Thread: Can Fedor beat a Primate?

Chimpanzee FACT FILE: Swahili Name: Sokwe Mtu Scientific Name: Pan troglodytes Size: 3 to 41/2 feet tall standing bipedal Weight: 55 to 110 pounds Lifespan: 50 years Habitat: Forest Diet: Omnivorous forager Gestation: 8 months Predators: Humans, leopards

Noisy and curious, intelligent and social, the chimpanzee is the mammal most like a human. Chimpanzees fascinate humans and are favorites both in zoos and the wild.

Three subspecies of common chimpanzees are distributed across the forest zone of Africa from Guinea to western Tanzania and Uganda. Another species of chimpanzees, the bonobo (Pan paniscus), is found exclusively in central Democratic Republic of Congo. In East Africa the chimpanzee is found in the wild in Tanzania and Uganda, but only in captivity in Kenya. Gombe National Park in Tanzania is the first park in Africa specifically created for chimpanzees.

Physical Characteristics
The chimpanzee has a thickset body with long arms, short legs and no tail. Much of the body is covered with long black hair, but the face, ears, fingers and toes are bare. They have hands that can grip firmly, allowing them to pick up objects. The discovery that they used "tools" for certain purposes surprised the world.

Habitat
Chimps are mainly found in rain forests and wet savannas. While they spend equal time on land and in trees, they do most of their feeding and sleeping in trees.

Behavior
Chimps live in groups called troops, of some 30 to 80 individuals. These large groups are made up of smaller, very flexible groups of just a few animals, perhaps all females, all males or a mixed group.

Chimps sometimes chew leaves to make them absorbent and then use them as a sponge, dipping them in water and sucking out the moisture. They also use grass stems or twigs as tools, poking them into termite or ant nests and eating the insects that cling to them. They are able to wedge nuts between the roots of a tree and break the shells open with a stone.

Chimps are both arboreal and terrestrial, spending much of their daytime hours on the ground. They are quadrupedal, walking quickly on all fours with the fingers half-flexed to support the weight of the forequarters on the knuckles. They occasionally walk erect for short distances.

Chimps are agile climbers, building nests high up in trees to rest in during midday and sleep in at night. They construct new nests in minutes by bending branches, intertwining them to form a platform and lining the edges with twigs. In some areas chimps make nests on the ground.

Diet
Chimps are diurnal (but often active on moonlit nights) and begin their activities at dawn. After descending from their night nests they hungrily feed on fruits, their principal diet, and on leaves, buds and blossoms. After a while their feeding becomes more selective, and they will choose only the ripest fruit. They usually pick fruit with their hands, but they eat berries and seeds directly off the stem with their lips. Their diet consists of up to 80 different plant foods.

Caring for the Young
The female chimp has an estrus cycle of about 34 to 35 days. While in heat, the bare skin on her bottom becomes pink and swollen, and she may mate with several males. She normally gives birth to just one baby, which clings tightly to her breast and, like a human baby, develops rather slowly. An infant can sit up at 5 months and stand with support at 6 months. It is still suckled and sleeps with its mother until about 3 years of age, finally becoming independent and separating from her at about 4 years. Sexual maturity is reached between 8 and 10 years.

Chimps are among the noisiest of all wild animals and use a complicated system of sounds to communicate with each other. A loud "wraaa" call, which can be heard more than a mile away, warns of something unusual or disturbing. They hoot "hoo-hoo-hoo," scream, grunt and drum on hollow trees with the flat of their hands, sometimes for hours.

Chimps touch each other a great deal and may kiss when they meet. They also hold hands and groom each other. An adult chimp often has a special "friend" or companion with which it spends a lot of time. Female chimps give their young a great deal of attention and help each other with babysitting chores. Older chimps in the group are usually quite patient with energetic youngsters.

Predators
The number of chimps in the wild is steadily decreasing. The wilderness areas necessary to their survival are disappearing at an alarming rate as more forests are cut down for farming and other activities. As the human's closest relative the chimp is vulnerable to many of the same diseases, and their capture for medical research contributes to their decline, especially in West Africa. as more forests are cut down for farm activities. In addition, recent outbreaks of the incurable disease Ebola hemorrhagic fever, threaten to decimate important chimpanzee populations in the Republic of Congo and Gabon.

Did you know?

• Chimpanzees use large sticks and branches as clubs or throw them at enemies like leopards and humans.
• Chimps supplement their diets with meat, such as young antelopes or goats. Their most frequent victims, however, are other primates such as young baboons, colobus monkeys and blue monkeys.

Fedor is a heavyweight

So we put him up against a big chimp...

Fedor is about twice the bodyweight of a large chimp

Chimps are 6-7 times stronger than the average man,
have wicked teeth, and are fast


I want to see it!

still at 5

Yes.

I doubt it. Chimp would snap his neck like a toothpick. Those things are stupid strong. I bet they have ridiculous chins too.

No, his one loss was to an orangutan past his prime...

Actually his loss is hardly considered a loss. The guy who "won" cut him, and they called the match. Had they not called it, he would have destroyed him anyways.


He came back and destroyed the guy in a 1 or 2 minute match. So that loss is irrelevent.

Fedor could out squat p-funk.

Originally Posted by BigDyl

Actually his loss is hardly considered a loss. The guy who "won" cut him, and they called the match. Had they not called it, he would have destroyed him anyways.


He came back and destroyed the guy in a 1 or 2 minute match. So that loss is irrelevent.

Yes, I know, but a loss is a loss. He must have thin skin like a woman or something...

I remember seeing a program on Discovery where two chimps got loose from a Chimp farm and attacked a couple having a picnic. The guy tried to protect his wife and ended up getting his fingers ripped off within seconds and his face mangled so bad you could barely tell it was a human. He now breathes out of a little hole in face that doesn't resemble a mouth whatsoever. He has had 30 surgeries and needs more including an induced coma to help him heal.

Originally Posted by SuperFlex

Yes, I know, but a loss is a loss. He must have thin skin like a woman or something...

RIiiiiiiight...

Originally Posted by Goodfella9783

I remember seeing a program on Discovery where two chimps got loose from a Chimp farm and attacked a couple having a picnic. The guy tried to protect his wife and ended up getting his fingers ripped off within seconds and his face mangled so bad you could barely tell it was a human. He now breathes out of a little hole in face that doesn't resemble a mouth whatsoever. He has had 30 surgeries and needs more including an induced coma to help him heal.

First off, that was a 2 on 1, unfair. Secondly, if it was Fedor, the guy wouldn't be alive. Case dismissed.

Originally Posted by BigDyl

RIiiiiiiight...

I wonder if his favorite color is hot pink?

Originally Posted by Goodfella9783

I remember seeing a program on Discovery where two chimps got loose from a Chimp farm and attacked a couple having a picnic. The guy tried to protect his wife and ended up getting his fingers ripped off within seconds and his face mangled so bad you could barely tell it was a human. He now breathes out of a little hole in face that doesn't resemble a mouth whatsoever. He has had 30 surgeries and needs more including an induced coma to help him heal.

A chimp looked at me cock-eyed once, and then I ended his life.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

looked at me cock-eyed

Are you sure that wasn't fedor in his hot pink dress?

Originally Posted by SuperFlex

Are you sure that wasn't fedor in his hot pink dress?

Stop turning me on.

Originally Posted by SuperFlex

Are you sure that wasn't fedor in his hot pink dress?

I thought it was Foreman at first, but the ape spoke more eloquently and had a tigher ass.

Originally Posted by BigDyl

Stop turning me on.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

I thought it was Foreman at first, but the ape spoke more eloquently and had a tigher ass.

x2

This arguement is completely nullified....



Fedor is a primate.

The chimp would grab Fedor's lower jaw and rip it off with a yank, can you picture him running around with no lower mandible, just his tongue flopping around and his breaths gargling with the blood flowing into his throat...

Originally Posted by maniclion

The chimp would grab Fedor's lower jaw and rip it off with a yank, can you picture him running around with no lower mandible, just his tongue flopping around and his breaths gargling with the blood flowing into his throat...

Yes, because Fedor would just stand there and let him grab his jaw.




True Story, animals are overrated.

Originally Posted by maniclion

The chimp would grab Fedor's lower jaw and rip it off with a yank, can you picture him running around with no lower mandible, just his tongue flopping around and his breaths gargling with the blood flowing into his throat...

I agree. It's kinda like saying an average man could handle a vicious pitbull. It might be easy to think in our heads that if it came down to it, we could take a Pit. But in reality, a Pitbull will fuck shit up. I've seen Pitbulls attack other humans to the point where three people had to sit on a bike that was on the Pitbull and a police officer unloaded a few rounds into the dog's head. Not pretty. And a Pitbull doesn't have 1/4 of the strength & ferocity that a chimp has. When a chimp goes into survival mode, forget about it. You're getting ripped to shreds.

http://www.uglyjackass.com/media/vid...d=chimp_attack

Originally Posted by BigDyl

Yes, because Fedor would just stand there and let him grab his jaw.




True Story, animals are overrated.

What do you think really happened to Michael Jacksons face son? That is reconstructive surgery not plastic surgery....Bubbles went off on him....

You're forgetting that:

1. Fedor isn't tamed.

2. Fedor is much larger.

3. Fedor isn't human either.

A chimp would use the Texas Tittie Twister and have Fedor tapping out faster than BigDyl in a mudwrestling match with women.