Thread: True Story

So your going to take advantage of the poor black dude while the wifes away huh? Someone to do the yard, cook dinner, take out the trash, paint the driveway, wash the car, while the wifes not there to do it. We seeeee.

Originally Posted by DOMS

I though that some of you would get a kick out of this.

My friends wife's sister met this (black) guy from Africa (The Ivory Coast) over the Internet. They got married over in Africa and he moved to the US.

I don't know what she expected from him. I guess she figured he wouldn't have opinions or a personality. In any case, she threw him out and want's to get an annulment. The poor chap has no place to stay for the next few weeks.

My wife and children are leaving just after to Christmas to visit her sister for a few weeks, so I've offered the guy a place to stay for a few weeks.

I bet you didn't see that coming.

So how do you plan to kill him??

Originally Posted by maniclion

So your going to take advantage of the poor black dude while the wifes away huh? Someone to do the yard, cook dinner, take out the trash, paint the driveway, wash the car, while the wifes not there to do it. We seeeee.

You are a sick, sick bastard.

Originally Posted by DOMS

I bet you didn't see that coming.

Haha...

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

So how do you plan to kill him??

I don't have any plans to kill him. Hell no. As a matter of fact I'm going to do my best to include him in my daily activities.

First stop: Nightly Klan rally.


Seriously though, this guy speaks 5 languages, works with computers (systems analyst), and is so easy to get along with.

Hahahaha.....I think I just soiled myself. hahaha

this thread made the day worthwhile. Clean up time.

So do your kids know that daddy's got the black gay?

You really should show him some hospitality..cook his favorite meals ...play some rap music....and oh, don't shake his hand thats very offensive. Just put out your hand and say gimmie 5.

Originally Posted by gococksDJS

So do your kids know that daddy's got the black gay?

Is there any better kind?

I always found the irony in that country's name.

Originally Posted by dougnukem

I always found the irony in that country's name.

There are a lot of French people there. Maybe they should call it the Ebony & Ivory Coast?

Originally Posted by min0 lee

You really should show him some hospitality..cook his favorite meals ...play some rap music....and oh, don't shake his hand thats very offensive. Just put out your hand and say gimmie 5.

I've met quite a few black Africans over the years. Most of them seem to like black Americans about as much as the Spanish like Mexicans.

Originally Posted by maniclion

So your going to take advantage of the poor black dude while the wifes away huh?

Maybe he wants to find out if black men are really hung like horses.

Originally Posted by cappo5150

Maybe he wants to find out if black men are really hung like horses.

What a pedestrian comment.

Originally Posted by cappo5150

Maybe he wants to find out if black men are really hung like horses.

Damnit! You stole my punchline.

Originally Posted by DOMS

I've met quite a few black Africans over the years. Most of them seem to like black Americans about as much as the Spanish like Mexicans.

That is very true.

Hi! I'm Sally, and I'm Johnny

Min0 Lee sent us to you DOMS!

Black People Love Us!
We are well-liked by Black people so we're psyched (since lots of Black people don't like lots of White people)!! We thought it'd be cool to honor our exceptional status and teach
you the proper way be a good host with Black guests!

We hope you think we're as awesome as the Black community does!!

Sally loves to touch my hair! She always asks me how I got my hair to do this. That makes me feel special. Like I have magical powers!


Johnny calls me "da man!" That puts me at ease. It makes me feel comfortable, because I am Black and that's how Black folks talk to one another


Johnny always plays up his (Italian, Irish, Jewish, etc.) ethnicity to me—as an entree into friendship!

Johnny always says: "I'm not racist; one of my best friends is Black!" I think he might mean me!


Johnny is generous enough to remark upon how "articulate" I am! That makes me feel good!



Sally always says things that make me feel special, like: "You're so cool, you're different, you're not like other Black people!"


Sally's always saying: "You go girl!" while"raising the roof" to mainstream hip-hop tracks at cheesy bars. That's fun! I relate to that.

Sally and Johnny are always going on and on about how Tiger Woods changed the face of golf, and the Williams Sisters changed the face of tennis! On and on...like, almost for too long!

Sally and Johnny give me ample opportunities to translate rap lyrics, reggae songs, and/or street slang! Like I'm a mouthpiece for many, many cultures of dark-skinned people.

Here's yours trulies and our friends just hanging out, having a blast as usual!





BAM!!This is how we do it!






Don't hurt anybody, you two!!





Is that roof high enough...or does it need to be raised?!

Johnny gets props from a close friend!







This was hilarious!
We love playing Pictionary. Time was running out and Sally just could not get it!





Whoops! Johnny's totally stumped!

"Nigga, Pleeeeese!"

Oops....My bad, bro! One Love!One Love, One Heart!
Let's get together and feel all right.
Hear the children cryin'
(One Love!);
Hear the children cryin'
(One Heart!)
Sayin': give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right;
Sayin': let's get together and feel all right. Wo wo-wo wo-wo!

YOUR TESTIMONIALS!!

Direct from you, in your words....

Thanks, guys!!

Johnny isn't afraid to show he has a black friend because whenever he sees me in the hall he asks me Waaaazzzuup.

Johnny always compliments me by saying things like, "Damn bitch you stupid fly," or by telling me you a big fine woman back that thing up. Just things that make a black girl feel good.

I love how Johnny and Sally refer to me as "The Black Ryan" so no one gets confused when they are talking about me, this makes me feel special.