Thread: How to Come to Terms With Feeling Ugly

Are you tired of looking in the mirror and getting depressed, of avoiding your own reflection, feeling awkward in social situations? Well don't despair - most of the time, ugliness is just an attitude we put on. But even when it's a real physical deformity or lack, it can always be overcome. Yes, BigDyl....there's even hope for you.
Steps

1. Smile. Believe it or not, smiling or not smiling makes up most of what people think of as "attractive." If you think back on movies you've seen, which leading men really stood out as the handsome, attractive ones? Guaranteed, they got at least one big, genuine smile over to the audience during the film. Our brains are programmed to be attracted to smiles from the time we are infants, and it can do miracles toward putting that 'special something' into your otherwise unremarkable face. If people don't even remember what you look like, often, they will be able to recall your genuine grin or laugh.
2. Be open to thinking of yourself as attractive. Most of the time, people who feel that they are ugly shut themselves off from the rest of the world for fear that it will hurt them. In their opinion, the world's expected disapproval seems deserved. It is not. No one has the right to judge how you look but you, and if you decide to be good-looking, it doesn't matter if you are missing a nose, are abominably fat, or half of your face has a cancer, good-looking is what you will project to others. They will respond as if it is true whatever they would usually think. Most of the time, others only respond to a person as 'ugly' because that person responds to themselves as 'ugly.'
3. Stand looking into the mirror, and react to what you see as if it were another person. You deserve to treat yourself with at least the common decency you'd show to a stranger. You'd never walk up to a stranger and say, "wow, look at how ugly you are!" So don't do it to yourself. Be polite to yourself, and offer to help that person in the mirror in any way that you can, to look better and to feel better about how they do look, and then actually do it! Common courtesy to yourself can go a long way toward breaking the image of 'ugly' in your mind.
4. Dress well, and groom as if you were going out, every day. This means wear the nice pants, iron your shirts, make your hair look as good as it will get. This may seem a tedious waste at first, since most of the time those who are convinced they're ugly usually hide at home and never see anyone all day. But you will see yourself, and that's what really counts. When you get used to looking nice all day, you will begin to automatically think 'I look nice' as a knee-jerk reaction, and you will instantly respond to other people as if you look nice. This cycle builds on itself, until you really do look nice - and you'll be amazed one day to start getting compliments.
5. Keep it up. No matter how silly you feel at first, remember the steps: smile, be open to thinking of yourself as attractive, treat yourself as courteously as a stranger you would like to help, and groom yourself well. No matter how long it takes for your thinking to change, don't ever give up. True progress only comes gradually, it's only the fast-food mentality which says we have to have everything overnight.

Tips

• Remember, some of our favorite 'attractive' people really aren't very good looking! Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and even Carol Burnett aren't what an artist would call the paragon of beauty, but we love them for their attractive, delightful, energetic spirit. Beauty is a laugh; it's not in the shape of an eyebrow, it's in how you USE that eyebrow. In fact, the most well-recalled people are usually remembered just as much for their weird facial features as they are for their good ones!
• Beauty is just as much of an illusion as ugliness is. Take the make-up off your favorite supermodel, and you'd be shocked to realize she looks just like you did in high school. Even if she doesn't, put her in some old unkempt clothes and make her think she's ugly, and you'd be amazed at the transformation; from supermodel to wretch in a day.
• Self-confidence is more attractive than physical beauty. Stand-up straight, hold your head up high, and stare people in the eye.
• Remember that not all people find the same physical aspects attractive and a lot of times, the traits a person may find unattractive in themselves, other people will find beautiful.
• If you are unsure of how to dress well, find someone you see on a daily basis who you think looks good/happy/confident. Notice what they wear and find articles in your own wardrobe that are similar and try to emulate their style. Avoid over-the-top trends, but dress comfortably and classically; if it feels like your belly is hanging over your jeans waist, that doesn't make you feel good about yourself- so give those jeans away.

Things You'll Need

• Willingness to Try
• Stubbornness to Keep Trying

Source

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

I don't have my red wings, but I have a red stripe and have had a red finger on occasion.