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It can't be all that bad...

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  1. #1
    Esprit de Corps
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    Witmaster's Avatar

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    It can't be all that bad...

    You have two choices in life:
    You can stay single and be miserable,
    or get married and wish you were dead.


    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
    "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
    "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."



    Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
    Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."



    Then there was a woman who said,
    "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
    and by then, it was too late."



    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

    If you want your spouse to listen and
    pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.



    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

    First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
    Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

    ”A Man's Prayer:
    Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a woman, to Love and to forgive her, and for patience, for her moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat her to death "



    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

    So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

    The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus
    , so shut the hell up."
    NEVER write a check with your mouth that you can't cash with your ASS!!

    I can run faster mad than you can scared

    "All right brain... I don't like you and you don't like me. So let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer" ~ Homer Simpson

  2. #2
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    The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."


    I highly recommend all IronMagLabs supplements!
    www.ironmaglabs.com

  3. #3
    Elite Kiki
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    Quote Originally Posted by kbm8795 View Post
    Oh, I think Americans understand that the one thing conservatives hate the most is the idea of spending American tax money on Americans. . .in America.


    Your tax money is safe. . .in Iraq.
    Total ownage.

  4. #4
    Esprit de Corps
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDyl
    Stop staring at my nose
    NEVER write a check with your mouth that you can't cash with your ASS!!

    I can run faster mad than you can scared

    "All right brain... I don't like you and you don't like me. So let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer" ~ Homer Simpson

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForemanRules
    The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."




  6. #6
    Beginning body builder

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    lmao i love the last one with he blind man
    "The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear." - Socrates

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