Reply With QuoteChuck Norris doesn't repost old stuff...
Chuck Norris
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Thread: Chuck Norris
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02-28-2006, 04:34 PM #1Senior Member ELITE MEMBER
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Chuck Norris
"A child does not learn to squat from the top down -- in other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and makes the conscious decision to stand." - Gray Cook
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02-28-2006, 04:37 PM #2Back from the dead
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02-28-2006, 04:48 PM #3Senior Member ELITE MEMBER
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crap
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02-28-2006, 04:59 PM #4Senior Member ELITE MEMBER
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This is true but that was 4 months ago.
Originally Posted by gococksDJS
"A child does not learn to squat from the top down -- in other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and makes the conscious decision to stand." - Gray Cook
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02-28-2006, 05:01 PM #5Back from the dead
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Chuck Norris can travel through time, so that doesn't mean shit. Originally Posted by Doublebase
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02-28-2006, 05:03 PM #6Registered User
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Chuck is one of the worst actors ever.
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02-28-2006, 05:14 PM #7Back from the dead
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I would insult you, but you're no doubt already dead, killed by the man you so callously mocked. Originally Posted by Mista
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02-28-2006, 05:57 PM #8Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter. Damn he's a bad motha.......
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi. WOW!Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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02-28-2006, 05:58 PM #9Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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02-28-2006, 06:05 PM #10Back from the dead
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Chuck Norris round-house kicked the periodic table of elements and all that was left was the element of surprise.
It used to be "The Bermuda Square" until Chuck Norris round-house kicked a corner out of it.
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02-28-2006, 06:15 PM #11Magical Apelikemenace ELITE MEMBER
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Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!
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02-28-2006, 06:16 PM #12Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Chuck Norris kills a lion.
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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02-28-2006, 06:18 PM #13Back from the dead
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These things are funny as hell
There's no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There's no such thing as Global Warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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02-28-2006, 06:18 PM #14Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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02-28-2006, 06:19 PM #15Moderator MODERATOR
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...
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02-28-2006, 06:19 PM #16Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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Originally Posted by The Monkey Man
oops I mean
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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02-28-2006, 06:29 PM #17Magical Apelikemenace ELITE MEMBER
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I got in bad trouble for that, before -
Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!
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02-28-2006, 06:35 PM #18Registered User
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I remember the first movie I watched with him starring in it, he wrestled a guy out of a helicopter, hit the ground and dusted himself off.
Nuff said
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02-28-2006, 06:43 PM #19Back from the dead
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Originally Posted by Mista
But this is what you said about him earlier...
You know what happened? Chuck Norris ran back in time to when you were in the womb and round house kicked your mother's stomach so that you'd respect him forever. Originally Posted by Mista
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02-28-2006, 06:49 PM #20Magical Apelikemenace ELITE MEMBER
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That would have killed him... Originally Posted by gococksDJS
He must have went back and roundhouse kicked his great-grandmothers
firstborn, aborting it, and sending the shockwave down through the generations!
Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!
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02-28-2006, 06:50 PM #21Elite Kiki ELITE MEMBER
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Chuck Norris is his own grandfather.
True Story.
Which is why he never killed his grandfather.
True Story.Total ownage. Originally Posted by kbm8795
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02-28-2006, 07:06 PM #22Back from the dead
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Huh? Shouldn't you be out charming a cobra out of a small reed basket and kissing it on the head for tourists? Originally Posted by The Monkey Man
That would have killed him...
He must have went back and roundhouse kicked his great-grandmothers
firstborn, aborting it, and sending the shockwave down through the generations!
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02-28-2006, 07:24 PM #23Senior Member ELITE MEMBER
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
"A child does not learn to squat from the top down -- in other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and makes the conscious decision to stand." - Gray Cook
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02-28-2006, 07:40 PM #24Magical Apelikemenace ELITE MEMBER
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Your'e just jealous, you can't play the clarinet - Originally Posted by gococksDJS
Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!
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02-28-2006, 07:55 PM #25Back from the dead
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I am quite skilled and dignified when it comes to the skin flute, does this count? Originally Posted by The Monkey Man
Your'e just jealous, you can't play the clarinet -
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02-28-2006, 08:14 PM #26Magical Apelikemenace ELITE MEMBER
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Originally Posted by gococksDJS
Hmmmmmm
Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!
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02-28-2006, 08:24 PM #27Registered User
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That is why I think he is a crap actor. Too fake IMO.
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02-28-2006, 08:26 PM #28Back from the dead
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I don't think so. Opening a link you post is like opening a UPS packge from Ted Kaczynski. It's a gamble Originally Posted by The Monkey Man
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02-28-2006, 08:27 PM #29Registered User
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This was the show I seen it on.
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02-28-2006, 08:29 PM #30Elite Kiki ELITE MEMBER
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fuck'n chuck norris....
Total ownage. Originally Posted by kbm8795
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