Thread: True Story

I work with Johnny, and sometimes he stops in the middle of our corporate hallways, but instead of shaking my hands he gives me a fist pound and says "what up." He's so in touch with the street, its astonishing.

I like Johnny and Sally because they NEVER flaunt their wealth in front of me. In fact, they go to great lengths to keep their valuables as well as their wallets and purses as far away from me as possible. How cool is THAT???

Sally is always there for me. She was even brave enough to tell me how she feels sorry for me because my hair can never really look "professional."

Sally and I go out to the clubs a lot and she always says she wishes she had my natural rhythm.

Sally and Johnny always ask me how the entire black community feels about certain topics. I really respect this about them because I am black and therfore obviously know how all blacks feel about everything!

Sally and Johnny listen to more gangster rap then I do!

Sally is so thoughtful. She always tries to set me up with every black man she knows. Since we're both black that means my date and I will have so much much in common.

BE OUR FRIEND!!

Maybe you can be our friend!

Email us reasons why you love us (and even a picture too).
New_Friend@blackpeopleloveus.com We just might include YOUR testimonial!!

maybe he should get a job, I found this application on the internet....(I didn't write this, and it's only a joke so don't go crazy)


It is not necessary to attach a photo since all Coons look alike.

NAME_________________________ALIAS:_______________ ________ DATE________________

ADDRESS___________________________________________ _____________________________
(If living in automobile give make, model & license number)

NAME OF MOTHA_________________________ NAME OF FATHA___________________________(If known)

MAKE OF AUTOMOBILE: Cadillac___________Lincoln____________Imperial____ _________

Number of children claimed on Welfare__________________________________________
Number of legitimate Children (If Any)_________________________________________

Marital Status: Common Law________ Shacked Up__________

Place of birth: Crack House________ City dump___________________
Zoo________________ Back Alley__________________
Free Public Hospital_____________________________

Approximate Estimate of Income: Welfare $__________ Unemployment $____________
Theft $____________ Drug deals $______________

Check machines you can operate: Typewriter_____________Adding Machine__________

Afro-pick______________Drugs scale_____________

Switch Blade___________Injection needle________

Saturday nite special_______Crack pipe_________

Check foods you like best: Ribs___________________ Watermelon_____________

Grits______________ All of the Above___________

Total days spent in prison or detention center:________________________________
(attach additional sheets if necessary)
Check illnesses you may have had in the last year:
Measles_________Mumps_________ Gonorrhea_________Syphilis_________AIDS_________

Average Drug overdoses per year_________________ (If still alive)

Abilities: Gang banging____________________ Demonstratin'_________________
Gang Raping_____________________ Drug Pushin'__________________
Gangsta rapping_________________ Robbin'_______________________
All of the Above________________ Pimpin'_______________________

In 50 words or less, describe your greatest desire in life:
(other than sodomizing a white girl)
__________________________________________________ _____________________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________________

I,__________________________________(X or signature), I swars thatzs dis answered
to bests of dis naggers abilty, and thats I swars thatzs I willz alwayzs looks
likea nagger, dress likea nagger, actsa likea nagger, and smellas likea nagger.
Isa believes in dis NAACP thats wesa naggers is better than all white folks is.
I's pramise do everythang to's increase nagger papulations, so's help me Lawd!

Maybe your kid will write a movie script after this is all over called: SWAHILISH

Be thankful that for Internet anonymity, bitch.

Originally Posted by DOMS

Be thankful that for Internet anonymity, bitch.

Which one of us?

Originally Posted by min0 lee

Which one of us?

Manic.

Originally Posted by DOMS

Manic.

My age is showing, what did he mean exactly?
Why did it piss you off, was it a racist remark?

Originally Posted by myCATpowerlifts

My age is showing, what did he mean exactly?
Why did it piss you off, was it a racist remark?

You must not have seen the movie Spanglish.

Originally Posted by maniclion

You must not have seen the movie Spanglish.

I haven't. Sorry then, I took that remark the wrong way, but the thread had been veering towards black gay sex and then you brought my kids up.

The kids stuff is not like Manic, he didn't mean it like that. The gay sex ....well I can't defend him on that.

By the way did my friends info help out?

Originally Posted by min0 lee

The kids stuff is not like Manic, he didn't mean it like that. The gay sex ....well I can't defend him on that.

By the way did my friends info help out?

Not well, at first.

I asked him about the latest Trick Daddy song and he just stared at me.
I went to give him a "hand tap" and he just stared at me.
I tried to talk to him about Tiger Woods, but he doesn't follow golf.
I asked him what the average black American thinks and he said, "not much."

We're going to get along just fine.

I don't know how old you are or if you ever watched All in the Family, but there was an episode with Sammy Davis Jr. and it was funny at the time.
Archie Bunker, that guy was funny.

Originally Posted by DOMS

Not well, at first.

I asked him about the latest Trick Daddy song and he just stared at me.
I went to give him a "hand tap" and he just stared at me.
I tried to talk to him about Tiger Woods, but he doesn't follow golf.
I asked him what the average black American thinks and he said, "not much."

We're going to get along just fine.

ask him "who is mike jones?"