Smart ass answers of the year awards (2005)

shiznit2169 · 07-25-2006, 10:45 AM

5 Winning Smart Ass Answers For 2005

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

his trench coat and flashed at her.

Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

your stub."

**************** *

Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

*******************

Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop

said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the

cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

ticket! .

*******************

Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead

of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to

the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of gas"!

*******************

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

" Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter

sexual exhaustion?"< /B>

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head
and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
other hand."

Andy_Massaro · 07-25-2006, 10:54 AM

hahahahaha that teacher is AWESOME

**Mudge** · 07-25-2006, 01:12 PM

Good ones.

min0 lee · 07-25-2006, 04:10 PM

BigDyl · 07-25-2006, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by min0 lee

min0 lee · 07-25-2006, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigDyl

Vieope · 07-25-2006, 06:04 PM

KelJu · 07-25-2006, 06:07 PM

I think Pfunk had better ones than that. Who can forget the one and only:
"Just shut the fuck up dumbass"

BigDyl · 07-25-2006, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KelJu

I think Pfunk had better ones than that. Who can forget the one and only:
"Just shut the fuck up dumbass"

True Story, he pfunkowned me one time, but I forget what he said.

sinbad · 07-26-2006, 01:42 AM

"no i just listen to ampedout"

07-25-2006, 10:45 AM	#1
shiznit2169 flawless Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 4,074 Photos: 1	Smart ass answers of the year awards (2005) 5 Winning Smart Ass Answers For 2005 Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." **************** * Smart Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." ***************** Smart Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket! . *************** Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas"! ***************** #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005....................... A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. " Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"< /B> The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
	My Journal

07-25-2006, 06:04 PM	#7
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,826 Photos: 10
	FURtherness

07-26-2006, 01:42 AM	#10
sinbad Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 8	"no i just listen to ampedout"
sinbad Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 8

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07-25-2006, 10:54 AM	#2
Andy_Massaro Beginning body builder Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: CT Posts: 420 Photos: 3	hahahahaha that teacher is AWESOME
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07-25-2006, 01:12 PM	#3
Mudge Pizza the Hut Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 23,027 Photos: 1	Good ones.
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07-25-2006, 04:10 PM	#4
min0 lee I See© Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 32,737 Blog Entries: 3 Photos: 542
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