Thread: Wedding expenses are outrageous!

Originally Posted by largepkg

I'm in the process of planning my Spring 2007 wedding and I can't believe how naive I was to the expense.

I finally picked my location and it's $150 a head!

We'll have around 225 people at the wedding. I swear I almost passed out.

Then you have the flowers $3-5k, the band $6k, the emcee $1k, the photographer/videographer $5k

On top of that, is all the ancillary things needed. Like candles, embroidered napkins, drink stirrers, favors, decorations, ets... I will spend $4k on all of this crap. Now I know why everyone told me to stay single.

This event is going to cost $55-60k for 5 hours.

I tried to talk the future Mrs. Largepkg into eloping and having one hell of a honeymoon, but NO...

It's gonna cost me almost 2k just to GO to my friends wedding. Good Luck man.

Originally Posted by largepkg

I tried to talk the future Mrs. Largepkg into eloping and having one hell of a honeymoon, but NO...

This greatly disturbs me.

Total waste of money, spend that on a home, retirement, your childerns future education...ect. It is not surprising that Ameriacns are in debt when they spend money like it is water. Have a small gathering at your home or the home of a close family member, invite only very close family and your best friend/s only.....cut your costs by 90%.

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

It's gonna cost me almost 2k just to GO to my friends wedding. Good Luck man.

This is even more troublesome to me. Everytime a buddy asks me to be in his wedding, I end up having to shell out for a tux, an engagement present, a bachelor party, a wedding present, and the feeling in the back of my head that there is only a 1 in 2 chance I am not going to have to do the same fucking thing 5 years down the road when he gets married again to someone else.

Have your wedding at the VFW and the reception at Sizzler, your friends will thank you.

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

Total waste of money, spend that on a home, retirement, your childerns future education...ect. It is not surprising that Ameriacns are in debt when they spend money like it is water. Have a small gathering at your home or the home of a close family member, invite only very close family and your best friend/s only.....cut your costs by 90%.

Best advice I could give you too. You forgot about the preacher or whoever is performing the ceremony too. Do like my best friend is doing, hire one of your friends to perform the wedding. I'm a notary public, so in SC I can perform the wedding, for free too (well, besides the free alcohol).

Weddings are overrated even for the girl, they only last for a day. If you want to spend some $, then save it for the honeymoon. Believe me, it will be the only time for a while (unless you're well off) that you will have to spend that kind of $ for a vacation. You have to pay off the wedding, then buy a house, then kids, etc.........where's the vacation then?

Oh, did I mention you will have more sex on this vacation than any other? Think about it.....

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

Total waste of money, spend that on a home, retirement, your childerns future education...ect. It is not surprising that Ameriacns are in debt when they spend money like it is water. Have a small gathering at your home or the home of a close family member, invite only very close family and your best friend/s only.....cut your costs by 90%.

You're preaching to the choir Foreman.

The only good news is I'm only paying for $5k of it. Her family is picking up the majority of the tab.

Even though it's not my money I still think it's ridiculous. All these families want to do is show of their daughter! It's all about impressing everyone there.

What a joke!

Originally Posted by cg18862

Best advice I could give you too. You forgot about the preacher or whoever is performing the ceremony too. Do like my best friend is doing, hire one of your friends to perform the wedding. I'm a notary public, so in SC I can perform the wedding, for free too (well, besides the free alcohol).

Weddings are overrated even for the girl, they only last for a day. If you want to spend some $, then save it for the honeymoon. Believe me, it will be the only time for a while (unless you're well off) that you will have to spend that kind of $ for a vacation. You have to pay off the wedding, then buy a house, then kids, etc.........where's the vacation then?

Oh, did I mention you will have more sex on this vacation than any other? Think about it.....

Again for me it's not the money. I won't be shelling out a whole lot. Not to mention I figure we'll easily bag $20k cash plus gifts from family and friends. I would forgo all of this if she would. You can't talk sense into a 26 year women who has her mind set on the fairytale.

Not to rain on your parade, but the best investment you can make for your wedding is a prenuptial agreement.

Originally Posted by DOMS

Not to rain on your parade, but the best investment you can make for your wedding is a prenuptial agreement.

Very true, a wedding is a business agreement and if you don't realsie that you are in big trouble.

Originally Posted by DOMS

Not to rain on your parade, but the best investment you can make for your wedding is a prenuptial agreement.

It's funny you say that. I've done OK for myself over the last few years but she has a whole lot more. Yes, technically it's her families money but she has more in stocks and other investments than most people do at 40.

Originally Posted by DOMS

Not to rain on your parade, but the best investment you can make for your wedding is a prenuptial agreement.

And a hefty life insurance policy for when she gains 100lbs in the first year and dies of a stroke.

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

Very true, a wedding is a business agreement and if you don't realsie that you are in big trouble.

I heartedly agree. And don't let her pull that "If you really loved me..." crap. Just because she has driving insurance doesn't mean that she wants to crash, it's "just in case."

Originally Posted by largepkg

It's funny you say that. I've done OK for myself over the last few years but she has a whole lot more. Yes, technically it's her families money but she has more in stocks and other investments than most people do at 40.

That can easily be taken care of. For example, one of my friends comes from a rich family, and her parents have it written in to their will that Chachi can't touch a dime of it until they are married for 10 years.

Originally Posted by largepkg

Again for me it's not the money. I won't be shelling out a whole lot. Not to mention I figure we'll easily bag $20k cash plus gifts from family and friends. I would forgo all of this if she would. You can't talk sense into a 26 year women who has her mind set on the fairytale.

I agree you can't. Not if you want to contine having sex and have a good marriage.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

That can easily be taken care of. For example, one of my friends comes from a rich family, and her parents have it written in to their will that Chachi can't touch a dime of it until they are married for 10 years.

Dale, she already holds the stocks and real estate investments. The rest she will inherit over time.

I could care less about how much she will eventually get but she is only 1 of 2 children and her younger brother is a class A fuck up.

If she is the type of girl that isn't satisfied unless she blows $50k on a wedding... I would seriously reconsider the entire thing.

A marriage is a business arrangement as much as it is anything else. And if my business partner doesn't understand the value of money... well they aren't my business partner.

I would try and downscale it. My wedding was $5k with string quartet and in the Banff Spring Hotel (very nice)... We just kept it under 20 people. There is no reason to invite 200+ people. Who the hell cares. That is rediculous. Most of these people you will barely know.

Keep it way smaller and you will actually care about the people there. It will be much more intimate, much less stressful and you will enjoy the day much more... Ask anyone that has had a small wedding. Then ask the people that invite everyone they ever met if they could have done without all those people. Do you want to be shaking hands and meeting people all night or do you want to enjoy your wedding?

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

And a hefty life insurance policy for when she gains 100lbs in the first year and dies of a stroke.

That's a nice thought, but that's not how it goes down. There's the old adage, "Why do men die before women? Because they want to."

Congrats largepkg.

Although my wedding didn't cost quite as much, it was still a fair chunk of coin. And looking back I wouldn't change a thing about spending that kind of money on that day.

All the best to you.

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

Congrats largepkg.

Although my wedding didn't cost quite as much, it was still a fair chunk of coin. And looking back I wouldn't change a thing about spending that kind of money on that day.

All the best to you.

Thanks Iain!

I don't want to come off as the hard ass here. I like the idea of having a nice wedding and doing it the right way. To me and the way I was raised it just seems frivolous.

The simple truth is if my sweetheart wants it and she has the resources to pay for it who am I to stand in her way?

Originally Posted by largepkg

I'm in the process of planning my Spring 2007 wedding

no offense but i think it's stupid to spend that on a wedding. keep it simple and small and use the money for a great honeymoon.

ahhhh, her parents are paying... good deal.

My condolences and deepest sympathies.

Originally Posted by Little Wing

ahhhh, her parents are paying... good deal.

Yuck... still not a good excuse to blow that kind of money.

Especially someone else's money. If she is willing to take that kind of money from her parents... how is she going to treat YOUR money.

... another reason not to have kids.

I could just see me having a daughter and in 20 years her wanting $100k for her wedding.

"daddy, can you give me $100k for my wedding?"

Yeah, I knew people that did that for their wedding and then divorced less than a year later... I would have to kill the kid.

if i could afford that type of wedding for my daughter n she wanted it i'd be happy to pay. i wouldn't expect a couple just starting out to spend their money like that. i'm betting it won't hurt her parents.

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

... another reason not to have kids.

I could just see me having a daughter and in 20 years her wanting $100k for her wedding.

"daddy, can you give me $100k for my wedding?"

Yeah, I knew people that did that for their wedding and then divorced less than a year later... I would have to kill the kid.

their daughter is marrying a really nice guy.

I went to a wedding 2 years ago...The facility it was held at alone was $250k, I know, I got drunk and asked the front desk guy. It was at The Balsams in New Hampshire which was a nice place, but each room was $250 per person, per night. I imagine when you factor in the rehearsal dinner (Filet and Lobster tails w/ open bar), all the rooms the brides parents paid for because most of the family is not well off, the dresses and tuxes (Again, Brides family picked up the tab), and the afterparty they paid for at the golf course on the resort(Again, open bar) they were looking at between $350k to $400k easy.