Anger Management

**Prince** · 01-24-2006, 02:49 PM

ANGER MANAGEMENT

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone
could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down
Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the
last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided
to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and
hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in
my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd

call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling

would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're
familiar with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for.. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that
spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window
so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had
his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole,
too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's
parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole."

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had
a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen.."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.

NOW, I feel better............ This is Anger Management at its very best!!

**BigDyl** · 01-24-2006, 02:53 PM

True Story.

By the way, I know your address Robert.

**cappo5150** · 01-24-2006, 03:15 PM

@sshole

**CRASHMAN** · 01-24-2006, 03:43 PM

**kenwood** · 01-24-2006, 04:12 PM

Lmfao!!!!!!!!

**Super Hulk** · 01-24-2006, 04:35 PM

You Fibber

**Tough Old Man** · 01-24-2006, 04:39 PM

Kind of reminds me of a day in Las Vegas. I'm waiting to pull into a parking spot and a car filled with a mexican family tries to pull in. Now I had been waiting for that spot. So I kind of block him in where he is partial way in at an angle. I jump out and notice he's an older guy around my age now. I was probably aboput 30 then. So I walk up to his window and tell him to move. He's not about to. So I reach in, place the car in park and grab his fucking keys. Now the car can't move and he's blocking the person to his left from getting out. I left with his keys and went to another casino. I threw his key in a trash can. About an hour later I decide to go back and guess what. There's a tow truck there moving his car out of the way. The fucker must have had only one set of keys. I wonder what that ended up costing the fucker. I don't remember where his plates where from but not Nev.

Tough

**kenwood** · 01-24-2006, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by Tough Old Man

Kind of reminds me of a day in Las Vegas. I'm waiting to pull into a parking spot and a car filled with a mexican family tries to pull in. Now I had been waiting for that spot. So I kind of block him in where he is partial way in at an angle. I jump out and notice he's an older guy around my age now. I was probably aboput 30 then. So I walk up to his window and tell him to move. He's not about to. So I reach in, place the car in park and grab his fucking keys. Now the car can't move and he's blocking the person to his left from getting out. I left with his keys and went to another casino. I threw his key in a trash can. About an hour later I decide to go back and guess what. There's a tow truck there moving his car out of the way. The fucker must have had only one set of keys. I wonder what that ended up costing the fucker. I don't remember where his plates where from but not Nev.

Tough

lmao

**fufu** · 01-24-2006, 05:15 PM

kekekeke

**BigDyl** · 01-24-2006, 05:18 PM

jajajajajaajajajajaja

**Tough Old Man** · 01-24-2006, 08:07 PM

true Tale

**oaktownboy** · 01-24-2006, 08:43 PM

good one Rob

**The Monkey Man** · 01-25-2006, 04:56 AM

SPLENDIIIIID!!

**MyK** · 01-25-2006, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by Tough Old Man

Kind of reminds me of a day in Las Vegas. I'm waiting to pull into a parking spot and a car filled with a mexican family tries to pull in. Now I had been waiting for that spot. So I kind of block him in where he is partial way in at an angle. I jump out and notice he's an older guy around my age now. I was probably aboput 30 then. So I walk up to his window and tell him to move. He's not about to. So I reach in, place the car in park and grab his fucking keys. Now the car can't move and he's blocking the person to his left from getting out. I left with his keys and went to another casino. I threw his key in a trash can. About an hour later I decide to go back and guess what. There's a tow truck there moving his car out of the way. The fucker must have had only one set of keys. I wonder what that ended up costing the fucker. I don't remember where his plates where from but not Nev.

Tough

holy fuck your an asshole!!! what about the guy at home hardware with wax in his ears?

**MyK** · 01-25-2006, 05:34 AM

I had to take anger management in high school because I used to be a scrapper! I never went though!

**Little Wing** · 01-25-2006, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by The Monkey Man

SPLENDIIIIID!!

who are you? Thurston Howell the Third?

**The Monkey Man** · 01-25-2006, 05:54 AM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

who are you? Thurston Howell the Third?

No, Steven "The Animal" Tripp...

**LexusGS** · 01-25-2006, 02:41 PM

Good Shit.

**Little Wing** · 01-25-2006, 11:23 PM

Originally Posted by The Monkey Man

No, Steven "The Animal" Tripp...

i have no idea who that is

. hurray for google cuz i will soon...

**Little Wing** · 01-25-2006, 11:26 PM

http://www.thinkequity.com/brokerage/team.html

maybe not

**The Monkey Man** · 01-26-2006, 04:37 AM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

http://www.thinkequity.com/brokerage/team.html

maybe not

Not even close...

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