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Pre-Relationship Agreement.

I, the undersigned, a female accepting a relationship
proposal, agree that...

Section 1. I fully understand that a woman's main role in
any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe
in the bathroom or your football team loses, I agree that - by some
complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be
my fault. Even if I wasn't there.

Section 2. I fully understand that a woman's main role in
any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe
in the bathroom or your football team loses, I agree that - by some
complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be
my fault. Even if I wasn't there. Noticed it was repeated.

Section 3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a
girl's night out, I will tell them that you are better hung than a
large-balled Himalayan yak, and an elephant would be jealous of your
genitalia.

Section 3.01 I shall mention *often* your sexual prowess and
longevity in the bedroom.

Section 3.02 And I will also mention this to YOUR friends. A
lot.

Section 4. After sex (which I will NEVER refer to as "making
love"), I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your arm
goes dead. Nor will I let my hair annoyingly get in your face.

Section 4.01 I will never, ever give your penis a "cute" nickname.

Section 5. In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any
novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all
the work and you just lie there, grinning.

Section 5.01 I will ruthlessly interrogate my attractive female friends
and inform you if any of them have the slightest
bisexual tendencies. Then I'll invite them around for dinner. And
hide their car keys so they have to stay.

Section 5.02 I promise to work out at the gym for two hours a
day in order to keep my body sexually desirable to you, even though
your intake of beer may cause your gut to swell to proportions of
a nine-month pregnancy.

Section 5.03 I promise never to bring up your hair loss and
the fact that a baby's butt and/or honeydew melon is somewhat
similar.

Section 5.04 I promise to shave every *possible* inch of my
body, and will always love your *weekend* beard...

Section 6. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of your
friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or
may one day meet. And if men attempt to talk to me, I will solemnly
inform them that you have "ruined me for other men".

Section 7. I understand that mechanical objects like cars,
computer games, and remote control devices are beyond the
comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I attempt to
operate them, so you're in charge of anything *mechanical*.

Section 7.01 With the exception of the following household
items: iron, washing machine and dryer, stove, refrigerator,
garbage disposal, garbage can, vacuum cleaner, diapers and toilets.

Being of sound mind and body, I enter this relationship contract.

Signed ____________________________________ (female)

My IronMag Journal

bigss75

Ever relationship would be perfect

SuperFlex

Well it's a beginning anyway... Call me.

May the Lord Jesus Christ bless those who bless me as I gladly accept their blessings, and curse those who curse me all the while protecting me for any evils. In Christ name, amen...

Crono1000

excellent