The kids say the damndest thing thread

**Shae** · 01-12-2006, 10:39 AM

Do your kids (your own, or kids you watch) say some things that are just off the wall?

Heres the place to tell it all.

**Shae** · 01-12-2006, 10:51 AM

Its just last night that my 11 year old sister was helping me do dishes. I had INXS' new album on the sterio. This song called "Hot Girls" comes on. And she dances in her wheelchair and sings the song. She tells me, "I'm hot." I thought she was complaining of the temperature of the room because of the hot water but she goes, "I'm hot stuff baby!"

**MyK** · 01-12-2006, 11:12 AM

http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/se...earchid=544183

**Shae** · 01-12-2006, 11:23 AM

^

Sorry - no matches. Please try some different terms.

**MyK** · 01-12-2006, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by Shae

^

**sdupdike** · 01-12-2006, 02:18 PM

My daughter was in the car with me the other day, she's 4 and I have a new Mustang. Anyway, she says, "mama, your car is sexy"! I thought that was kind of a strange thing for a 4 year old to say.

When she was two, she told me that Spiderman was cute, on the movie.

And she loves to sing that song, My Humps, by Black Eyed Peas!

**Tough Old Man** · 01-12-2006, 04:53 PM

I'll never forget a phone call home. My youngest answere's the phone. He had a problem back then with T's. So instead of the word "this" it was "dis". So I call home and my youngest answere's. I say let me talk to you mother. He replies back, WHO's DIS. I respond it's your DADDY DUMMY. I then here him yell out Mom, some guy name Daddy Dummy want's to talk to you.

Tough

**SJ69** · 01-12-2006, 05:00 PM

My 5 year old daughter, while complaining about stubbing her toe says "It hurts like hell" She didn't realize that that wasn't the best way to put it.

**Shae** · 01-12-2006, 08:36 PM

My mom and I were watching a friend's twin 5 year old girls (their names are Sarah and Grace) last week and we were on our way home from doing somthing. And mom had instructed me to take down the Christmas lights from the house and the house posts. Grace says, "Sarah, is he a red neck lady because she can't put away stuff the day after Santa comes?" Sara says, "Yeah! She's a red neck!"

Apparently, I think they like that song "Red Neck Woman" whenever mommy plays it on the sterio.

**Little Wing** · 01-12-2006, 09:01 PM

i set my camera up on my tripod n let my kids take some pics of each other. while playing the photographer tyler who is now 8 says to tesla who is now 14 "Look at me like a bad kitty."

**Little Wing** · 05-22-2006, 11:02 AM

i asked my son this morning "when you have a girlfriend are you going to be nice to her"
he said "sort of"
i asked "what do you mean?"
he says "sort of nice and sort of grateful."

**DOMS** · 05-22-2006, 11:14 AM

My 4 year old nephew: "You know, if it wasn't for me neck, me head would fall off."

**Little Wing** · 05-22-2006, 11:19 AM

lol. i love it in the movie 8 seconds one bullrider asks the other how his neck is n he says "it's holding my head on."

**DOMS** · 05-22-2006, 11:31 AM

**Dale Mabry** · 05-22-2006, 11:48 AM

My kids always tell me to stop burning them with cigarettes, those silly fuckers.

**Little Wing** · 05-22-2006, 11:50 AM

be nice i still have the emo pic n i'm not afraid to use it.

**Little Wing** · 09-10-2006, 10:43 PM

tyler is 9. he has a new friend.

after he has been around a new kid for a bit he comes out with things that let me know what they talk about.

today tesla's boyfriend was here and and i heard him say " ... most guys are just after free sex."

i said there's no such thing as free sex."

to which tyler replies " yes there is, you just gotta go through hell to get it"

maybe his new friend is foremanrules

**MyK** · 09-10-2006, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

tyler is 9. he has a new friend.

after he has been around a new kid for a bit he comes out with things that let me know what they talk about.

today tesla's boyfriend was here and and i heard him say " ... mosy guys are just after free sex."

i said there's no such thing as free sex."

to which tyler replies " yes there is, you just gotta go through hell to get it"

maybe his new friend is foremanrules

thats awesoem that your soo close. make sure that you talk to them about safe sex!

**The Monkey Man** · 09-10-2006, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by MyK

thats awesoem that your soo close. make sure that you talk to them about safe sex!

Don't encourage her...

Next she'll be sleeping with her daughters boyfriends teaching them
how to please a woman so her kid doesn't get a bad first fling

**MyK** · 09-10-2006, 11:01 PM

she should teach her son how to give a girl vaginal orgasms, that way he will be the only kid in school who can make girls squirt!!

**The Monkey Man** · 09-10-2006, 11:24 PM

This isn't fair...

She needs to be here to defend herself -

I'm starting to get a conscious again

**Little Wing** · 09-11-2006, 01:22 AM

you two can get away with it as long as it doesn't get ugly. i'm 45.
i don't want anything to do with my daughter's boyfriends. i don't want her to have anything to do with them either.

**The Monkey Man** · 09-11-2006, 01:26 AM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

you two can get away with it as long as it doesn't get ugly. i'm 45.
i don't want anything to do with my daughter's boyfriends. i don't want her to have anything to do with them either.

Think your language should maybe be less sexual with them then!?!? -

**Little Wing** · 09-11-2006, 02:15 AM

i wasn't meant to hear the comment n wanted him to know " i am aware you just mentioned sex to my daughter. i know everything. there's no such thing as free sex. touch her and you will die a slow and agonizing death" tyler however turned it into comedy central.

**Witmaster** · 09-11-2006, 05:42 AM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

i wasn't meant to hear the comment n wanted him to know " i am aware you just mentioned sex to my daughter. i know everything. there's no such thing as free sex. touch her and you will die a slow and agonizing death" tyler however turned it into comedy central.

I knew what you meant

I knew a Marine Gunnery Sergeant (Widower) who had 3 beautiful daughters. Every time a prospective boyfriend would come around on a "date" my buddie would make a point to have his (Very impressive) gun collection out on display.

I thought it was an effective deterrant.

**SuperFlex** · 09-11-2006, 05:48 AM

One time when I was young I was out with my aunt and uncle. Well I need to drain the little fella and I tell my uncle about it. He takes me to the restroom and says he'll wait here. I was very young and I said I needed some help. So he pulls down my pants and realizes I'm not tall enough to piss in the toilet yet. So he picks me up and stands me on the front of the toilet seat. I start pissing and it spraying everywhere. Back and forth... It splashing off the sides and all. Dude in the next stall yells hey! and I laugh. Finally I'm finished and my uncle pulls my pants up and sets me down. I turn around and look at him and say, "That's not how my mommy does it. She aims it for me..."

**Witmaster** · 09-11-2006, 05:50 AM

Which brings me to my "kids say the darndest things" post...

So there I was at Wal-Mart in the checkout line behind a woman with an extremely unruley boy (Probably 4 or 5). Apparantly the lad was upset because he didn't get what he wanted in the store. He was screaming and thriving about in protest when his mother finally had enough of it. She leaned over, grabed the kid by the arm sternly and said, "If you don't behave I'm going to give you a spanking!"

to which the defiant young man replied at maximum volume, "Oh YEA?!? Well I'm tellin' Grandma I saw you Suckin' Daddy's Weenie!!" (nearly the entire store heard this)

The woman turned white as a sheet, grabbed her purse and child and left the store, never to be seen again.

I don't think I helped matters when I spit my Sprite all over the floor from laughing so hard

**SuperFlex** · 09-11-2006, 05:52 AM

Originally Posted by Witmaster

Which brings me to my "kids say the darndest things" post...

So there I was at Wal-Mart in the checkout line behind a woman with an extremely unruley boy (Probably 4 or 5). Apparantly the lad was upset because he didn't get what he wanted in the store. He was screaming and thriving about in protest when his mother finally had enough of it. She leaned over, grabed the kid by the arm sternly and said, "If you don't behave I'm going to give you a spanking!"

to which the defiant young man replied at maximum volume, "Oh YEA?!? Well I'm tellin' Grandma I saw you Suckin' Daddy's Weenie!!" (nearly the entire store heard this)

The woman turned white as a sheet, grabbed her purse and child and left the store, never to be seen again.

I don't think I helped matters when I spit my Sprite all over the floor from laughing so hard

That kids good...

**The Monkey Man** · 09-11-2006, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by Witmaster

Which brings me to my "kids say the darndest things" post...

So there I was at Wal-Mart in the checkout line behind a woman with an extremely unruley boy (Probably 4 or 5). Apparantly the lad was upset because he didn't get what he wanted in the store. He was screaming and thriving about in protest when his mother finally had enough of it. She leaned over, grabed the kid by the arm sternly and said, "If you don't behave I'm going to give you a spanking!"

to which the defiant young man replied at maximum volume, "Oh YEA?!? Well I'm tellin' Grandma I saw you Suckin' Daddy's Weenie!!" (nearly the entire store heard this)

The woman turned white as a sheet, grabbed her purse and child and left the store, never to be seen again.

I don't think I helped matters when I spit my Sprite all over the floor from laughing so hard

Truely "penthouse forum" Story

**Little Wing** · 05-27-2008, 02:51 PM

this morning Tyler said "even tho you breast fed me i don't think the breasts are the most romantic part of a woman." i asked "what is?" he said "the eyes. if you wanna know if she loves you so it's in her glasses."

i don't think he's going to have much trouble getting women.

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