Thread: Top ten movie quotes

"Here's Johnny!"
Jack Torrance, The Shining
Frequently voted the scariest movie of all time, Stanley Kubrick's The Shining may not be full of snappy one-liners but it does boast Jack Nicholson's famous ad-libbed utterance "Here's Johnny!". Out of context it seems harmless, but when coupled with the iconic imagery of a deranged Nicholson axing his way through a wooden door en-route to his petrified wife, it's enough to make even the most unflinching movie fan cower into the couch.

"He's not the messiah - he's a very naughty boy"
Brian's mother, Monty Python's Life Of Brian
Not only does this classic quote summarise the plot of the entire film, it's also a snapshot of Monty Python's brilliantly absurd humour, distinguished by this acute sense of the ridiculous, satirical and camp, and at times as wilfully blasphemous as anything in the history of cinema. The film stirred its fair share of controversy at the time, initially banned in Ireland and Norway. Just as well they didn't stick with Eric Idle's original title - Jesus Christ: Lust For Glory.

"We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now"
Withnail, Withnail & I
A true cult classic (particularly for students who aspire to the record-breaking feats of liver abuse on display), Withnail & I is brimming with absurdly quotable passages - none more so than the scene in which our legless anti-heroes stumble into an old ladies' tearoom and pompously demand "the finest wines available to humanity". Despite his effortlessly convincing performance as a drunkard, actor Richard E Grant is in fact teetotal - although director Bruce Dickinson eventually persuaded him to down a tumbler of vodka in rehearsals to add authenticity to his rendition. Whether he was drunk when agreeing to do those Argos commercials, though, we'll never know...

"The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club"
Tyler Durden, Fight Club
Re-used by just about everybody in middle management during their staff training sessions eg. "the first rule of Croydon Office Supplies is...", this is the moment that Brad Pitt's fearsomely imposing Tyler Durden introduces the rules of Fight Club to his assembled rabble of white collar disciples. So replete with such streetwise, MTV-friendly sound bites was Chuck Palahniuk's original novel, in fact, that the leap onto celluloid transformed it instantly into a cultural phenomenon, still remembered for other gems such as "This is your life - and it's ending one minute at a time".

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?"
Jules, Pulp Fiction
Samuel L Jackson's smart-talking, bible-quoting Jules is the quintessential Tarantino gangster, firing out one-liners like a hail of bullets in his most memorable screen role to date. This razor-sharp way with words has seen Tarantino amass a library's worth of über-quotable dialogue, key to his rise from cult director to cultural icon. Most importantly, though, he was responsible for the introduction of the word "gimp" to thousands of sniggering students across the country.

Whats yours? They seem to have most of them covered.

"Donnie: Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls."

"Ah'll be back."

"I'll make ya famous."

"You're hit. You're bleedin', man."

"I ain't got time to bleed."

"I could have killed 'em all, I could kill you. In town you're the law, out here it's me. Don't push it. Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe. Let it go. Let it go."

"He was ten-speeding a gazillion miles per hour through Central Park. You know, racing with all the other young Turks. When, all of a sudden he caught a glimpse of himself in the handlebar mirror and became so... aroused by it that he burst his Speedo shorts which then got caught in the gears and threw him right on his face. Splatter" - Igby Goes Down

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

-HEAT-

"They can't see us we're in the spirit world"

young guns II

1:I have a question.

2:What is it?

1:An interrogative statement, used to test knowledge, but that's not important right now.

Originally Posted by MWpro

"Donnie: Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls."

Stop stealing my theme!

Sidekicks:



Master Stone: Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris? He doesn't compete anymore kid, and the main reason, one of the main reasons he doesn't compete anymore is me. He doesn't compete 'cause I would kick his ass.

Originally Posted by Doublebase

"They can't see us we're in the spirit world"

young guns II

that's actually in pt I...and it's fuckin HILARIOUS!

"Why aren't they shooting at us?"

"Because we're in the spirit world, they can't see us, jackass."

"I'll be your huckleberry." - Val Kilmer - Tombstone

"In the words of the imortal Socratese, "I drank WHAT?"" - Val Kilmer - Real Genius

Austin Powers: How did this get in here? Somebody's pulling a prank on me! Honestly, it's not mine!



Had to use that one several times through this new 9/11 Airport security.

Buckaroo Banzai: Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Jay:
Tell me something about me.
Rufus:
You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay:
So, fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus:
When you do it, you're thinking about guys!

Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will repent.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.



Boondock Saints

Good Morning Vietnam!
"Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun."

Yakavetta: I'm having a shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy.
Yakavetta: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right, he says to the nigger "What do you want?" and the nigger says, "I want all my nigger brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So... I'm not funny today, really, this joke sucks, I know...
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: Uh, so he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and niggers are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

Boondock Saints

Rocco: [shouts] Fuck it! There's so much shit that pisses me off! You guys should recruit, because I'm sick and fucking tired of walking down the street, waiting for one of these crack-piping, ass-wiping, motherless lowlifes to get me!
Murphy: Hallelujah, Jaffar.
Rocco: Wait, so you're not just talking about mob guys, right? You're talking about pimps and drug dealers and all that shit, right?
Connor: Oh, yeah.
Rocco: Fuck. You guys could do this every goddamn day!
Murphy: We're sorta like 7-Eleven. We're not always doing business, but we're always open.


Boondock Saints

Larry Flynt:
Murder is illegal. But, you take a picture of somebody committing the act of murder and they'll put you on the cover of Newsweek. You might even win a Pulitzer Prize. And yet . . . sex is legal. Everybody's doing it, or everybody wants to be doing it. Yet, you take a picture of two people in the act of sex of just take a picture of a woman's naked body and they'll put you in jail. Now, I have a message for all you good, moral, Christian people who are complaining that breasts and vaginas are obscene. Hey, don't complain to me, complain to the manufacturer. Okay and although Jesus told us not to judge, I know you're going to judge anyway so judge sanely--judge with your eyes open.

Larry Flynt:
A woman's vagina has as much personality as her face.

Clark Griswold "You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes!"

Willy Wonka: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Harry Block: All people know the same truth, our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.