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SIGH. Only in America.

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  1. #1
    finding peace

    Shae's Avatar

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    SIGH. Only in America.

    1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

    3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
    healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

    5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

    7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

    EVER WONDER????

    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
    Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
    progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    ~~~~

    On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (and that would be how??...)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
    heating." (...and you thought????...)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
    body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
    operate machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (and... I'm taking this because???....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
    only." (as opposed to...what?)

    On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

    On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
    hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


  2. #2
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    Bazooka Tooth's Avatar

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    hahahah I read through all of them, hilarious, so many good questions in there....

  3. #3
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    Commie
    I highly recommend all IronMagLabs supplements!
    www.ironmaglabs.com

  4. #4
    grrrrrr

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    some of those are qutie funny!
    Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
    ~Anais Nin

  5. #5
    Bohemian Extraordinaire
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    Healthy people don't buy cigarettes.
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  6. #6
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    Triple Threat's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shae

    2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
    Yes, it's totally preposterous that a handicapped parent would bring a child to skate.

  7. #7
    Voodoo Doll
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    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food

    Don't look back ~ You're not going that way!






  8. #8
    finding peace

    Shae's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by ForemanRules
    Commie










  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shae
    9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
    Quote Originally Posted by http://www.word-detective.com/051600.html
    The root of "politics" is actually the Greek word "polis," meaning "city or state."

    A "polites" in Ancient Greece was a citizen of a city or state, and "politikos" meant "pertaining to citizens or affairs of the state." These Greek words were carried over to Latin (where "politicus" meant the same thing), and, via the French "politique," entered English as "politic" around 1420.

    So "politics" has simply meant "the process of running the state" ever since the time of the Ancient Greeks...

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