaha no war savurr: Dude war savurr: It was a classic bad one war savurr: everything that could go wrong went wrong war savurr: Should I give ye all the details? Mr. Roboto: oh hell yea man war savurr: Ok to start war savurr: I had a false alarm earlier that day, I tried, but nothing came, so later 10 mins before I was supposed to clock out war savurr: It hit me again, so I decided to go for it, why not spend the last 10 doing one of my favorite things? war savurr: So I get on, happy, and then war savurr: I have the damned rock slide war savurr: 1-3 turds in rapid succession war savurr: Each one sending water up to my anus war savurr: Not comfortable Mr. Roboto: hahaha dude those suck war savurr: I have about 4 of these rock slides war savurr: before I think I am done Mr. Roboto: but usually the water = less wiping war savurr: so my ass is wet as hell, So I expect war savurr: To have damned wet wipes war savurr: So right before I finish war savurr: I have one of those michievous shits war savurr: that just kinda clings to my sphincter war savurr: So I have to actually wipe it off war savurr: well, water and shit was everywhere along the atlas that was my bum war savurr: Not only am I getting shit all over the whipe, but some mishaps upon my hand war savurr: So i wash really well war savurr: and continue war savurr: this goes on for an amazing 15 minutes of wiping hell Mr. Roboto: shit war savurr: at which point I hear my manager walk into the back room war savurr: I think about calling him, and telling him to just clock me out war savurr: but hold back war savurr: eventually, with my butt sore from wiping war savurr: and with so much paper gone war savurr: I pulled up my pants and washed my hands very thoroughly war savurr: However, the ever present dump smell lingers upon my forefingers war savurr: With that I clocked out war savurr: and left |
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12-18-2005, 11:00 PM
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#2 | ||
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Elite Kiki
Elite Member
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Quote:
You are officially nominated for the Gayest Post of the Year Award. Congratulations, and good luck in the running.  Quote:
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12-19-2005, 01:20 PM
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#5 | |
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IDIOT SAVANT
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: An alternate reality.
Posts: 10,385
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Quote:
Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???
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12-19-2005, 02:28 PM
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#6 | |
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Registered User
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Quote:
Afterall, aren't you like, the poopoo man? I remember you telling us about how you piss on your dad's poo to break it apart as a lad. Anyway, it's not toilet humour, I was just relating a true story that happened to me. |
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12-19-2005, 04:59 PM
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#7 |
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Super Hero in Training
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Posts: 29,645
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..well..at least it seems that everything worked itself out in the end...
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed |
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12-19-2005, 05:19 PM
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#8 |
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Cartographer of the Mind
Elite Member
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Dude you should have done as the Arabs do and cupped your hand, dipped it in the bowl splashed some water on your ass and then scrubbed by hand, of course left hand only.
"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone |
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12-19-2005, 05:46 PM
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#9 |
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Super Hero in Training
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Posts: 29,645
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***flush first***
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed |
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12-19-2005, 08:03 PM
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#11 |
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Cartographer of the Mind
Elite Member
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I remember one time I courtesy flushed and the toilet got stuck, the water was inches from the rim, luckily I was in the handicap stall so I had rails to hold while I squatted about 6 inches off the seat and finished, the hard part was holding myself up and reaching back to get paper, at one point I lost my balance and fell forward with my head against the door, yeah I was drunk. I kept thinking how funny it would have been if the lock on the door had broken and I fell through the door with my pants around my ankles.
"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone |
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12-19-2005, 08:56 PM
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#12 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: California
Posts: 94
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Bummer, next time that happens or anytime you're shitting for that matter. Flush after each load you shit. haha
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12-20-2005, 10:27 AM
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#13 | |
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Registered User
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Quote:
 I wish I could have seen it  |
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12-20-2005, 08:12 PM
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#14 | |
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Moderator
Moderator
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Quote:
Toilet asteroids is not a joking matter.
If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge... |
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12-20-2005, 08:27 PM
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#15 | |
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Cartographer of the Mind
Elite Member
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Quote:
"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone |
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12-21-2005, 10:26 AM
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#16 |
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Moderator
Moderator
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Konsul is great for that, tastes like shit, but you will be shaping well-formed turds for years to come.
If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge... |
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